Tag valentine’s day

A day for you

Every year we get excited and anxious over Valentine’s Day. Excited because spring is not far off and anxious because, a lot of us are looking to be coupled up! Too much emphasis is on “coupling” and not enough on selflove and selfworth. That’s why it’s also a perfect time to really hone in on self-nourishment and selfcare. So, here’s 5 Valentine’s Day Selfcare ideas to get you through the rest of February. Needless to say, selflove is not a one of but a practice we should carry 365 days a year.

Valentine’s Day

While we celebrate Valentine’s Day as a day for lovers, love and, romance the day itself, has its origins in both pagan and Christian beliefs. The Catholic Church recognises three saints named valentine. But it’s unclear who the actual Valentine was for which the day is named. Who ever it was, he was martyred and became a saint according to catholic tradition. In pagan tradition, it’s actually an offshoot of the feast of Lupercalia, an ancient roman pagan festival held on February 15.  While the modern version of Valentines Day is soft and romantic, Lupercalia was anything but! It was violent, bloody, full of animal sacrifice and rampant sex.

But, lets get back to the fun of today and the notion of love and connection. The greatest thing you can do for yourself this Valentine’s Day, is to love and treat yourself how you want to be treated. These 5 Valentine’s Day selfcare ideas are just a few of the many tips and strategies I practice for myself. Let’s face it. If you don’t learn how to love and appreciate yourself, how can you expect others to know this? Standards, boundaries, etc, are all established and depend on you and the way you perceive and value yourself.

The Valentine’s Day and self love connection

When it comes to self love and selfcare, your approach should be similar to how you view Valentine’s Day-a special time for love! Selfcare and self love are special and intimate practices we need to carry out on a daily basis for a healthy mind-body-spirit. Also, how you allow other people to treat you, says something about how you see yourself and the value you attach to yourself. Are you worthy of being treated with respect, compassion, love and consideration? If all of those things are true for you, then you will have no problem expecting others to treat accordingly.

Here are the 5 ideas for Valentine’s Day selfcare

1. Take yourself on a date.

2. Make a selfcare journal.

3. Give yourself a 24 hour social media and technology break.

4.  Reconnect with friends and loved ones.

5. shore up and recalibrate your boundaries.

More on these selfcare ideas

1. Taking yourself on a date is about intentionality and perception. Also, it’s an exercise  in learning to feel comfortable with your company and not worry about how other people see you. If you’re feeling super anxious and uncomfortable about going out to a restaurant, theatre, etc by yourself, that’s telling you something. It could be anything from being a people pleaser to someone who who needs other people to give herself value. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, forces you to go inwards to the place that need your attention (i.e. healing, etc).

2. Either buy a journal for selfcare or make one for yourself. There are so many ways to customise a journal and make yours for what ever you want. A selfcare journal is a great way to do a self check on a daily basis. Also, you can use it to track your progress in terms of personal growth, documenting things you want to address, and so forth. You can also pour out thoughts without feeling like you’re being judged and it’s literally a space that’s yours alone.

3. Take a 24 hour social media and technology break and stick to it. There’s so much noise and distraction from social media and all of our tech gadgets, that we lose touch with ourselves. Social media keeps us hooked on other people’s drama and lives.  Constantly dealing in to social media traps us in comparison and competition mode and disconnected from our own lives and reality. Very little of social media is actual reality and much of it negatively affects our mental health.

More on this

When you are always looking at other people’s lives you rarely appreciate or have any gratitude for how far you’ve come. When you take a break from this, you can focus on you, set goals for yourself and take stock of life in general. Unplugging for tech and social means you can get out into nature, connect with other humans in the real world and realise that the world is huge and full of great potential.

Some closing points

4. Reconnecting with friends and loved ones is super important for our mental health. Since humans are social beings, we need real human contact and connection, not scrolling through endless pages of social media. When we spend time talking and socialising with other people we can pour into and support one another. We can share stories and life events as well as gain counsel from trusted people in our social circles. This is also a great way to expand your social circle too, when you get out and about.

5. Finally, shore up your boundaries! Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for not just your mental health, but your overall well-being. It’s how you set the terms of how other people engage with you and how you honour yourself. This is also connected to your self worth and the stories you are telling yourself about yourself! If you struggle wit being a people pleaser, setting boundaries are really hard for you.  You can read more about that in a previous post, when you click right here!

Time for some me time

As I mentioned before, these 5 Valentine’s Day selfcare ideas are just a few of the many tips and strategies I use to stay aligned and healthy these days. None of it starts out easy, but investing in yourself with help of a coach, counsellor, etc is the first step. Selfcare is a journey that empowers to reclaim all aspects of your life-from your health and wellness, to your sense of self.  There’s so much time to get on the right track to transforming your life in a way that’s meaningful for you and will also allow you to reclaim your authentic self. Also, sign up with this link for a FREE 20 min clarity session to help get started on your self are journey!!

If we’re honest, we all love to get something special for Valentine’s Day! But, have you ever tried gifting yourself with some TLC?  My 14 Ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, flips the script on the usual! Nurture yourself and stop giving from an empty well. To help you get started, I’ve got an introductory list of 14 ways you can show yourself some much needed TLC!

Too many times, we women overlook our own needs and desires in order to tend to those around us. Experience has shown me that on those “special” days, I need to find meaningful ways to show myself some love, especially on Valentine’s Day. Self-sacrifice is a noble thought, but neglecting your own health and wellness will take you down an ugly path of dissatisfaction, poor health, and burnout.

Every year we find new ways to up our romantic game for Valentine’s Day and rarely put ourselves in the equation for some “self” love. Department stores, media outlets, and just about “everyone” out there is trying to sell you something to buy for someone else, as a token of your affection. But I say, how about YOU show yourself some love! Prove to yourself, that you matter. Show yourself that you are more than enough without needing someone else to validate your worth. 14 Ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, helps you do just that!

With that in mind, I’ve pulled together  helpful ways that you can show yourself some TLC. These 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day will help you shift the way you think about yourself as well as begin to set concrete standards (i.e. boundaries) for how you allow yourself to be treated. You can read more about shifting your mindset and ditching the guilt and self-sabotage in one of my earlier posts here.

Carving out space for loving yourself:

1. Screen your phone calls (keep conversations /interactions with disruptive people to a min, including family members-aka, boundaries)Pick your “yeses”- don’t say yes to everything or everyone; to avoid falling into the “superwoman” trap.
2. Eat mindfully-savor your food/meals, don’t rush through eating like a truck driver at a truck stop. It’s not healthy and it’s also stressful.
3. Meditate. As much I moan and groan about this sometimes, taking up meditation is literally life-changing!
4. However or whenever you do it; sleep. Whether it’s in chunks of 3, 3 hr “naps” per day; it’s critical that you power down enough to get quality sleep.
5. Take yourself on a “self-date night”! That’s right. Go see a movie, go to dinner, etc by and with yourself. You’ll be amazed at how much this exercise will help you gain self-confidence and a sense of self. It forces you to confront any insecurities you might have about o.p.e and especially the external view of you.
6. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers. It doesn’t have to be over-the-top pricey, so appreciate the woman you are by treating yourself the way you want to be treated. When you do this, it signals your subconscious to internalize the fact that you are worthy of both love and appreciation. Also, you’re shifting your mindset into one of positivity and gratitude.

These 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day is an ever-growing list of activities that help me remain grounded and mindful.

Here are some more quick tips on how to love yourself this  Valentine’s Day:

7. Take a social media vacation: yes. Turn off and tune out all social media for at least 24 hrs. In fact, there are a number of studies that support the idea that too much social media surfing negatively impacts mental health and wellness.

8. Take a detox relaxation bath. That’s right ladies! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come home from a long stressful day at work, stripped out of clothes, and jumped in the shower even though what I really wanted was a long relaxing bath.

9. Journal. If you’ve never journaled before, this is a great time to start. You can use this as an opportunity to really have a conversation with your core self. It’s also a great way to help you get in touch with your feeling.

10.  Show some love to the person you see in the mirror today. That’s right. Sit yourself down, gaze into the mirror, and accept everything that you are today, including your imperfections. How do you do this? First, you need to accept the fact that you are far from perfect and that’s true for every other person on the planet. Next, speak aloud about everything you have accomplished to date and express your gratitude for this day.

Here are a few more ideas to round out your Valentine’s Day self-love session:

11.  Get creative! Yes, this is a great time to really dig into your inner creativity; we’ve all got it. It can be something as simple as trying out a new recipe from Pinterest or your favorite cookbook to painting a nature scene. Whatever you do, make sure it’s something that sparks your inner child.

12.  Touch every part of you. All right, here is where we’re digging deep and headed into some not so comfortable places. By this I mean, wrap your arms around yourself, and speak loving words of appreciation and acceptance to yourself about your body. You can either stand or sit in front of a mirror or find a meditation space.

13.  Deliberately structure a day for yourself alone. This is an important exercise. Don’t call any loved ones, friends, acquaintances, etc just be very deliberate about structuring a day that is fully dedicated to your own needs (and I don’t mean running errands or to-dos). Use this 24 hour period “mindfully” engage with your inner self; digging into those areas of yourself that you’ve neglected. Next, after taking the time to do this, end the day with a ceremonial (i.e. deep breathing exercise accompanied by a personal self-affirmation, etc) activity to seal your intentions.

14. Breathe. Do some deep breathing exercises and keep your mind completely blank. Just, stay in the moment and don’t allow your mind to drift beyond the present. When you do this, you release stress and mental clutter, so try it!

Final Thoughts on How to love yourself this Valentine’s Day (and every other day of the year):

These are just a few ideas for how you can show yourself some love this Valentine’s Day however if it’s a struggle I’m far from surprised. Read up on why it’s so hard for women to self-care and more in one of my earlier posts right here! Here’s another thought: get out of your comfort zone and embark on a self-care retreat to revive, rejuvenate, and empower you! At the end of the day, it’s all about honoring who you are, your needs, and embracing your authentic self. My hope for you is that this list of 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, marks the beginning of your self-care journey.

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quickly. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.