Archives 2019

One of the most striking features about “Unleashing Her Wild”  is the level of discomfort and raw truth you experience within these pages. Each story draws you into experience life-changing events for each of these women. I cried and I got angry.  In some instances, I was triggered by some aspects of this book. 

A book every woman needs to read!

We, women, know, and yet many of us remain silent. “Unleashing Her Wild” is both a challenge and manifesto for women everywhere, to embrace their true selves. It is a call to own our imperfections, and reclaim our feminine power. While it may not have all the answers, “Unleashing Her Wild” asks us to look inside and make the choice. Are we going to be brave? Are we going to be brave enough to not allow ourselves to be forced into conformity and caricatures of who we are as both women and humans?

Who we are as  women when we “Unleash” our inner wild woman

We are human but our power is in embracing our own feminine energies. In it, we recognize that while it is different than the masculine force, it is in no way inferior or lacking in its ability to effect change.  It’s feminine, it’s beautiful, and it’s divine!  Unleashing Her Wild is a great collection of stories told by women walking separate and unique paths who are sharing their collective ancestral wisdom and experiences with us all.

You can snag your copy from my virtual bookshelf right here!

A Closer Look at Unleashing Her Wild

I won’t give away the goodies here, but I will highlight just a few of those stories that resonated with me on a deeper level. In the first chapter entitled, “The Remembering” (by Donna Tack), I  was deeply moved.  Her story took me through an almost “shamanistic” journey in which I saw her move from the darkest places of her being to one of revelation, awakening, and empowerment. “Remembering” resonated with me because I found similarities between her story and my own. It is something I know to be true for a majority of the stories in this collection.

Next must-read

In “We Always Get A Choice” (by Michelle Arnold), her story was equally poignant and raw. I found myself near tears as I read the struggle in her journey; my heart growing tight with both pain and hope as I connected with her experiences. All of these women candidly share their vulnerabilities, sharp edges, and victories along the path to true awakening and empowerment-oh, those “choices” she had to make!

Another captivating chapter in Unleashing Her Wild is called “Color Outside The Line” (by Kiki Carr). In it, she shares her struggle to break free from and victory over socio-cultural perceptions (aka, other people’s expectations, etc), self-worth, and discovering what it means to truly be “wild”, authentic and grounded in her own power.

A powerful and evocative retelling of life experience as a pathway to growth

These are just a few of the life-changing stories within the pages of this book, but all have the power to change and transform each of our lives in a meaningful way. All in all, there are a total of ten chapters with each story weaving and connecting with one another under the umbrella of a single unifying theme. This divine feminine energy cocreates with us. With it we are tapping into our intuition, our experiences, and ultimately empowering us to rise into who we were always meant to be.

My Final Thoughts on “Unleashing Her Wild”

Each woman’s story calls us to be brave, to break the silence, and throw off the shackles of “other people’s expectations”. We also need to be our authentic selves without fear. Ultimately, what I gained here was a sense of sisterhood. I left with hope and a birds-eye-view of what happens when you embark on a journey of healing and empowerment.  Needless to say, there is power and freedom in self-discovery when added to a growth mindset!

I talk about these topics and more, in two of my articles at HuffPost’s Thrive Global online magazine right here and here! Also, share your thoughts on women’s self-care in the context of self-worth in an earlier post this year.

About the author

Tonye Tariah is a Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits. She believes that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. Meaning, she helps each woman in a  way that is unique to her needs. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. It’s not about helping you lose weight quickly. Her process is about changing habits and helping women fall in love with themselves so they can be both healthy and fulfilled!

My go-to meal on the go!

We all know that we should eat better to live better! But when you’re busy and running around trying to check off all of your to-dos, the quality of the food you put into your “temple”, tends to suffer. I’ve found that a nutrient-dense superfood smoothie is a perfect antidote!

When it comes to making the most out of one meal, I’ve got this one beat! I came up with the ultimate superfood smoothie recipe, out of necessity. Working in healthcare is very stressful and truly is a labor of love. But when it comes to your own self-care, it’s far too easy to neglect your own needs. This is especially true as you tend to those who are sick and require your care. My goal was simple. Pack the most beneficial and powerful nutrients into a simple dense packet that can be quickly consumed on the go!

I did my research, found some of the most powerful superfoods needed to combat a high-stress and high-intensity lifestyle on the go, and tastes good! Voila! A powerhouse-nutrient dense superfood smoothie on the go folks! It tastes good, makes you feel rejuvenated, and helps bring those “fight-or-flight” hormones back into alignment.

For your ultimate superfood smoothie, you will need:

1. 1/3 tsp of ashwagandha root powder.
2. 1/2 Tsp of Moringa oleifera leaf powder
3. 1 level tsp of spirulina
4. 1 tsp (or 5grams) of Dr. Mercola’s fermented beet powder
5. 1/3 teaspoon of cinnamon
6. 1/2 teaspoon of turmeric powder
7. 1/2 cup frozen or fresh organic berry medley ( also available at trader joe’s)
8. 8 fluid oz (or 29.57 grams) of almond milk

You can also make this smoothie the day before. I usually just blend the dry ingredients into my smoothie before I dash out at the start of my day.

Here are some of the benefits of the main ingredient in my ultimate superfood smoothie:

1. Ashwagandha-  known to be a highly prized, adaptogenic super root, used frequently in Ayurvedic medicine to increase vitality, relieve stress, and boost brain and cognitive function.
2. Moringa oleifera leaf powder- the miracle leaf rich in calcium, iron, potassium, and vitamin A as well as all the essential amino acids (comparable to wheatgrass, spiraling and chlorella. It’s also high in protein, vitamin A, calcium, and essential amino acids).
3. Spirulina- has the highest protein and beta carotene levels of all green superfoods and also has naturally occurring GLA ( Gamma Linolenic Acid), a popular fatty acid with numerous health benefits.
4. Turmeric- Is known to be an anti-inflammatory powerhouse.

These are just a few of the benefits of incorporating a superfood smoothie into your daily selfcare routine! Also, if you want to find out more about the benefits of these and other spices, check out my recipe for anti-inflammatory detox beverage and more right here!

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quickly. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

Why Selfcare is difficult for women

I know how difficult it is to find time to actually practice self-care. Like most women around the world, each day is usually a constant balancing act of taking care of other people, their expectations, and a whole slew of obligations! Regardless of what corner of the world we live in, selfcare is difficult for women to varying degrees.

The daily reality for the average woman

There are few women in the real world, who can say they are always able to make time for their self-care needs and without the guilt and burden of constantly trying to live up to the expectations of others (including society). For every woman that has struggled to break free from that cycle of guilt around making time for their own self-care and their needs in general, it really is “all in your head!”.  Yes, selfcare is difficult for women-especially if you’re trying to first meet the needs and expectations of other people, etc.

What selfcare is not

Let’s be clear, doing for both family and community is something we should all aspire to but that is not to say that one should neglect one’s own wellbeing. Historically, women have had to choose between their own self-care and the needs of others. That’s in addition to the demands made by society and culture.

A bit of history about the self-care movement 

The self-care movement was birthed during the anti-war and civil rights movements. It has it’s origins in the medical sphere as both physicians and academicians were looking at strategies to mitigate the effects of high-stress work environments on healthcare workers. Later on, it transformed into a broader movement as it became politicized during the civil rights and women’s movement of the ’60s and early ’70s.

With that in mind here are a few quick tips to help you begin to break the cycle

1. Start saying “NO”! I know it sounds easy, but I also know how difficult it is to do this when you have been conditioned and silenced by society for so long. Like most women, I put my needs, desires, and health far below that of family and other obligations. I also watched women in my family and lineage suffer the same fate. Experience has shown me that the only way to break the cycle is to start with the word “NO”.  Believe it or not, this one word contains a lot of power and has the effect of shaking up the status quo and activates a place in your core that has long been silent and ineffectual.

2. Know what it means to have boundaries and create them (if you don’t know).  It starts with self-discovery and identifying what is in alignment with your inner self versus what is in violation of those core beliefs and or elements.

3. Stop asking for permission to self-care. Again, sounds pretty straight forward but it will surprise you to find out how much resistance you encounter when you begin to assert yourself and enforce your boundaries!

4. Take ownership of your entire self (i.e. self-acceptance) including the good, the bad and the ugly. After all, if you don’t accept yourself, you can not expect anyone else to do so either.

What you can expect on this journey:

As I mentioned earlier, be prepared for some push-back when you begin to use your voice and as you put your boundaries in place. That being said, the freedom and level of transformation are more than worth it!

What you will gain this journey:

One of the most meaningful gains from this process is empowerment. Freedom from self-sabotage and servitude to other people’s expectations is no small accomplishment. Especially when it means regaining your power and ability to speak your truth without the fear of being judged or shamed into silence. Click this link to find out more about how to break the cycle of O.P.E!

Before you go

At the end of the day, if you don’t value your health and wellbeing, no one else will. That’s the harsh truth of the matter. If you’re struggling to come up with good selfcare ideas in the midst of this global “lockdown, read  “14 Ways To Love Yourself 365 Days A Year”14 Ways To Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

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Are you an undomesticated woman?

Do you know what the word domesticated means? I mean as it pertains to the human female? I didn’t think so! For the feminist amongst you, you’ve probably got a good idea; but for the rest-get ready to blow your mind!

Let’s start with the basics: 

In simple terms, domesticated is defined as “(of animals or plants) brought under human control in order to provide food, power, or company” (Cambridge online dictionary).

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Don’t get it twisted! This is not about male bashing or some weird version of extreme feminism! This is about reclaiming your power. It’s literally throwing off centuries of martyrdom on the altar of socio-cultural expectations and dominance.

Here’s what I mean:

The other day while I browsed the “pages” of the internet in search of some research material, I came across a disturbing publication. Maybe it was all in fun or simply an attempt at notoriety? Trying to go viral? Needless to say, that one fell flat (you can read the article here). There is nothing funny about using terms like “superior/supreme” in the context of describing a particular group and or culture.

Now, let’s back to my rant!

Men who cling to their ”privileged patriarchy” are far from extinct and continue to search out their victims even in the digital age. The same narrow-mindedness, stereotypes with underlying misogyny are alive and well. The upside of this is that women all over the world are beginning to wake up and are no longer allowing their voices to be silenced. 

Empowerment and protest movements such as #MeToo, Self-love, and Self-care are helping women to reclaim their power as well as breakdown the distorted and destructive perception of self, to which so many have been programmed and conditioned.

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So let’s talk:

Being or becoming an undomesticated woman has nothing to do with, cooking, cleaning or running a household. To be clear, this is something every individual should do regardless of gender role or sex. Furthermore, there is nothing in the biology of the feminine form that suggests being female means that the “household” is your domain.

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So what’s the difference between a “domesticated” and an “undomesticated” woman? 

Before we get to that, let me share an insightful little nugget from Louise Hay in which she states:

“All women, including you and me, have been shamed and blamed since childhood. We have been programmed by our parents and by society to think and behave in a certain way- to be women, with all the rules, regulations, and frustrations that come with being a woman. Some are content to play that role but most of us are not” (Empowering Women).

I think that say’s it all in a nutshell. but, for those who need me to spell it out, here goes: she is-

1. An undomesticated woman is self-assured.
2. An undomesticated is self-confident.
3. loves herself.
4. competes only with the best version of herself.
5. gives from a place of abundance (love, prosperity, wisdom, knowledge, service, etc).
6. has well-defined boundaries and enforces them.
7. is not perfect and embraces her imperfections.
8. She is unique-there is no one like her (i.e. she is an original).
9. forgives herself.
10. She forgives others.
11. has no guilt when she gives space to her self-care.
12. Is messy-(real and unrestrained).
13. does not seek validation outside of herself.

There’s more to this list but I’ve saved the rest for my latest podcast episode!

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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