Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, etc. Wow, who can keep up with all the social media plans? I love having different media to explore, but the unrealness of some of it all boggles the mind! So what’s your story? I always wonder as I look around at the various shapes, sizes, and body types,  “what’s going through her head when she looks in the mirror?

Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, etc. Wow, who can keep up with all the social media plans? I love having different media to explore, but the unrealness of some of it all boggles the mind! So what’s your story? I always wonder as I look around at the various shapes, sizes, and body types,  “what’s going through her head when she looks in the mirror?” ( I do this a lot when I’m people watching, by the way, *snicker*). Just by the facial expressions alone; some look happy, sad, and the others? Well, I’m not so sure of their place in this colorful complex world but hey, we all have to find “ourselves” and come into our own at some point.

I can’t say I get it as to why we women, seem to struggle so much with finding and embracing who we are; be it in terms of our physical shape and weight (facial features, physical attributes, etc) or some “thing” about ourselves that we perceive as our individual shortcomings or the less “pretty” parts of ourselves. Whatever it is, we all need to stop and evolve beyond these destructive tendencies. Which leads me to my next rant-bullying! I remember, many moons ago (*air quotes*), when bullying amongst girls was not the norm (or maybe that’s just in my head). While it did in fact occur, it was far from pervasive. Fast forward to 2017, and I’m slapped into the present by an act of bullying that has hit close to home. What happened? A family member (young girl) has recently been forced to deal with bullying from a group of girls at her school stemming from “someone” else’s (a former friend and classmate) insecurities and petty jealousy!

 

I won’t go into details but suffice it to say, it was “mean girls” on steroids; nothing funny about that at all. As an adult I get it: insecure, inadequate, immature women (and some adults in general) have a tendency to lash out or project their problems onto the closest target, usually manifesting itself in bullying or some other destructive behavior ( at least that’s been my observation). If there is one thing we really need to outgrow as females (of any age), it’s turning on one another, comparing (and finding deficiencies or inadequacies, etc) ourselves to other women, and trying to fit ourselves into mainstream media’s warped image of the “perfect” female!

I truly believe that if  (or most) mothers and fathers out there, taught their daughters to value themselves based on what they carried within (as well as the beauty contained embodied in their uniqueness), rather than what’s on the outside, women, and girls would find it much easier to be true friends and colleagues, rather than predator vs. prey, mean girl vs. the nerd, same vs. other. I guess I’m just disappointed to see that we still allow ourselves to be victimized and manipulated by both the media society as we struggle to find ourselves even as we stare blankly at the girl in the mirror…I’m still hopeful that in the end, we (women and girls) will finally get a clue and realize that we are own worst enemy.

 

Tonye Tariah

Tonye Tariah

Freedom At The Crossroads Founder

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.