Category Life Balance

One of the most striking features about “Unleashing Her Wild”  is the level of discomfort and raw truth you experience within these pages. Each story draws you into experience life-changing events for each of these women. I cried and I got angry.  In some instances, I was triggered by some aspects of this book. 

A book every woman needs to read!

We, women, know, and yet many of us remain silent. “Unleashing Her Wild” is both a challenge and manifesto for women everywhere, to embrace their true selves. It is a call to own our imperfections, and reclaim our feminine power. While it may not have all the answers, “Unleashing Her Wild” asks us to look inside and make the choice. Are we going to be brave? Are we going to be brave enough to not allow ourselves to be forced into conformity and caricatures of who we are as both women and humans?

Who we are as  women when we “Unleash” our inner wild woman

We are human but our power is in embracing our own feminine energies. In it, we recognize that while it is different than the masculine force, it is in no way inferior or lacking in its ability to effect change.  It’s feminine, it’s beautiful, and it’s divine!  Unleashing Her Wild is a great collection of stories told by women walking separate and unique paths who are sharing their collective ancestral wisdom and experiences with us all.

You can snag your copy from my virtual bookshelf right here!

A Closer Look at Unleashing Her Wild

I won’t give away the goodies here, but I will highlight just a few of those stories that resonated with me on a deeper level. In the first chapter entitled, “The Remembering” (by Donna Tack), I  was deeply moved.  Her story took me through an almost “shamanistic” journey in which I saw her move from the darkest places of her being to one of revelation, awakening, and empowerment. “Remembering” resonated with me because I found similarities between her story and my own. It is something I know to be true for a majority of the stories in this collection.

Next must-read

In “We Always Get A Choice” (by Michelle Arnold), her story was equally poignant and raw. I found myself near tears as I read the struggle in her journey; my heart growing tight with both pain and hope as I connected with her experiences. All of these women candidly share their vulnerabilities, sharp edges, and victories along the path to true awakening and empowerment-oh, those “choices” she had to make!

Another captivating chapter in Unleashing Her Wild is called “Color Outside The Line” (by Kiki Carr). In it, she shares her struggle to break free from and victory over socio-cultural perceptions (aka, other people’s expectations, etc), self-worth, and discovering what it means to truly be “wild”, authentic and grounded in her own power.

A powerful and evocative retelling of life experience as a pathway to growth

These are just a few of the life-changing stories within the pages of this book, but all have the power to change and transform each of our lives in a meaningful way. All in all, there are a total of ten chapters with each story weaving and connecting with one another under the umbrella of a single unifying theme. This divine feminine energy cocreates with us. With it we are tapping into our intuition, our experiences, and ultimately empowering us to rise into who we were always meant to be.

My Final Thoughts on “Unleashing Her Wild”

Each woman’s story calls us to be brave, to break the silence, and throw off the shackles of “other people’s expectations”. We also need to be our authentic selves without fear. Ultimately, what I gained here was a sense of sisterhood. I left with hope and a birds-eye-view of what happens when you embark on a journey of healing and empowerment.  Needless to say, there is power and freedom in self-discovery when added to a growth mindset!

I talk about these topics and more, in two of my articles at HuffPost’s Thrive Global online magazine right here and here! Also, share your thoughts on women’s self-care in the context of self-worth in an earlier post this year.

About the author

Tonye Tariah is a Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits. She believes that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. Meaning, she helps each woman in a  way that is unique to her needs. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. It’s not about helping you lose weight quickly. Her process is about changing habits and helping women fall in love with themselves so they can be both healthy and fulfilled!

Why Selfcare is difficult for women

I know how difficult it is to find time to actually practice self-care. Like most women around the world, each day is usually a constant balancing act of taking care of other people, their expectations, and a whole slew of obligations! Regardless of what corner of the world we live in, selfcare is difficult for women to varying degrees.

The daily reality for the average woman

There are few women in the real world, who can say they are always able to make time for their self-care needs and without the guilt and burden of constantly trying to live up to the expectations of others (including society). For every woman that has struggled to break free from that cycle of guilt around making time for their own self-care and their needs in general, it really is “all in your head!”.  Yes, selfcare is difficult for women-especially if you’re trying to first meet the needs and expectations of other people, etc.

What selfcare is not

Let’s be clear, doing for both family and community is something we should all aspire to but that is not to say that one should neglect one’s own wellbeing. Historically, women have had to choose between their own self-care and the needs of others. That’s in addition to the demands made by society and culture.

A bit of history about the self-care movement 

The self-care movement was birthed during the anti-war and civil rights movements. It has it’s origins in the medical sphere as both physicians and academicians were looking at strategies to mitigate the effects of high-stress work environments on healthcare workers. Later on, it transformed into a broader movement as it became politicized during the civil rights and women’s movement of the ’60s and early ’70s.

With that in mind here are a few quick tips to help you begin to break the cycle

1. Start saying “NO”! I know it sounds easy, but I also know how difficult it is to do this when you have been conditioned and silenced by society for so long. Like most women, I put my needs, desires, and health far below that of family and other obligations. I also watched women in my family and lineage suffer the same fate. Experience has shown me that the only way to break the cycle is to start with the word “NO”.  Believe it or not, this one word contains a lot of power and has the effect of shaking up the status quo and activates a place in your core that has long been silent and ineffectual.

2. Know what it means to have boundaries and create them (if you don’t know).  It starts with self-discovery and identifying what is in alignment with your inner self versus what is in violation of those core beliefs and or elements.

3. Stop asking for permission to self-care. Again, sounds pretty straight forward but it will surprise you to find out how much resistance you encounter when you begin to assert yourself and enforce your boundaries!

4. Take ownership of your entire self (i.e. self-acceptance) including the good, the bad and the ugly. After all, if you don’t accept yourself, you can not expect anyone else to do so either.

What you can expect on this journey:

As I mentioned earlier, be prepared for some push-back when you begin to use your voice and as you put your boundaries in place. That being said, the freedom and level of transformation are more than worth it!

What you will gain this journey:

One of the most meaningful gains from this process is empowerment. Freedom from self-sabotage and servitude to other people’s expectations is no small accomplishment. Especially when it means regaining your power and ability to speak your truth without the fear of being judged or shamed into silence. Click this link to find out more about how to break the cycle of O.P.E!

Before you go

At the end of the day, if you don’t value your health and wellbeing, no one else will. That’s the harsh truth of the matter. If you’re struggling to come up with good selfcare ideas in the midst of this global “lockdown, read  “14 Ways To Love Yourself 365 Days A Year”14 Ways To Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

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If you’ve ever felt like life seems to be passing you by, you’re still figuring out who you are, haven’t hit your “sweet spot” yet or fully come into your own, guess what? You are not alone! You might just be, a “late bloomer”!

We all travel different paths in this life and while there may be some points of intersection along the way, we are unique and our paths tend to reflect that truth.

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So you’re wondering if you too are a late bloomer? You’ve come to right place to help you figure that out!There is nothing overly dramatic or mysterious about being a late bloomer. As a child, I often wondered why I seemed to be out of step with my peers and or felt like my path led in a different direction. No, I didn’t have some monumental epiphany; I slowly grew into an awareness of myself, the unique space I held and finally, acceptance that I was a late bloomer!

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With that in mind here are a few quick clues:

1. You feel out of sync with your peers! Have you ever felt like you were on the outside looking in? Slightly out of phase with those around you or your “peer group”? If your answer is yes to any of this, chances are that you’re a late bloomer. I’ve often found that any or all of these “feelings” or sense is the recognition that I’ve yet to fully come into my own maturation at a particular point in time.

2. Your body hasn’t caught up with your mind! In other words, I’m speaking to another aspect of being out of sync with the rest of the world. This includes everything from the physical (i.e. you don’t look your age) to other areas of your life such as marital state, professional positioning, etc.

3. You’re “just” beginning to hit your peak in your life! Unlike your peers or the rest of the world, you intuit the fact that there’s “more” awaiting you; that something transformative is about to take place in your life that will cause a significant shift from the inside out.

Like most things in life, there are no quick and dirty rules for growth or advancements on this journey. One thing we can be sure of is that each of us must strive to avoid comparing ourselves to other people and focus on our unique individual gifts, talents, and paths. Also, being a late bloomer does not translate into resting on our laurels or procrastinating and waiting for life to just happen to us, rather we must choose to live and take action!

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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We all know exercise is good for us but most of us either don’t get enough of it or none at all! At the start of every new year or season, gyms are flooded with people hoping to lose weight and get healthy. The sad truth is that more than 80% of those who start a gym membership stop going (i.e. get discouraged, etc) and fail to meet those fitness and weight loss goals!

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At the risk of being bombarded with emails to the contrary, I stand by this statement (plus, I do have the facts to back this up!). I spent several fruitless and frustrating years and yes money, on a gym membership hoping to lose the extra pounds around my waistline as well to get on track with my fitness and health. Like any other sane individual, I eventually got tired of spinning my wheels on that particular hamster wheel going nowhere and came to the realization that, I had been pedaled a load of hog wash by good marketing, old-school celebrity trainers and a sometimes well-meaning media that often miseducates rather than inform!

For a while, I faithfully went to the gym, attended group classes with ambitious names (extreme kickboxing, power yoga, etc) and even signed up for private sessions with a personal trainer. By the end of few weeks, I was frustrated, sore, and burned out without any real results. I knew I couldn’t expect overnight progress, but I should have felt more energized and balanced; the opposite was the case! Instead of feeling enthusiastic, energized and more in tune with both my mind and body, I felt like a failure and working out was becoming a real chore! I had personal trainers telling me to sign up for more sessions, take this or that “supplement” and “rinse and repeat”!

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Okay, I told myself. Enough is enough and I’m done with the crazy gimmicky, one-trick pony approach to trying to make change happen! After several failed attempts at the gym (I know, going to the gym works for some people, but it’s not for everyone) I decided to become my own advocate and solution bringer. I actually asked myself some hard questions, looked in the mirror and took the steps I needed to effect those necessary life changes, by educating myself about fitness and health in a way that  made sense for not just me but would make sense to the average busy woman out there who was also tired of “cookie-cutter” approaches that are nothing more than a source of frustration and failure!

I was done with allowing the media and marketing to dictate my health rather than providing true and sustainable solutions to real health concerns. What ultimately led to my transformation was an actual internal shift in mindset that radiated outward into all areas of my life; an approach to my personal health by making a much-needed shift in mind-body engagement. Few people in the fitness industry will tell you that real fitness and health, begins in the mind and is sustained by making that mind-body connection that works from the inside out. Boom! So simple and yet so complex; but once you get it, you’re unstoppable and well on your way to a healthier version of you!

Now for all of those people who are still stumbling along in the dark; get off the crazy train start your journey by asking yourself the following questions:

1. What do I want my life to look like?
2. What do I see when I look in the mirror
3. Am I healthy enough to get there?
4. Am I worth it?

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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Over last few weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotions. I have experienced creative highs as well as some dark days filled with sorrow. Nevertheless, I must express my heart today. I am beyond thankful and humbled by all the outpouring of support and engagement that has been directed towards me and my blog space. How do you define a moment when you achieve a major milestone in your life or a pivotal moment along the course of your journey?

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I feel vindicated and freed by my commitment to be authentic and real with everyone who visits and engages with me in this space. While it hasn’t been all sweetness and roses (but really, when is that ever the case in life?), I say thank you.  Sometimes we fail to see the impact we have on the lives around us, but it is real and makes a difference. My dream and passion have always been to impact as many lives as possible in this world. A life of purpose and passion will always cultivate growth and so I say, please accept my thanks and gratitude for blessing this space with your diversity of thought and discourse.

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The growth of this site is a testament to the authenticity and diversity of thought and discourse! Through thoughtful and humane engagement with my fellow global citizens, I continue to press forward to creating and maintaining a space where growth, mindfulness, and life lived to the fullest is encouraged. May your journey be one of growth, power, and fulfillment as you allow yourself to get comfortable with being uncomfortable!

Blessings,

T.I.B.👣

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”Row” _builder_version=”3.0.51″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_team_member admin_label=”Author Bio” _builder_version=”3.0.51″ name=”Tonye Tariah” position=”Freedom At The Crossroads Founder” facebook_url=”https://www.facebook.com/TonyeTariahHealthStrategist/” twitter_url=”https://twitter.com/fit_and_fab2″ image_url=”http://freedomatthecrossroads.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/16403040_732883533553339_4010103490960637755_o.jpg” background_layout=”light” border_style=”solid” animation=”off” saved_tabs=”all”]

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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We all know how expensive groceries can become especially when you move between seasons or making a huge shift in how you feed yourself and your family. Having some quick and easy food storage tips can go along way towards saving your budget and eating healthy too!

Making healthy nutritional choices doesn’t have to break the bank nor does it have to become an overwhelming experience. While you might think you’re saving money (i.e. buying processed foods instead of fresh produce, etc) by not buying organic and locally sourced produce (get my FREE quick and easy grocery guide for the EWG recommendations for produce in 2017), or stocking up on frozen meals, the truth is that the hidden health costs associated with these types of low quality “foods” are extremely high.

(get the updated EWG recommendations for the current year right here)

Why I use the recommendations from the Environmental Working Group

Don’t be deceived by marketing gimmicks and misinformation campaigns promoted by both big agribusiness and the processed food industry. Food labels matter and so do the methods of food production. Foods that have been cultivated using conventional means (i.e. large-scale pesticide and herbicide use, etc) are much more likely to contain damaging levels of these residues. We as consumers can not rely on these industries to “self-regulate” as their track records have shown them to be less than honest when it comes to putting consumer safety and health above their stock portfolios.

The reality is this: what food you put in your mouth will either poison or nourish your body, depending on where it comes from. If it comes from a country with no or poorly standardized food safety requirements (i.e. mercury levels in fish, pesticide use in produce, additives in frozen, processed, and or packaged foods, etc), YOU need to SERIOUSLY rethink your food choices!!

Feeding your family with safe nutritious foods means you must adopt a sustainable way of accessing the right foods for your table. In practical terms, that means finding ways to minimize waste and unnecessary costs due to spoilage and improper food storage. These quick and easy food storage tips are just the tip of the ice burg when it comes to saving money! This is why it’s so necessary to have quick and easy food storage tips and tricks handy!

Some quick  and easy tips:

1. Well-hydrated herbs will last longer and be less likely to spoil when you store them properly. Fresh herbs, like basil, asparagus, and green onions will last a good while if you store them upright in a jar of freshwater. Simply trim the stems, cover them with a piece of plastic wrap, and place them in the refrigerator for storage and use as needed.

2.  Not all fruits and veggies require refrigeration and in some instances, refrigeration affects the taste quality of some fruits and vegetables. For instance, avocados (yes, technically it’s a fruit because it has a seed y’all), citrus, bananas, nectarines, pears, peaches, onions, tomatoes, and potatoes do best outside of your fridge at room temperature or in your pantry. A quick warning though; don’t store onions and potatoes together due to the ethylene gas which can cause them to spoil each other faster.

More tips for storing fruits and veggies

3. I’ve been doing this for years ( thanks, momma), but did you know it really helps when you wrap your greens in paper towels. They’re great at preventing slimy residue from accumulating and making a science experiment in your bag of lettuce, spinach, or other leafy greens. Simply use paper towels to soak up excess moisture and lightly wrap your green in a few paper towels. This also works for leftover salad greens in food storage containers (minus the salad dressing of course).

4. Did you know wrapping your bunches of celery in foil helps it stay fresh and crunchy for up to as much as four weeks?  Yep, wrapping it up in foil and then placing it in your fridge’s crisper drawer will help extend the life of your celery. The foil does this by allowing just the right amount of moisture in, and the ethylene gas out.

5. Stop! Don’t wash all your produce at once. I know it’s counter-intuitive but it’s much better to wash your produce as you go if you want to maximize its shelf life. Unless you plan on freezing your food, you should only be washing things you’re ready to eat right away or soon after. This will reduce the chances of mold growing on damp produce.

Storing your fruits

6. Cover the crown of your bunches of bananas with plastic wrap. It helps to slow the release of that ethylene gas which is the meany responsible for breaking (the natural process that causes your product to spoil) down one of my go-to mid-morning snacks. This is a good way to preserve your bananas if you’re not going to eat them right away.

7.  Another “who’d a thunk it?” If you want to keep those berries mold-free, soak them in vinegar. If you’re not going to consume them all at once, simply quick soak your berries in a solution of three parts water, one part vinegar in order to kill bacteria and prevent molding. Once you’ve done that, give the berries a thorough pat dry and store in the fridge.

Preserving fruits and veggies

8. Another great time saver and a great way to preserve your veggies to simply roast them prior to storage. By roasting vegetables such as broccoli and cauliflower,  you can extend their shelf life. Not only that, but it’s also a great meal prep tip to have cooked veggies on hand that you can quickly incorporate into any meal.

9. Fresh fruits like apricots, peaches, apples, and bananas are great for turning into dry snacks! This is one of my favorite quick and easy food storage tips because you can do this in your oven. For more on how to dry fruits in your oven read my post on “Quick and Easy Homemade Dried Fruit Treats”.

Meats and dairy storage ideas

10. Store dairy products at the back of the fridge. While it may make for easy access, keeping your milk at the front of the fridge makes it more prone to spoilage due to temperature differences. This is because the back of the fridge is colder and will, therefore, give your dairy products are longer shelf life.

11. Put your meats on the bottom shelf so that their juices don’t drip on other food items (i.e. produce, etc) and contaminate them. If space is an issue, place your meat products on a tray or inside a leak-proof container in order to catch any drippings. Better yet, prep and package your meats into manageable portions (i.e. serving sizes for soups, meals, etc) and store them in the freezer until you’re ready to cook your meals. Also, separate lunch meats from raw meats in order to prevent illness associated with cross-contamination.

Storing grains and other dry goods

12. I can’t say this enough! Store grains in air-tight containers!! While buying in bulk is a great way to save money when grocery shopping, you want to make sure that you store it correctly so the extra food doesn’t go to waste. It’s critical that you make sure to transfer your grains into an airtight container to maintain freshness and to keep out pests. Do yourself a favor by labeling your containers with the purchase dates so you’re able to keep track of expiration dates and avoid wasting stored foods.

13.  For those grains, you don’t use often, keep them in the freezer for up to six months. I like to use tough airtight BPA-free plastic or freezer-safe glass storage containers. Also, rice stores well for up to a year if you keep it in an airtight container in your pantry.

A note about your refrigerator temperatures

14. Always Double-check your fridge’s temperature especially as the seasons’ change (i.e. summer vs. winter months). You want to make sure that your fridge is set at the correct temperature and that your thermostat is in proper working order to prevent spoilage and reduce the risk of food born illnesses. The recommended temperature is 40 degrees Fahrenheit or 5 degrees Celsius for those of you who are using the mks measurement system.

Before you go

Setting up a pantry for the first time can seem like a real chore. But, when you realize how much money you can save with adopting just a few quick and easy food storage tips, you’ll be amazed! Plus, organizing your pantry is a good way to literally “detox” your fridge and pantry. Use it as an opportunity to swap out unhealthy foods for cheap and healthy alternatives!

If you’re still not sure where to begin, grab my FREE Pantry Detox Gude GUIDE HERE

You can also get the complete Introductory Produce, Shopping Guide grab a copy HERE!!

My kitchen favorites

Having the right kitchen gadgets can save you a lot of money too! Invest in good “tools” and they’ll go a long way to saving you money and keep food prep hassle-free. You can go to my “Kitchen Favorites” page for some great ideas!

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

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I never thought I’d suffer a loss like this a second time in my own family. We always think that we have more time; that there’ll be another tomorrow to say I love you to those who mean the most to your heart. I’m so angry and filled with hurt at the fact that yet again, I find myself in this position! What makes it worse is the fact that it was so unexpected and brutal in its finality. No “goodbye”, “I love you”, or even that simple hug that I often took for granted.

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While I know I’m not the only one who has suffered multiple losses, I feel like no one “gets” what I’m feeling right now. All those little reminders around the house; the trinkets, the things left undone, they’re all just there!! Yeah, this is all part of the healing process but this time around it’s so much more difficult to accept and deal with.  This is part of my therapy; to try and make sense of something that is extremely difficult to accept and explain; especially to the younger ones who have been left behind.

Today this is my reality. Even in my capacity as a health strategist, I can appreciate the irony of it all; no warning, simply a multitasking woman on the go and then, BAAM! Just gone! For anyone else who has experienced such a loss, I know your pain. For the rest? Even when you do everything right in terms of your fitness and health, bad things can still happen. My therapy is making sure no more women die because they took on too much and received too little for themselves!

If I succeed in nothing else it’s this, there IS NEVER a good enough excuse to put your health and fitness at the bottom of your list of priorities because you’re simply multiplying the risk of something catastrophic happening to your own health. That’s one lesson I can share with you in the midst of my struggle as one who is left with the aftermath.

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_image admin_label=”Offering/ Lead Magnet Goes Here” _builder_version=”3.0.51″ src=”http://freedomatthecrossroads.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Grab-Your-Pantry-Detox-Guide-As-A-GIFT-From-Us.jpg” show_in_lightbox=”off” url=”https://tonye-tariah-health-fitness.teachable.com/p/detox-pantry-guide” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”off” sticky=”off” align=”center” always_center_on_mobile=”on” border_style=”solid” force_fullwidth=”off” /][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”Row” _builder_version=”3.0.51″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_team_member admin_label=”Author Bio” _builder_version=”3.0.51″ name=”Tonye Tariah” position=”Freedom At The Crossroads Founder” facebook_url=”https://www.facebook.com/TonyeTariahHealthStrategist/” twitter_url=”https://twitter.com/fit_and_fab2″ image_url=”http://freedomatthecrossroads.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/16403040_732883533553339_4010103490960637755_o.jpg” background_layout=”light” border_style=”solid” animation=”off” saved_tabs=”all”]

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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The sun is shining, the temperature is rising and it’s time to switch up your skincare regime for a new season. We all have a tendency to lose track of the fact that our skin is an organ that requires a lot of care and in some instances, it too needs a good detox!

In addition to good nutrition and exercise, you can’t escape the fact that it’s also necessary to adopt a skincare regime that is tailored to your own skin type. You also need to account for any skincare sensitivities or issues that are unique to your own biology. In other words, if you’ve got finicky skin, you need to find those products that work best for your particular skin type.

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Experience has shown me that the fewer ingredients present in your skincare products, the better off your skin will be in the long run. Avoid products with a ridiculously long list of ingredients as well as chemicals (i.e. talc, hydroquinone, butyl paraben, propyl paraben, etc) which can have long-term damaging effects on your body systems.

While most if not all of those listed above have been banned in Europe, the U.S. has been slow to make significant progress towards protecting consumers from potentially harmful (i.e. carcinogens, immune system disruptors, etc) chemicals lurking in our skincare products.

I always advocate knowing what’s in your food as well as what’s in your skincare products. Why? YOUR SKIN is an organ and what you put on its surface eventually makes its way into other areas of your body (i.e. other organs, etc). REMEMBER: Your skin has pores and it’s permeable, in other words, don’t put toxic crap on your skin because it will be transported to your blood stream, etc.

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So to recap; it’s not enough to exercise, eat healthy nutrient-dense foods, and incorporate mindfulness into your daily activities. You also need to ensure that you minimize your exposure to toxic and harmful chemicals in your environment. The best place to start is with your food and personal care items and work your way outwards in terms of laundry detergents, household cleaning products, etc.

If you’re not sure how or where to get started you can grab a FREE copy of my Pantry Detox Guide right HERE and start with what’s in your kitchen pantry and refrigerator!

My passion and commitment to women’s health and fitness is personal and built on my own experiences and training in healthcare, my personal journey as well as a personal tragedy! I don’t take this fight lightly because it truly is a matter of life or death; knowledge is power!

Take the journey with me to fitness, balance, and empowerment when you book your FREE 30 min clarity session with me right HERE:

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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Setting boundaries is something that is huge for me, moving into a new month! Lately, I find myself butting heads with the notion of setting boundaries versus barriers and knowing the difference between the two. Too often, we default to creating barriers to own success or growth out of fear or insecurity. We often deceive ourselves into thinking (and accepting) it was the former rather than the later.

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It’s never easy when you find you have to call yourself out on your own B.S., but there you go! Better to call it out at the onset than to find yourself stagnating in the quagmire of your own crap having missed on opportunities and life. So what’s the big deal? What does it even mean when we say, setting boundaries and not, barriers? First, let’s get the dictionary definition of “boundary” and “barrier” to get some clarity. According to the online edition of Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, “a boundary is something that shows where an area ends and another area begins; a point or limit that indicates where two things become different.”

Making the distinction between setting boundaries versus boundaries

On the other hand, a barrier is defined as “something that prevents or blocks movement from one place to another; a law, rule, problem, etc., that makes something difficult or impossible.” Some might ask, why the exercise in definitions that seem relatively self-explanatory? I say, there’s a lot to be learned here; namely, your mindset plays a huge role in how you relate to other people, things, and ultimately, your lifestyle. I say this because our mindset often determines whether or not we see an opportunity before us or an obstacle or barrier.

In the context of health and wellness, the notion of self-care is seen as either an opportunity for personal renewal and growth or an obstacle to one’s achieving the completion of a set of tasks, to-do lists, etc. In this setting, your health will ALWAYS be the loser when it’s stacked against that venerable to-do list which always seems to take priority over everything else in our lives. This list I might add, that we often hide behind out of fear, uncertainty, doubt or inadequacy (at least in our own minds). This is where the shift in mindset needs to come into play!

When you realize and accept that those “tasks, to-do’s”, etc, will always be there (yes people, that’s the cycle of life; nothing ever really stops until it ceases to exist so get used to it) you can release yourself from that false sense of control that you’ve allowed yourself to be imprisoned by. The truth is, your health and fitness are central to manifesting your vision for your life because without them (a.k.a mind-body-spirit in balance) there is little hope of seeing that through to fruition.

Balance as a central feature to setting boundaries

Balance is one of the central features of a fit and healthy lifestyle and that’s why I never stop stressing the centrality of this phenomena to my clients. If you want true and sustainable health (i.e. mind-body-spirit) bringing all aspects of yourself needs to be brought into alignment. If you’re already at the point of tapping out and saying “enough is enough and time to get off the hamster wheel going nowhere” then, welcome to the beginning of your journey to self-discovery, fitness, and health! Too many times we say we’re too “busy” to “indulge” in self-care but that’s merely a choice (yes, you always have a choice) to continue down a path that has no good end or resolution. Bottom line? Setting boundaries is crucial to your overall health and wellbeing.

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When you say you’re “busy” it actually means that you don’t have “time” to take care of yourself and the things that really matter (i.e. living a full and healthy life, etc). The truth is that you are merely existing and not living! When you are out of alignment on all levels (mind, body, spirit), that manifests as a breakdown in both your physical and mental health; illness and disease begin to impact the whole.

This is at the crux of what it means in setting boundaries vs. barriers. It means making space for self-care and nourishing your mind and body and separating those destructive elements or forces that will take you and your health out of alignment. Realizing that this is not “selfish” but a necessity and indicates a level of growth few are willing to work at achieving (but that’s another topic for discussion). As women, we are constantly pushed and pulled in several directions as we strive to live up to the  ideas of other people and society; the freedom and growth comes when we release ourselves from this when we get “comfortable with being uncomfortable” as we address those internal issues and wounds that we have allowed to fester.

Growth and healing are not always comfortable or easy; in fact, they often require a level of exposure and examination that make uncomfortable seem like a cake walk but it’s necessary if you want to achieve your authentic self. The other alternative? Continue to merely exist and remain a slave to your fears and perceptions of the outside world. What a choice huh? For more on this read “why it’s so hard for women to self-care” right here.

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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Every year, millions of women look forward to Valentine’s Day (at least in their heads) as a time to be appreciated, pampered and just fabulous! We start some new diet (usually accompanied by some unrealistic expectations, etc), renew our New Year’s resolutions, and sit back with bated breath as we wait to see what the universe will deliver on! As the days roll by, reality begins to creep in and the fake glitter of Valentine’s Day marketing fades away.

Fast forward to the middle of the month, and I’m wondering if we’re going to stick to our vision and commitment to a healthy lifestyle. January 2017 is long gone, February is long gone (with March a recent memory) and we are midway through April, but some of the same problems of 2016 are still at the forefront of our minds. While getting fit and healthy is the ultimate objective, too often we forget that this is a process, and with all of that comes a whole new set challenge. First of all, how do you stay motivated? Next, how do you stay focused (i.e. multitasking for work, family, etc) and find the time to get all of this done?

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It’s all about priorities and recognizing that your health (i.e. mind, body, soul) is central to your life. The bottom line is this: if YOU are not healthy it is very little you can do (from a standpoint of sustainability) in terms of meeting the needs of both yourself and your family. We live in an age where high stress, insufficient sleep, and poor diet are becoming the new normal, while at the same time, chronic illness, obesity, etc continue to rise. Add to that the issue of our unsustainable and corporatized healthcare system, and you have the makings of a perfect storm of everything that can go wrong!

My goal here is not to scare the crap out of anyone; it is simply to encourage us all to make our health the main priority, and recognize that health and balance are central to life. At the most basic level, balance is key to any sustainable system (our bodies included) and requires work and commitment in order to continue. In simple terms, you should not be living to work (i.e. job, career, etc) but working to live! In other words, your job or career should not overtake all other aspects of your life in the same way that your personal life should not overshadow your professional or public arena.

So how do you STILL fit in a healthy eating and fitness plan, restore balance to your life, etc? Well, you simply stick to the P.L.A.N. and remain focused on your goals (i.e. living a balanced and healthy lifestyle, etc). I’m not saying there are no challenges in maintaining your health and fitness goals, but it is more than possible to be aware of what you’re eating, finding and using your “me” time to work out (it’s also an excellent way to deal with stress), and staying balanced in all (or most) areas of your life. Experience has taught me that the best way to do this, is by taking a step back and finding joy in the little things; a crisp sunny Fall day, an invigorating walk along the trails, or simply enjoying a hot cup of tea or coffee on the front porch (backyard, on the veranda, in front of your balcony, etc).

For the everyday woman whose life is at the crossroads and who feels like she needs not just her health and fitness in balance, but life in general, I say, WELCOME! I have found that every woman is unique in terms of her story and her needs, especially at the “crossroads”.

Why? The answer is relatively simple. The needs of a woman who is already stressed, out of balance both physically and mentally (i.e. overweight, frustrated, overwhelmed) are different from one who has her career, obligations, and family on track etc, but just needs “some” help losing a few pounds and learning how to eat healthily!

The sad truth is that most of us women (especially if you haven’t seen 30 in a long while) struggle with a chaotic and unhealthy life, but rather than valuing ourselves enough to change it, we choose for one reason or another, to stay on that hamster wheel going nowhere!

We need to admit and own our truth when it comes to our relationship with food and by extension, how we relate and perceive ourselves as well as others. we seem to be ignorant of the fact that FOOD plays an important role in our lives and an important aspect of culture. I guess like so many other things in this high-tech age, this is just one more thing that has become lost in the matrix of” sameness” perpetuated by a media that serves itself rather than the welfare of society at large.

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I’m not saying we bear no responsibility for our own health, but I AM saying is that the media bears some responsibility in terms of pushing “unhealthy” images and ideas of what constitutes beauty, a “healthy weight”, “healthy” foods (i.e. so-called fat-free, zero calories) etc. Our current mainstream media has in large part become the mouthpiece of big Agri-business and corporations more interested in their bottomless than the wellbeing of society.

This is why I do what I do! I decided to get active and advocate for women’s health and to empower other women to fight back and reclaim their health, fitness. My goal is for women in my zone of influence to become knowledgeable about their food sources and equip them with the necessary tools to gain control of their health and nutrition. I’ll always remember these wise words of my mom, “knowledge is power” and “the gates of the school-house are still open”!

If You are tired of unhealthy crap being packaged and marketed to you as healthy, “low” in fat, etc, then get involved and educated about who controls your food- you are what you eat folks! The hard truth is that, if after all that hard work of getting fit and adopting a healthy lifestyle you’re still depending on big Agri-business and the fast food / packaged food industrial machine to give you good (derived from sustainably grown, mostly pesticide-free or organic) quality food, dream on. An educated public is an empowered one, and too often that empowerment is in conflict with the bottom line of these corporations.

So what do I do to cut out the crazy and NOT break the bank? I keep it simple. Stick to mostly seasonal produce, buy my produce from local farms, buy organic where necessary (avoid the “dirty dozen”) and get involved in a local or community farm if at all possible. At the end of the day, you and your family are worth the time and effort, believe me!

Check out my FREE PANTRY DETOX GUIDE to help you finally get your butt in gear because before you know it, summer will be here and then what!? SAME OLD same old!? NOT!

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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