Archives 2024

Things are rapidly changing across the globe and many of the issues and challenges that are unique to women, continue to grow. From socio-political unrest to domestic violence, women, children and the elderly are at the forefront. This makes it critically important that emergency selfcare for black women plans and strategies are in place regardless of where you are. Racism and anti-blackness are global and we as Black women need to have or create contingency plans in place. That means a plan, A, B, and C if it comes to that.

A sign of the times

Not to sound alarmist, but we all remember how January 6th went down, after the last presidential election and things are far more toxic. Given the state of the economy in the US, discontent, and rolling back of women’s and Black voting rights, it’s clear communities of color need to have their own contingencies in place. This is especially true for the Black community, given the violent and oppressive history of this country. Thus, it’s no surprise that Black women also need additional safety and security plans. Patriarchy is still a major player globally and is exacerbated by the institutionalized racism and discrimination that is foundational to the nation. So what can the average Black woman do to ensure she has relative safety, security, etc, if she’s not one of the privileged few, who’ve either left, leaving or have a geographic exit plan?

Keeping it real about selfcare and personal safety as a Black woman

While America has a lot of problems, it’s also true that the us does not have a monopoly on racism and anti-blackness. That being said, the average BIPOC person, is living their lives and navigating as best as possible. Many of us are doing well, but far too many in the Black community are struggling, especially Black women. The dark specter of patriarchy and misogyny means that Black women have even more barriers to navigate and fight against. This is true in all dimensions of society and culture. When you add in the current racial tensions, socio-economic discontent as well as escalated violence against women in general, the long-term effects can be very harmful and damaging.

The continued need for selfcare

This is why selfcare must be centered in the life of every woman and girl, especially. Yes, selfcare is important for everyone, but the reality is that women have been conditioned and arguably, brainwashed into believing that their exhaustion and marginalization are normal and a reasonable price to pay for “acceptance Abad protection” in society. As patriarchy continues to oppress women violently in response to women demanding autonomy and equal rights, safety and security need to be amplified in any selfcare toolkit. This is where emergency selfcare for Black women becomes a “thing”! Having a plan that includes self-defense, personal safety hacks, etc becomes even more important at a time when socio-political unrest is a possibility.

Some things to have as part of your emergency selfcare toolkit/plan :

1. Emergency carry-all (aka go bag)
2. Important documents (for yourself and your dependents)
3. A valid passport (and passport card)
4. List of important medications
5. Emergency evacuation plan
6. List of important phone numbers
7. List of safe locations if geolocation needs to be executed
8. Important community members and contacts
9. Important electronics (including accessories, chargers, batteries, etc)
10. Adaptive Mindfulness practices, wellness routines, etc

Final thoughts regarding selfcare for black women

History tells us that progress and real change, not just in North America, but worldwide, will not happen overnight. Patriarchy and white supremacy are amid an extinction burst, and black women need to exit stage left. We as a collective, no longer have the luxury of setting ourselves on fire to keep other folks warm. Instead, we must get the necessary to ensure that we thrive and not just survive. This means, starting prioritizing your health, getting the tools to do so, and geolocating if necessary. For more on prioritizing your health check out this post here!

Self-Care for Black Women: Thriving in spite of a toxic work place

Navigating a toxic workplace can be overwhelming, especially for Black women who often face additional stressors like microaggressions, bias, and the pressure to overperform. Prioritizing self-care is essential to protecting your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Below, I’m highlighting five key self-care strategies, practical examples, and tools to help you not just survive but thrive!

1. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy

One of the most critical self-care practices in a toxic workplace is learning to set and maintain boundaries. A toxic workplace can drain your energy and blur the lines between personal and professional time. What’s not spoken about enough, is the degree to which these effects are amplified for Black women.

Example: If you’re frequently contacted outside of work hours, politely but firmly communicate that you are unavailable after a certain time. Also, set expectations from the beginning by asking questions and making it known that you’re unavailable outside of work. Don’t allow supervisors, etc to intimidate you into accepting this kind of harmful behavior. I address some strategies for how to go about this right here

Solution-Based Tool: Use apps like “Google Calendar“ or “Todoist“ to schedule your work hours and block off time for yourself. Set reminders to help you stick to these boundaries and prevent burnout.

2. Address Microaggressions with Confidence

Microaggressions—subtle, often unintentional discriminatory comments or behaviors—can chip away at your self-esteem over time. Addressing them can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential to stand up for yourself in a way that maintains your peace.

Example: When someone makes a stereotypical remark, calmly respond with, “I know you may not realize it, but that comment can be hurtful. I’d appreciate it if we could avoid these types of generalizations.”

Solution-Based Tool: “The Microaggressions Tracker” is a tool that allows you to log instances of microaggressions, helping you document patterns and responses over time. This can also assist in identifying recurring issues that may need to be escalated to HR.

3. Practice Mindful Stress Management

Mindfulness and stress management techniques are crucial in navigating toxic environments. Practicing mindfulness helps you stay grounded, even in high-pressure situations.

Example: Before entering a tense meeting, take a few moments to breathe deeply, center yourself, and mentally prepare. You can also take short “breath breaks” during your workday to reset.

Solution-Based Tool: Download meditation apps like “Calm” or “Headspace” to guide you through quick mindfulness exercises or breathing techniques. Even a 5-minute daily practice can make a significant difference in managing stress levels.

4. Build a Support System (and vett folks in your circle)

Finding allies in and out of the workplace is critical. Lean on trusted friends, family members, or professional networks of Black women who understand your experience. This community can offer encouragement, perspective, and advice.

Example: Join online support groups, such as “Sister Circle”, where Black women share resources and discuss coping mechanisms for toxic work environments.

Solution-Based Tool: Use platforms like “LinkedIn” to join professional groups like “Black Women Connect” or “Black Career Women’s Network”. These networks provide mentorship opportunities, career advice, and emotional support. Believe it or not, this will go a long way in helping you feel empowered as you navigate these workplace challenges with confidence and more safety.

5. Prioritize Physical and Mental Health

Your well-being should never take a backseat to a toxic job. Whether it’s through regular exercise, therapy, or simply getting enough sleep, maintaining your health is a form of resistance against burnout. For most of my clients, including myself, this can be one of the most challenging aspects of your selfcare journey as a Black woman. This is where strategy and community really come into play.

Example: Set a weekly routine that includes physical activity, even if it’s just a 30-minute walk during your lunch break. Consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in the unique challenges faced by Black women. It’s extremely important to utilize every available resource both in and outside the workplace (i.e. your EAP, etc).

Solution-Based Tool: Use apps like “BetterHelp” for accessible, affordable online therapy sessions, or try “MyFitnessPal” to track your physical activity and nutrition. Both tools can help you stay accountable and prioritize your health, no matter how busy your schedule gets.

Final Thoughts

While navigating a toxic workplace can be challenging, adopting these self-care strategies will help you maintain your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Remember: self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary for survival and success. Whether you’re setting boundaries, addressing microaggressions, or leaning on your community, these tools will empower you to thrive despite workplace toxicity. You can read another helpful post on this topic right here

Something To Think About

Unfortunately, we live in a world that continues to exist under both patriarchy and anti-blackness, but rather than waiting for things to “change” there are strategies, tools, etc that we can use to improve our lives. For Black women, that range is a continuum of selfcare strategies and other tools we can employ to thrive rather than just survive. You deserve to work in an environment where you feel valued and respected. One thing to note? That can also include a literal change of environment and or location. The real question becomes, what’s the best toolkit/ strategy for you. If you need help or guidance with that, click here.

We’re well into the summer, and the dry air, heat, etc can be brutal on those locks sis! Since I’m always on the hunt for natural alternatives, I’ve found 5 natural ingredients for healthy hair, that seem to always score at the top of my list. Climate, stress, diet, etc can really impact the health of your hair. So for me, natural and minimal ingredients are my choice to work to heal and protect my hair and scalp. Natural ingredients will almost always out do those store bought versions that are loaded with chemicals. Have you heard about the latest scandals around some of the brands marketing to black women? Yeah, you know the ones that are accused of containing harmful chemicals that are possibly cancer causing? Well, today I’m highlighting 5 natural ingredients for healthy hair, in a simple DIY recipe. My list/ recipe came about from my own journey and simply what has worked best for me.

The big deal about emergency selfcare for women 

Things are rapidly changing across the globe and many of the issues and challenges that are unique to women, continue to grow. From socio-political unrest to domestic violence, women, children and the elderly are at the forefront.  This makes it critically important that emergency selfcare for black women, include plans and strategies. They also need to be put in place regardless of where you are in the world. Racism and anti-blackness is global and we as Black women need to have or create contingency plans. It also  means having a plan, A, B, and C, if it comes to that.

A sign of the times

Not to sound alarmist, but we all remember how January 6th went down, after the last presidential election and things are far more toxic. Given the state of the economy in the discontent in the U.S., rolling back of women’s and Black voting rights, it’s clear communities of color need to have their own contengencies in place. This is especially true for the Black community, given the violent and oppressive history of this country.

More on the realities of 2024 politics in the U.S.A

Given the political climate, it’s no surprise that Black women need to have additional safety and security plans as well. Patriarchy is still a major player globally, and exacerbates the institutionalized racism and discrimination that is foundational to this nation. So what can the average Black woman do to ensure she has relative safety, security, etc, if she’s not one of the privileged few, who’ve either left, leaving or have a geographic exit plan? Check out an earlier related article here. Like it or not, emergency selfcare for black women is critical to thriving beyond 2024.

Keeping it real about selfcare and personal safety as a Black woman

While America has a lot of problems, it’s also true that the us does not have a monopoly on racism and anti-blackness. That being said, the average BIPOC person, is living their lives and navigating as best as possible. Many of us are doing well, but far too many in the Black community are struggling, especially Black women. The dark spectre of patriarchy and misogyny means that Black women have even more barriers to navigate and fight against. This is true in all dimensions of society and culture. When you add in the current racial tensions, socio-economic discontent as well as the escalated violence against women in general, the long term effects can be very harmful and damaging.

The continued need for selfcare

This is why selfcare must be centered in the life of every woman and girl. Yes, selfcare is important for everyone, but the reality is that women have been conditioned and arguably, brainwashed. Many have been conditioned into believing that their exhaustion and marginalization is normal and a reasonable price to pay for a “acceptance and protection” within society.  As patriarchy continues to violently oppress women in response to women demanding autonomy and equal rights, safety and security needs to be amplified in any selfcare toolkit.

Our experinece

This is where emergency selfcare for Black women becomes a “thing”! Having a plan that includes self defense, personal safety hacks, etc become even more important at a time when socio-political unrest is a possibility. History continues to remind us, that as a collective, contingencies are necessary in order to not just survive, but to thrive. For more on this, you can watch my YouTube video here

Some things to have as part of your selfcare emergency toolkit/plan 

1. Create an emergency carry all (aka go bag)
2. Important documents (for yourself and your dependents)
3. valid passport (and passport card)
4. List of important medications
5. Emergency evacuation plan
6. List of important phone numbers
7. List of safe locations in the event that geolocation needs to be executed
8. Important community members and contacts
9. Important electronics (including accessories, chargers, batteries, etc)
10. Adaptive Mindfulness practices, wellness routines, etc
11. Community resources

Additional resources (U.S.A):

1. https://www.ready.gov/publications

One more thing

For more strategies and tips, be sure to subscribe and follow me on social right here!

Black women are realizing they have options

It’s been a long time coming but for a variety of reasons more black women are traveling the world and even choosing to become permanent expats. Statistically, black women are some of the highest educated and accomplished folks in the United States. Arguably, social media and other platforms have also played a role in this trend. By connecting more women to communities across the globe, they are being shown that they too, have options. Navigating the realities of anti-blackness and institutionalized racism, black women are beginning to reevaluate the whole notion of the American dream. Additionally, the covid pandemic drove home some hard truths about healthcare disparities, inequity, work-life balance, etc .

What black women found out during the pandemic

Black women working in the service industry and frontline jobs faced unique challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many worked in sectors with higher exposure to the virus, such as healthcare, retail, and hospitality. They often experienced higher rates of job insecurity, reduced hours, and increased health risks.

Moreover, the closure of schools and increased caregiving responsibilities disproportionately affected black women, as they were more likely to be single parents or primary caregivers. The digital divide also posed challenges for remote work and education, further exacerbating disparities.

Who was the most impacted by the pandemic

Generally, women were disproportionately affected in terms of job losses, increased caregiving responsibilities, and challenges accessing healthcare. These impacts were often more pronounced in lower-income communities and sectors with a high representation of women.

What the pandemic has revealed to black women

However, black women  were the hardest hit in service and many frontline roles. They often faced a combination of economic, health, and caregiving challenges, highlighting the intersectionality of gender and race and the impact of the pandemic. Remember, most service based, healthcare, and education, etc professions are largely women, particularly black and other women of color. Given the socio-cultural, history and politics of the U.S., it’s no great surprise that these groups were the most negatively impacted by the pandemic.

What this meant for black women (both in and outside the workplace)

As the politics and seedy underbelly of America’s past raises its head, black women are realizing that, the very progress that has been made in terms of social justice, equality and gender equity, are being rolled back. With that knowledge comes the need to create community and resources for addressing this reality. One of the consequences of this is the trending exodus of black women from the U.S. and, an exploration of the world in search of better options. Traveling the world is a movement and a response to the realities of a nation that refuses to address its own issues.

Black women traveling as a form of selfcare

Black women traveling the world is a powerful manifestation of recognizing that you have options and resourcefulness, is your middle name. For black women, travel as well as even becoming permanent expats, is also a form of selfcare and selflove. For most black Americans, the U.S. is the toxic and traumatic ex you want to ditch. Well, for black women tired of laboring on behalf of everyone else, they are choosing to go with another option. That option is travel and, in some cases, expatriation to places across the globe that will allow us to thrive in relative safety and security. Read my latest post on my Merida selfcare vacation right here!

More on selfcare for Black women

As a collective, Black people have always been explorers and travelers, for centuries. That remains true, even today. Some is due to political and economic distress, and some is by choice. More recently, Black women are adding travel and exploration to their selfcare toolkit. For many, travel is a release and escape from unchecked capitalism, institutional racism, workplace toxicity, and marginalization. Selfcare has become a revolutionary act for a lot of Black women. Particularly, those who are awakening to the fact that they don’t have to stay in spaces where they are unsafe and marginalized. Yes, it’s a “privilege” for many of us in the West, but that too is changing for women globally as more women expand their selfcare toolkits. Make no mistake; not every “selfcare” toolkit requires travel. A simple change of physical location, a safe space, etc, will also suffice.

Final thoughts

Yes, racism and anti-blackness are global. However, when it comes to “degrees” of this ish, the USA , has a monopoly. The fact that this poison is so foundational and intertwined with the history of this country, is daunting. The work, blood, and  sacrifices that Black people have put into this country is something this nation is yet to reconcile. Against that context, Black women have toiled and sacrificed enough, and many have decided that it’s time to lay down the super woman cape and focus on healing and thriving. This journey of selfcare and selflove, is one that many women across the globe are beginning to embrace. Needless to say, those who have exploited female labor, reproduction, etc are not pleased. The rollback of women’s rights globally, rape culture, attacks on women’s reproductive rights, etc, are all in response to women coming together to reclaim their place in humanity.

Reflections on my Selfcare vacation

I’m closing out my selfcare Merida vacation by making sure I hit some of the local sights. Manifesto coffee does not disappoint here in centro historical de Merida. It’s got cute and cozy vibes coupled with a sense of safety that I typically don’t feel in the United States. The vibes, service and menu are just what I was craving. Selfcare is also about curating both your space and your vibe. For me, hanging out here to people watch, blog and just exist in a chill space, was part of that experience. While there are spaces that are similarly quaint in the U.S. and anti-blackness is global, my experience here as a Black woman, was unmatched!

My perspectives as a Black woman

For instance, while I consider myself to be a mindful and vigilant  female traveler, the sense of safety and ease as a black woman, is unmatched here. There’s no veiled hostility, micro aggression vibes, or wondering if I’ll need to break out the pepper spray for some guy who can’t handle a simple “no” or “not interested”.  Also, I don’t have to worry about the next random mass shooting here either! Needless to say, this selfcare Merida vacation was definitely needed.

The Merida vibes

While Merida may have lost it’s spot at the top as the second safest city in North America, the fact remains that it is an awesome place to just rest, replenish and exist without the collective trauma one experiences living life on the daily in the US. It’s only when one has the opportunity to travel beyond our immediate bubble, that we realize the crazy toxic rat race we live in is not normal (You can get some great ideas from one of my previous post here)!  On a side note,  Yes, there is racism in Mexico.  But, the American version is so poisonous and foundational to its structures.

Adding to your selfcare toolkit

A lot of times, it’s not enough to just take a few days off from the rat race. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your mental and emotional health is to, leave! Changing your physical environment can be extremely therapeutic and healing. For instance, taking something similar to my Selfcare Merida vacation, can be just what the doctor ordered. Not only does a change of location remove you from stresses in your environment, it gives you the space to focus on yourself. Society and culture have conditioned women to put the needs and desires of others, ahead of their own. It also reinforces this lack of care through guilt, religion, etc. All of this, is unhealthy and unstainable.

A few studies and thoughts

There are several recent studies to address the impact of racism, gender inequality, etc on women, particularly Black women. For all the skeptics out there, you can read about it in this article by Allana T. Forde PhD, MPH et.al. Another article by Stephanie Brooks, et.al studies this from the lens of gender. Since institutional racism, discrimination, etc is not going away anytime soon, the key is to have strategies in place. Having a selfcare toolkit is a life-saving solution to not just survive, but to thrive.  Unfortunately, now more than ever, women are facing rollbacks of human rights, bodily autonomy, gender-based violence, etc. While this was also true in the past, technology and women pushing back against patriarchy, misogyny, racism, etc has escalated the dangers faced by women.

More thoughts on this

The reality is, freedom, self-determination and equality, will always face pushback from those who benefit from both oppression and inequality. When it comes to female labor, reproduction, resources, etc, exploiters/oppressive institutions, will always resort to violence in some form, in order to maintain dominance. With this in mind, women, globally, must utilize all aspects of selfcare and expand what it means, in order to address our current state. Sounds radical; I know, you weren’t expecting “this” version of selfcare. The version of selfcare that’s pedaled on mainstream social media, does not live here! My selfcare Merida vacation, was designed to heal, decompress and shore up my protections against all of what we face as women, especially as a Black woman.

Final thoughts

While my selfcare Merida vacation might be seen as a privilege (I recognize that my privilege in being to be able to expand my selfcare in this manner), we all must plan and define what goes into our own life-saving, selfcare toolkits. It is individual and tailored to meet the unique needs of each woman across the globe. Is it environmental safety? Is it physical protection/safety? Yes, all of these things should be considered when building your toolkit. As a selfcare and health coach for Black women over 40, this is something I do for myself as well as my clients. We live in an era of both tremendous change as well as real danger for women everywhere. Move strategically ladies!