Archives 2018

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Okay, let me start by saying, I  love men! well, most of them. The sane ones; not the cheating-lying-controlling ones!

Now that that is out of the way we can all move on ladies. When I look back at the younger me in my 20’s and 30’s, I really want to smack her! I love her but, gosh was she naive. It would have been great to have a single woman’s guide to navigating this particular journey!

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As I sit here musing on the past and contemplating my upcoming birthday (every year comes a lot quicker), I find it difficult to accept the fact that as a single woman, I wasted a lot of time land energy looking for validation and my own self-worth in the eyes of a man-another fallible human being.

Unfortunately, I feel that we have been “bred” or “conditioned” to looking for validation outside of ourselves. From the time we’re young girls, we are taught to “seek” approval and to be viewed as “good” girls, “giving” and yes, “womanly”. But all that really did (at least in my case) was solidify the notion that I was not enough and that I needed outside validation in order to feel “worthy”. As a single woman in 2018, I can’t help but cringe at those memories!

Over time I grew to resent the role and position that I had been forced to live in by both my culture (as an African woman) and society as a whole. There is nothing uplifting or growth-inducing by being made to feel that you have no worth if you haven’t birthed a child or are someone’s wife! Traditionally women are made to feel all levels of stress (pressure) and angst to get married, birth children and become the perfect daughter-in-law!

What hypocrisy and bondage! It took me a long time to break that conditioning and along the way, I made a lot of mistakes with the opposite sex (I’ll talk more about that later) but better late than never right? Suffice it to say, personal development goes a long way towards freeing yourself from toxic relationships, etc.

This series is dedicated to all the women who traveled the same road and earned her own battle scars and is finally learning what it means to be free! I figured I’d do my civic duty by sharing some simple truths and perspectives in my version of the single woman’s guide to a drama free life. Here are a few things I wish I had learned when I was younger:

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Here are a few helpful tips and pieces of advice I wish I had had as a single woman, all those years ago:

1. If a man you’ve just met tells you to smile, tell him to stay in his own lane and piss off! (I’ve always detested when people, usually men try to take ownership of my emotions). Own your emotions and every other part of you. You are under no obligation to “perform” on demand!

2. Don’t give your number to guys you meet in the parking lot of the post office, grocery store or the club. Chances are, he’s a “collector”, cheater or player (I’ll explain later). Take my advice, it’s not worth the drama. Plus, if he turns out to be stalker-ish you won’t have to change your number.

3. If he only wants to meet at your place doesn’t want you to meet any of his friends, family, etc he’s probably married.Kick his ass to the curb; again, you don’t need the drama and it’s a waste of your time anyway.

4. If it feels like he has to “fit” you into his schedule or his life, chances are you are not a priority for him-it’s time to cut that cord! Most honest men will tell you (i.e. your male friends) if you’re really important to him and valued, he won’t have to “fit” you into anything. A wise assessment from a veteran single woman once shared this nugget with me!

5. Never, ever have intercourse with a man who has not been tested for STD’s (and yes, I mean actual proof!); you’re literally TSTL (too stupid to live) if you give him a pass. Remember my mantra: self-care is healthcare, ladies!

6. If after you’ve been dating for a bit, and he starts making “suggestions” about what you should wear or “improve” your appearance, it’s time to give him the ax. Depending on the context, (I’m being generous here) this usually marks the subtle beginnings of control and or manipulation. Make him aware of it, shut it down, or better yet cut those ties.

These are just a few sage words for the single woman’s guide to drama-free living. I’ve got a growing list for the rest of the series. What are your tips for single women in the current social climate?

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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We all have gifts left over from the holidays, that we’d either rather toss (it didn’t fit your vibe, thoughtless, cheap last-minute buy; be honest) or regift for the “right” person (i.e not you). My solution is to use these less than stellar jewelry “gifts” for some of my DIY home jewelry decorating projects.

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If you’re like me, you feel guilty about throwing such gifts and trinkets in the recycle ♻️ bin so you try to find more “tasteful” ways of repurposing these sorts of gifts.  Since I’m big on finding creative ways to decorate and multi-purpose a variety of odds and ends, it’s DIY jewelry home decorating time!

Using unwanted trinkets for DIY jewelry home decorating projects

A DIY Jewelry project for decorating the home is a perfect example of creative ways to switch things up in your living spaces. I’ve found that old or unwanted trinkets and such, work well for accessorizing your favorite spaces and repurposing your humdrum household items. In fact, chunky or thick ropy necklaces are awesome for those spaces that need a little bit of bling to add some personality.

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As I dug through my stash of items for my goodwill drop-off, I came across a chunky gold ©Akira choker that just got my creative juices flowing! While it wouldn’t do for my particular tastes in jewelry (mine tend to lean towards natural precious and semi-precious metals and stones, plus my sensitive skin can’t handle anything less), it is perfect for a DIY jewelry home decorating project.

Fortunately for me, there was no cutting or splicing required for this particular DIY job and this was largely due to the fact that it was already the perfect length as a drapery tie-back. The brushed gold multi-stranded choker had enough links for it to be repurposed as a drapery accessory and took less than 10 mins to fashion it into an excellent DIY home decorating success!

It’s still early days yet so in the spirit of decluttering and detoxing your life, grab your copy of my detox pantry guide (click on the image above) and keep the momentum rolling!

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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Sometimes I almost feel like a chemist in a laboratory when I walk through the aisles of my local supermarkets! Each time I make that trek I become more and more convinced that that’s not the place I need to be picking up items to put in my stomach. I’m convinced the packaged food aisles are simply halls of death masquerading toxic food additives as “flavor” enhancers or “benign ingredients”.

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While packaged foods can be helpful sometimes (i.e. emergency foodstuffs for disaster relief, etc), they are definitely a class of foods every person should avoid if they value their lives!  Few people realize that those “packaged” foods they’re eating are loaded with toxic food additives!

Depending on what region of the world you live making sense of food labels can be a mysterious and frustrating task for the average person. For instance, here in the U.S. food label regulations and protections are ass-backward in my humble opinion.

Over the years, I’ve made it my business to become my own food and health advocate. I’ve been pouring over labels, ingredient names, questionable additives and so forth. What did I learn? Well, MY health and wellbeing are definitely not high up on the list of priorities for the packaged food industry!

Now I don’t know about you, but I LOVE my Mayo! I love it on my sandwiches and I sometimes use it as a base for some of my recipes. BUT after a bit of label reading, I was shocked to find an ingredient that is typically used in medical labs (and other industries), is showing up in my mayo! Say what? That’s right people. A dubious chemical that’s used in industrial processes and in certain medications, has a home in our mayonnaise! Everyday people seem to be missing the fact that this toxic food additive is hiding in their food!

Don’t take my word for it. When you read up on some of the “potential” health issues associated with this toxic food additive you will leave that jar of poison on the shelf too! I’m definitely not the only one raising the alarm about these toxic food additives and I am convinced that the more we rise up as consumers, the better of we will all be.

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Coming from a background in the medical laboratory, I KNOW that this is nothing I want in my food. It has no business showing up on my plate! As a matter of fact, EDTA is actually banned in some countries outside of the U.S. (i.e. Australia) and is well regulated elsewhere (i.e. Europe) in its use in personal care items, etc.

EDTA is a chemical really should be in our food. The packaged food industry uses it as a stabilizer and preservative to give their products a longer shelf life-too bad it doesn’t give YOU a long shelf life!

Thanks to the organic revolution and food advocates, the use of these toxic food additives are coming to light. As a matter of fact, some of these large corporations are trying to rebrand themselves as “healthy” by doing what they should have done in the first place. What’s wrong with producing food items that are not harmful to consumers? There’s no need for “rebranding” if you don’t put questionable and toxic food additives in the foods you’re marketing to the public!

Enough with the additives already! If it’s not processed sugars, in our foods it’s chemicals with questionable impacts on our health and wellbeing. It’s up to us to help educate one another and compel our regulatory agencies and our legislators to do the right thing!

The processed and packaged food industries have done their best to hide what’s in our food as well as the origins of the ingredients they contain. Thanks to organizations like the EWG (Environmental Working Group )  and others like them, we are becoming educated about what’s in our food.

I have become a label fanatic simply to keep myself and my family from being poisoned by our food industries, which is a sad commentary on the state of our regulatory agencies here in the USA. While, I know no country has consumer protection down a 100%, we’ve got to do better starting with now.

As consumers, we need to educate ourselves about our food and demand that our legislators step up and force compliance. You really can’t trust the “fox” to “guard the henhouse”, that’s just nuts and totally ineffectual!

Bottom line? know what’s in your food and get involved in your community. It is our responsibility to rise up and demand better from the food industry and our legislators. The only way we can protect ourselves and our families is to get involved and educated about what’s in our food. I’ve found a number of online resources to help me fight back!

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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There are so many reasons why ingesting huge amounts of (processed) sugar is a terrible idea, but few people recognize the devasting impacts sugar can have on the body. Between the heavy marketing and confusing information from doctors and nutritionists alike, it’s no wonder that the facts get lost in the shuffle. Processed sugar in all its forms and packagings are literally killing us and if we don’t stop it right now, more people will die.

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Here are some basic facts about sugar:

1.First and foremost, sugar contains a lot of calories and has no essential nutrients. If that isn’t enough to make you pause, consider the fact that it also causes tooth decay by fueling the production and proliferation of harmful bacteria in the mouth.

2.Next, added sugar is high in fructose and can overload your liver. A sedentary lifestyle coupled with the typical western diet that’s filled with processed foods, high in sodium and lots of sugar; the high levels of fructose in this type of diet is transformed into fat in the liver. The danger here is that it can lead to non-alcoholic liver disease.

So what’s the big deal?

The problem arises from the fact that when sugar enters the bloodstream from the digestive tract, it gets broken down into glucose and fructose. Now, while glucose is present in every living organism (if we don’t get it through diet our bodies can also produce), fructose is much different. This particular type of sugar is neither needed by the body nor do we produce it in any significant quantity.

While it’s not a problem when we take in small quantities (i.e. from fruits) since fructose can only be metabolized by the liver, consuming large quantities of this sugar can overload the liver. Not only this, fructose elevates your LDL (a.k.a. bad cholesterol), blood fats and lowers insulin resistance!

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3.The big “C” or cancer is one of the leading causes of death throughout the world. It is essentially the uncontrolled growth and proliferation of cells. Also, since insulin is one of the major hormones responsible for regulating cell growth, excessive levels of this hormone can contribute to cancer.

Several studies also show that people who consume large amounts of sugar in their diet are at a much higher risk for both cardiovascular disease and cancer (with inflammation listed as a potential cause).

4. Still hanging on to that crazy train? sugar cause large amounts of dopamine to be released in the reward center of the brain and is very addictive. In fact, because of the large amounts found in processed foods, etc the danger lies in the fact these amounts are much larger than what we ordinarily are exposed to from natural sources.

The truth is that most of the processed and fast food industries are aware of the addictive nature of processed sugar but do little to address the issue so it falls to the consumer to educate his or herself about what’s in their food!

5. Experts now believe that consuming large amounts of sugar over a long period of time can accelerate the aging process. So those lines and wrinkles you’re seeing in the mirror? You can blame a good portion of that premature aging on your diet!

While the breakdown of the skin is the result of a natural process that’s known as glycation (a  process in which the sugar in your bloodstream attaches to proteins to form harmful new molecules called advanced glycation end products or AGEs). When you eat a lot of sugar you increase the amount of AGE production.

When it comes to breaking unhealthy relationships with food, the struggle is real! SIGN UP & Find out more about ditching that processed sugar craze in my free 7 DAY DETOX event (Live on Facebook) beginning January 20-27th

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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Hello, goodness and all my fellow skincare freaks! I make no bones about splurging on skincare, especially when I come across a brand that’s all about eco-friendly, animal-friendly, and plant-based skincare. Today I’m sharing my new secret weapon from Benu Cosmetics.

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I know it can often be hard to see the forest for the trees in the world of cosmeceuticals, skincare and wellness industries, BUT I would be doing us all a huge disservice by not featuring this up and coming skin care gem. I hate when old favorites keep messing with their formulas in the name of “improvements” (it’s just reformulating and branding, seriously, who gives a flying fig?) to the point where my skin straight up lodges a serious rebellion and I’m forced to go a-hunting for a new line that’s all natural, loaded with anti-oxidants and won’t throw me into a tailspin. Well, enough of that! I recently got the opportunity to try out “Hello Skin” serum from ©Benu Cosmetics, and needless to say, I am a fan.

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 I love the feel and texture of Benu Cosmetics’ “Hello Skin” serum! It’s an awesome new line, founded by a millennial who’s serious about making changes in both the skincare industry and the environment! It’s vegan, organic and uses all natural ingredients that will nourish, moisturize and heal your skin. Additionally, if you’ve got sensitive skin like I do this is one item you won’t want to pass on. My love of organic and all-natural skincare is what fuels my interest in this particular brand.

Don’t take it from me though, grab yourself a bottle of Benu Cosmetics’ flagship serums, “Hello Skin” and try it out for yourself. It’s not every day that you encounter a product that is both simple and complex in one encounter. Boasting a short list of ingredients (no more than five ingredients) blended together in a unique proprietary formula, ©benucosmetics is my new bestie for my skincare needs. While it isn’t always the case that I fall in love with a particular skincare brand, I had to share my review of ©Benu Cosmetics “Hello Skin” serum ’cause I’m all about loving the skin I’m in!

Plus, since I’m also a great shopper I’m sharing my discount code with ALL of you>> RIGHT HERE!

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[/et_pb_video][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”Row” _builder_version=”3.0.51″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_team_member admin_label=”Author Bio” name=”Tonye Tariah” position=”Freedom At The Crossroads Founder” image_url=”http://freedomatthecrossroads.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/16403040_732883533553339_4010103490960637755_o.jpg” facebook_url=”https://www.facebook.com/TonyeTariahHealthStrategist/” twitter_url=”https://twitter.com/fit_and_fab2″ _builder_version=”3.0.51″ saved_tabs=”all”]

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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