Reflections on my Selfcare vacation
I’m closing out my selfcare Merida vacation by making sure I hit some of the local sights. Manifesto coffee does not disappoint here in centro historical de Merida. It’s got cute and cozy vibes coupled with a sense of safety that I typically don’t feel in the United States. The vibes, service and menu are just what I was craving. Selfcare is also about curating both your space and your vibe. For me, hanging out here to people watch, blog and just exist in a chill space, was part of that experience. While there are spaces that are similarly quaint in the U.S. and anti-blackness is global, my experience here as a Black woman, was unmatched!
My perspectives as a Black woman
For instance, while I consider myself to be a mindful and vigilant female traveler, the sense of safety and ease as a black woman, is unmatched here. There’s no veiled hostility, micro aggression vibes, or wondering if I’ll need to break out the pepper spray for some guy who can’t handle a simple “no” or “not interested”. Also, I don’t have to worry about the next random mass shooting here either! Needless to say, this selfcare Merida vacation was definitely needed.
The Merida vibes
While Merida may have lost it’s spot at the top as the second safest city in North America, the fact remains that it is an awesome place to just rest, replenish and exist without the collective trauma one experiences living life on the daily in the US. It’s only when one has the opportunity to travel beyond our immediate bubble, that we realize the crazy toxic rat race we live in is not normal (You can get some great ideas from one of my previous post here)! On a side note, Yes, there is racism in Mexico. But, the American version is so poisonous and foundational to its structures.
Adding to your selfcare toolkit
A lot of times, it’s not enough to just take a few days off from the rat race. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your mental and emotional health is to, leave! Changing your physical environment can be extremely therapeutic and healing. For instance, taking something similar to my Selfcare Merida vacation, can be just what the doctor ordered. Not only does a change of location remove you from stresses in your environment, it gives you the space to focus on yourself. Society and culture have conditioned women to put the needs and desires of others, ahead of their own. It also reinforces this lack of care through guilt, religion, etc. All of this, is unhealthy and unstainable.
A few studies and thoughts
There are several recent studies to address the impact of racism, gender inequality, etc on women, particularly Black women. For all the skeptics out there, you can read about it in this article by Allana T. Forde PhD, MPH et.al. Another article by Stephanie Brooks, et.al studies this from the lens of gender. Since institutional racism, discrimination, etc is not going away anytime soon, the key is to have strategies in place. Having a selfcare toolkit is a life-saving solution to not just survive, but to thrive. Unfortunately, now more than ever, women are facing rollbacks of human rights, bodily autonomy, gender-based violence, etc. While this was also true in the past, technology and women pushing back against patriarchy, misogyny, racism, etc has escalated the dangers faced by women.
More thoughts on this
The reality is, freedom, self-determination and equality, will always face pushback from those who benefit from both oppression and inequality. When it comes to female labor, reproduction, resources, etc, exploiters/oppressive institutions, will always resort to violence in some form, in order to maintain dominance. With this in mind, women, globally, must utilize all aspects of selfcare and expand what it means, in order to address our current state. Sounds radical; I know, you weren’t expecting “this” version of selfcare. The version of selfcare that’s pedaled on mainstream social media, does not live here! My selfcare Merida vacation, was designed to heal, decompress and shore up my protections against all of what we face as women, especially as a Black woman.
Final thoughts
While my selfcare Merida vacation might be seen as a privilege (I recognize that my privilege in being to be able to expand my selfcare in this manner), we all must plan and define what goes into our own life-saving, selfcare toolkits. It is individual and tailored to meet the unique needs of each woman across the globe. Is it environmental safety? Is it physical protection/safety? Yes, all of these things should be considered when building your toolkit. As a selfcare and health coach for Black women over 40, this is something I do for myself as well as my clients. We live in an era of both tremendous change as well as real danger for women everywhere. Move strategically ladies!
