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Things are rapidly changing across the globe and many of the issues and challenges that are unique to women, continue to grow. From socio-political unrest to domestic violence, women, children and the elderly are at the forefront. This makes it critically important that emergency selfcare for black women plans and strategies are in place regardless of where you are. Racism and anti-blackness are global and we as Black women need to have or create contingency plans in place. That means a plan, A, B, and C if it comes to that.

A sign of the times

Not to sound alarmist, but we all remember how January 6th went down, after the last presidential election and things are far more toxic. Given the state of the economy in the US, discontent, and rolling back of women’s and Black voting rights, it’s clear communities of color need to have their own contingencies in place. This is especially true for the Black community, given the violent and oppressive history of this country. Thus, it’s no surprise that Black women also need additional safety and security plans. Patriarchy is still a major player globally and is exacerbated by the institutionalized racism and discrimination that is foundational to the nation. So what can the average Black woman do to ensure she has relative safety, security, etc, if she’s not one of the privileged few, who’ve either left, leaving or have a geographic exit plan?

Keeping it real about selfcare and personal safety as a Black woman

While America has a lot of problems, it’s also true that the us does not have a monopoly on racism and anti-blackness. That being said, the average BIPOC person, is living their lives and navigating as best as possible. Many of us are doing well, but far too many in the Black community are struggling, especially Black women. The dark specter of patriarchy and misogyny means that Black women have even more barriers to navigate and fight against. This is true in all dimensions of society and culture. When you add in the current racial tensions, socio-economic discontent as well as escalated violence against women in general, the long-term effects can be very harmful and damaging.

The continued need for selfcare

This is why selfcare must be centered in the life of every woman and girl, especially. Yes, selfcare is important for everyone, but the reality is that women have been conditioned and arguably, brainwashed into believing that their exhaustion and marginalization are normal and a reasonable price to pay for “acceptance Abad protection” in society. As patriarchy continues to oppress women violently in response to women demanding autonomy and equal rights, safety and security need to be amplified in any selfcare toolkit. This is where emergency selfcare for Black women becomes a “thing”! Having a plan that includes self-defense, personal safety hacks, etc becomes even more important at a time when socio-political unrest is a possibility.

Some things to have as part of your emergency selfcare toolkit/plan :

  1. Emergency carry-all (aka go bag)
  2. Important documents (for yourself and your dependents)
  3. A valid passport (and passport card)
  4. List of important medications
  5. Emergency evacuation plan
  6. List of important phone numbers
  7. List of safe locations if geolocation needs to be executed
  8. Important community members and contacts
  9. Important electronics (including accessories, chargers, batteries, etc)
  10. Adaptive Mindfulness practices, wellness routines, etc

Emergency selfcare for black women blog Pinterest image

Final thoughts regarding selfcare for black women

History tells us that progress and real change, not just in North America, but worldwide, will not happen overnight. Patriarchy and white supremacy are amid an extinction burst, and black women need to exit stage left. We as a collective, no longer have the luxury of setting ourselves on fire to keep other folks warm. Instead, we must get the necessary to ensure that we thrive and not just survive. This means, starting prioritizing your health, getting the tools to do so, and geolocating if necessary. For more on prioritizing your health check out this post here!

Emergency Selfcare For Black Women

Blog feature image for a black woman's guide to sel selfcare in a toxic work environment

Self-Care for Black Women: Thriving in spite of a toxic work place

Navigating a toxic workplace can be overwhelming, especially for Black women who often face additional stressors like microaggressions, bias, and the pressure to overperform. Prioritizing self-care is essential to protecting your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Below, I’m highlighting five key self-care strategies, practical examples, and tools to help you not just survive but thrive!

1. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy

One of the most critical self-care practices in a toxic workplace is learning to set and maintain boundaries. A toxic workplace can drain your energy and blur the lines between personal and professional time. What’s not spoken about enough, is the degree to which these effects are amplified for Black women.

Example: If you’re frequently contacted outside of work hours, politely but firmly communicate that you are unavailable after a certain time. Also, set expectations from the beginning by asking questions and making it known that you’re unavailable outside of work. Don’t allow supervisors, etc to intimidate you into accepting this kind of harmful behavior. I address some strategies for how to go about this right here

Solution-Based Tool: Use apps like Google Calendar or Todoist to schedule your work hours and block off time for yourself. Set reminders to help you stick to these boundaries and prevent burnout.

2. Address Microaggressions with Confidence

Microaggressions—subtle, often unintentional discriminatory comments or behaviors—can chip away at your self-esteem over time. Addressing them can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential to stand up for yourself in a way that maintains your peace.

Example: When someone makes a stereotypical remark, calmly respond with, “I know you may not realize it, but that comment can be hurtful. I’d appreciate it if we could avoid these types of generalizations.”

Solution-Based Tool: “The Microaggressions Tracker” is a tool that allows you to log instances of microaggressions, helping you document patterns and responses over time. This can also assist in identifying recurring issues that may need to be escalated to HR.

3. Practice Mindful Stress Management

Mindfulness and stress management techniques are crucial in navigating toxic environments. Practicing mindfulness helps you stay grounded, even in high-pressure situations.

Example: Before entering a tense meeting, take a few moments to breathe deeply, center yourself, and mentally prepare. You can also take short “breath breaks” during your workday to reset.

Solution-Based Tool: Download meditation apps like “Calm” or “Headspace” to guide you through quick mindfulness exercises or breathing techniques. Even a 5-minute daily practice can make a significant difference in managing stress levels.

4. Build a Support System (and vett folks in your circle)

Finding allies in and out of the workplace is critical. Lean on trusted friends, family members, or professional networks of Black women who understand your experience. This community can offer encouragement, perspective, and advice.

Example: Join online support groups, such as “Sister Circle”, where Black women share resources and discuss coping mechanisms for toxic work environments.

Solution-Based Tool: Use platforms like “LinkedIn” to join professional groups like “Black Women Connect” or “Black Career Women’s Network”. These networks provide mentorship opportunities, career advice, and emotional support. Believe it or not, this will go a long way in helping you feel empowered as you navigate these workplace challenges with confidence and more safety.

5. Prioritize Physical and Mental Health

Your well-being should never take a backseat to a toxic job. Whether it’s through regular exercise, therapy, or simply getting enough sleep, maintaining your health is a form of resistance against burnout. For most of my clients, including myself, this can be one of the most challenging aspects of your selfcare journey as a Black woman. This is where strategy and community really come into play.

Example: Set a weekly routine that includes physical activity, even if it’s just a 30-minute walk during your lunch break. Consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in the unique challenges faced by Black women. It’s extremely important to utilize every available resource both in and outside the workplace (i.e. your EAP, etc).

Solution-Based Tool: Use apps like “BetterHelp” for accessible, affordable online therapy sessions, or try “MyFitnessPal” to track your physical activity and nutrition. Both tools can help you stay accountable and prioritize your health, no matter how busy your schedule gets.

Final Thoughts

While navigating a toxic workplace can be challenging, adopting these self-care strategies will help you maintain your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Remember: self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary for survival and success. Whether you’re setting boundaries, addressing microaggressions, or leaning on your community, these tools will empower you to thrive despite workplace toxicity. You can read another helpful post on this topic right here

Something To Think About

Unfortunately, we live in a world that continues to exist under both patriarchy and anti-blackness, but rather than waiting for things to “change” there are strategies, tools, etc that we can use to improve our lives. For Black women, that range is a continuum of selfcare strategies and other tools we can employ to thrive rather than just survive. You deserve to work in an environment where you feel valued and respected. One thing to note? That can also include a literal change of environment and or location. The real question becomes, what’s the best toolkit/ strategy for you. If you need help or guidance with that, click here.

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A Toxic WorkPlace: A Black Woman’s Guide To Selfcare

5 natural ingredients for healthy hair blog post image

We’re well into the summer, and the dry air, heat, etc can be brutal on those locks sis! Since I’m always on the hunt for natural alternatives, I’ve found 5 natural ingredients for healthy hair, that seem to always score at the top of my list. Climate, stress, diet, etc can really impact the health of your hair. So for me, natural and minimal ingredients are my choice to work to heal and protect my hair and scalp. Natural ingredients will almost always out do those store bought versions that are loaded with chemicals. Have you heard about the latest scandals around some of the brands marketing to black women? Yeah, you know the ones that are accused of containing harmful chemicals that are possibly cancer causing? Well, today I’m highlighting 5 natural ingredients for healthy hair, in a simple DIY recipe. My list/ recipe came about from my own journey and simply what has worked best for me.

My beef with the hair care (and beauty) industry 

The hair care industry is full of products that promise to bring life back into dull, lifeless hair. However, many of these products are filled with harsh chemicals that can damage your hair in the long run. This is why I prefer more natural alternatives. For my hair care journey, I’ve found that a mix of rosemary essential oil, aloe Vera juice, tea tree oil, sweet almond oil, and filtered water work for me. I love how it soothes and moisturizes my hair and scalp.

About this recipe

This is just one recipe that can provide hair with numerous benefits that will leave you with healthy, shiny, and vibrant locks. Since I have low porosity coily hair, this works for me in addition to using a good cleansing shampoo that removes buildup and product. However, always consult your dermatologist/healthcare provider for sensitivities, allergens, etc. I’ve found that more expensive does not necessarily equal effective or beneficial and less is more. Educate yourself about your hair and embrace your hair because it needs love too.

More about the industry 

It seems that everyone is eager to make money at women’s expense, and even more so, when it comes to Black women. There is no reason, why hair products marketed specifically to us, should be super expensive, other than being greedy and exploitative. This means we need to do our due diligence by researching these products and working with specialists if necessary. Also, recognize that diet and nutrition play a huge role in hair health. While I tend to stick with mostly my DIY recipes, I don’t skimp on high quality hair care brands that are safe. I specifically look for brands that are entirely Black owned with good ingredients. Remember, that this is “my” list of ingredients that work for me, so again, do your own research.

Rosemary Essential Oil

Rosemary essential oil is a potent ingredient that helps to improve hair growth and reduce hair loss. This oil is rich in antioxidants and has antiseptic properties that can help to soothe an irritated scalp. It also helps to improve blood circulation, which can lead to healthier hair growth. You can check another recipe when you click here!

Aloe Vera Juice

Aloe Vera juice is a well-known ingredient that is often used in hair care products. This juice contains various nutrients and enzymes that can help to strengthen hair, reduce breakage, and promote hair growth. It also helps to moisturize the scalp and reduce dandruff.

Tea Tree Oil

Tea tree oil is a popular ingredient that is often used to treat various scalp conditions such as dandruff, itching, and flakiness. This oil is also known to improve hair growth and strengthen hair strands. It has antiseptic properties that can help to unclog hair follicles, which can lead to healthier hair growth.

Rounding out my list of ingredients

Sweet Almond Oil

Sweet almond oil is a luxurious ingredient that can help to nourish and hydrate the scalp and hair. This oil is rich in vitamin E and fatty acids, which can help to improve hair health and promote hair growth. It also helps to prevent breakage and split ends, leaving your hair looking healthy and vibrant.

Filtered Water

Filtered water is essential for keeping your hair healthy and hydrated. This type of water is free from impurities, which can help to reduce hair breakage and promote healthy hair growth. It also helps to prevent damage to the hair cuticles, which can lead to shiny and smooth locks.

Some final thoughts

using a mix of rosemary essential oil, aloe Vera juice, tea tree oil, sweet almond oil, and filtered water can provide your hair with numerous benefits that will leave you with healthy, shiny, and vibrant locks. This natural alternative is a great way to avoid harsh chemicals and give your hair the care it deserves. So, why not try it out today and experience the benefits for yourself?

Summing it all up

Incorporating these sources into your research can help to provide a deeper understanding of the hair benefits of using a mix of rosemary essential oil, aloe vera, tea tree oil, sweet almond oil, and filtered water. By using these natural ingredients, you can improve the health of your hair without exposing it to harsh chemicals. I typically use these 5 natural ingredients for healthy hair, to boost vibrancy and help soothe my sensitive scalp. But again, everyone’s scalp is different and it’s best to work as a team with your dermatologist or provider, especially if you have issues.

Hair care is selfcare

Having said all of that, I need us to start normalizing hair care as selfcare! There is so much that we as women, tie to our hair. For Black and other women of color, there are deep cultural roots associated with our hair care practices. Additionally, in a country built on structural and institutional racism, discrimination, etc, it’s no wonder that many Black women still have little understanding of selfcare.

Wrapping it up

Similar to healthcare disparities in our medical system, access to selfcare as a practice, is a privilege many could only dream of. Coupled to that, it’s not until recent years, that women have become a lot more vocal about the need for selfcare and work-life balance. You can read the article I wrote a bit ago, right here.

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More about the essential oils I mentioned

  1. Rosemary Essential Oil: Uses, Benefits, and Precautions” by Dr. Josh Axe. This source provides an in-depth look at the benefits of rosemary essential oil and how it can improve hair health. It also discusses the various ways in which rosemary essential oil can be used to achieve healthier hair.
  2. Aloe Vera Juice: The Ultimate Solution for Dry and Damaged Hair” by The Indian Spot. This source provides information on the benefits of using aloe Vera juice in hair care and how it can improve the overall health of your hair. It also includes tips on how to use aloe Vera juice for maximum results.

Other sources

  1. Tea Tree Oil for Hair: Benefits and How to Use” by Healthline. This source gives an overview of the benefits of tea tree oil for hair and improving hair health. It also includes information on the potential side effects of using tea tree oil and how to use it safely.
  2. The Benefits of Sweet Almond Oil for Hair” by StyleCraze. This source provides a comprehensive overview of the benefits of sweet almond oil for hair. Also, it addresses how it can be used to improve hair health. Furthermore, it includes tips on using sweet almond oil for maximum results and how it can be incorporated into your hair care routine.

5 Natural Ingredients for Healthy Hair

Selfcare for black women blog feature image

The big deal about emergency selfcare for women 

Things are rapidly changing across the globe and many of the issues and challenges that are unique to women, continue to grow. From socio-political unrest to domestic violence, women, children and the elderly are at the forefront.  This makes it critically important that emergency selfcare for black women, include plans and strategies. They also need to be put in place regardless of where you are in the world. Racism and anti-blackness is global and we as Black women need to have or create contingency plans. It also  means having a plan, A, B, and C, if it comes to that.

A sign of the times

Not to sound alarmist, but we all remember how January 6th went down, after the last presidential election and things are far more toxic. Given the state of the economy in the discontent in the U.S., rolling back of women’s and Black voting rights, it’s clear communities of color need to have their own contengencies in place. This is especially true for the Black community, given the violent and oppressive history of this country.

More on the realities of 2024 politics in the U.S.A

Given the political climate, it’s no surprise that Black women need to have additional safety and security plans as well. Patriarchy is still a major player globally, and exacerbates the institutionalized racism and discrimination that is foundational to this nation. So what can the average Black woman do to ensure she has relative safety, security, etc, if she’s not one of the privileged few, who’ve either left, leaving or have a geographic exit plan? Check out an earlier related article here. Like it or not, emergency selfcare for black women is critical to thriving beyond 2024.

Keeping it real about selfcare and personal safety as a Black woman

While America has a lot of problems, it’s also true that the us does not have a monopoly on racism and anti-blackness. That being said, the average BIPOC person, is living their lives and navigating as best as possible. Many of us are doing well, but far too many in the Black community are struggling, especially Black women. The dark spectre of patriarchy and misogyny means that Black women have even more barriers to navigate and fight against. This is true in all dimensions of society and culture. When you add in the current racial tensions, socio-economic discontent as well as the escalated violence against women in general, the long term effects can be very harmful and damaging.

The continued need for selfcare

This is why selfcare must be centered in the life of every woman and girl. Yes, selfcare is important for everyone, but the reality is that women have been conditioned and arguably, brainwashed. Many have been conditioned into believing that their exhaustion and marginalization is normal and a reasonable price to pay for a “acceptance and protection” within society.  As patriarchy continues to violently oppress women in response to women demanding autonomy and equal rights, safety and security needs to be amplified in any selfcare toolkit.

Our experinece

This is where emergency selfcare for Black women becomes a “thing”! Having a plan that includes self defense, personal safety hacks, etc become even more important at a time when socio-political unrest is a possibility. History continues to remind us, that as a collective, contingencies are necessary in order to not just survive, but to thrive. For more on this, you can watch my YouTube video here

Some things to have as part of your selfcare emergency toolkit/plan 

  1. Create an emergency carry all (aka go bag)
  2. Important documents (for yourself and your dependents)
  3. valid passport (and passport card)
  4. List of important medications
  5. Emergency evacuation plan
  6. List of important phone numbers
  7. List of safe locations in the event that geolocation needs to be executed
  8. Important community members and contacts
  9. Important electronics (including accessories, chargers, batteries, etc)
  10. Adaptive Mindfulness practices, wellness routines, etc
  11. Community resources

Emergency selfcare for black women blog Pinterest image

Additional resources (U.S.A):

1. https://www.ready.gov/publications

One more thing

For more strategies and tips, be sure to subscribe and follow me on social right here!

Emergency Selfcare For Black Women

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Black women are realizing they have options

It’s been a long time coming but for a variety of reasons more black women are traveling the world and even choosing to become permanent expats. Statistically, black women are some of the highest educated and accomplished folks in the United States. Arguably, social media and other platforms have also played a role in this trend. By connecting more women to communities across the globe, they are being shown that they too, have options. Navigating the realities of anti-blackness and institutionalized racism, black women are beginning to reevaluate the whole notion of the American dream. Additionally, the covid pandemic drove home some hard truths about healthcare disparities, inequity, work-life balance, etc .

What black women found out during the pandemic

Black women working in the service industry and frontline jobs faced unique challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many worked in sectors with higher exposure to the virus, such as healthcare, retail, and hospitality. They often experienced higher rates of job insecurity, reduced hours, and increased health risks.

Moreover, the closure of schools and increased caregiving responsibilities disproportionately affected black women, as they were more likely to be single parents or primary caregivers. The digital divide also posed challenges for remote work and education, further exacerbating disparities.

Who was the most impacted by the pandemic

Generally, women were disproportionately affected in terms of job losses, increased caregiving responsibilities, and challenges accessing healthcare. These impacts were often more pronounced in lower-income communities and sectors with a high representation of women.

What the pandemic has revealed to black women

However, black women  were the hardest hit in service and many frontline roles. They often faced a combination of economic, health, and caregiving challenges, highlighting the intersectionality of gender and race and the impact of the pandemic. Remember, most service based, healthcare, and education, etc professions are largely women, particularly black and other women of color. Given the socio-cultural, history and politics of the U.S., it’s no great surprise that these groups were the most negatively impacted by the pandemic.

What this meant for black women (both in and outside the workplace)

As the politics and seedy underbelly of America’s past raises its head, black women are realizing that, the very progress that has been made in terms of social justice, equality and gender equity, are being rolled back. With that knowledge comes the need to create community and resources for addressing this reality. One of the consequences of this is the trending exodus of black women from the U.S. and, an exploration of the world in search of better options. Traveling the world is a movement and a response to the realities of a nation that refuses to address its own issues.

Black women traveling as a form of selfcare

Black women traveling the world is a powerful manifestation of recognizing that you have options and resourcefulness, is your middle name. For black women, travel as well as even becoming permanent expats, is also a form of selfcare and selflove. For most black Americans, the U.S. is the toxic and traumatic ex you want to ditch. Well, for black women tired of laboring on behalf of everyone else, they are choosing to go with another option. That option is travel and, in some cases, expatriation to places across the globe that will allow us to thrive in relative safety and security. Read my latest post on my Merida selfcare vacation right here!

More on selfcare for Black women

As a collective, Black people have always been explorers and travelers, for centuries. That remains true, even today. Some is due to political and economic distress, and some is by choice. More recently, Black women are adding travel and exploration to their selfcare toolkit. For many, travel is a release and escape from unchecked capitalism, institutional racism, workplace toxicity, and marginalization. Selfcare has become a revolutionary act for a lot of Black women. Particularly, those who are awakening to the fact that they don’t have to stay in spaces where they are unsafe and marginalized. Yes, it’s a “privilege” for many of us in the West, but that too is changing for women globally as more women expand their selfcare toolkits. Make no mistake; not every “selfcare” toolkit requires travel. A simple change of physical location, a safe space, etc, will also suffice.

Final thoughts

Yes, racism and anti-blackness are global. However, when it comes to “degrees” of this ish, the USA , has a monopoly. The fact that this poison is so foundational and intertwined with the history of this country, is daunting. The work, blood, and  sacrifices that Black people have put into this country is something this nation is yet to reconcile. Against that context, Black women have toiled and sacrificed enough, and many have decided that it’s time to lay down the super woman cape and focus on healing and thriving. This journey of selfcare and selflove, is one that many women across the globe are beginning to embrace. Needless to say, those who have exploited female labor, reproduction, etc are not pleased. The rollback of women’s rights globally, rape culture, attacks on women’s reproductive rights, etc, are all in response to women coming together to reclaim their place in humanity.

Black women traveling the world blog pin

Black Women Traveling The World

Selfcare Merida Vacation

Reflections on my Selfcare vacation

I’m closing out my selfcare Merida vacation by making sure I hit some of the local sights. Manifesto coffee does not disappoint here in centro historical de Merida. It’s got cute and cozy vibes coupled with a sense of safety that I typically don’t feel in the United States. The vibes, service and menu are just what I was craving. Selfcare is also about curating both your space and your vibe. For me, hanging out here to people watch, blog and just exist in a chill space, was part of that experience. While there are spaces that are similarly quaint in the U.S. and anti-blackness is global, my experience here as a Black woman, was unmatched!

My perspectives as a Black woman

For instance, while I consider myself to be a mindful and vigilant  female traveler, the sense of safety and ease as a black woman, is unmatched here. There’s no veiled hostility, micro aggression vibes, or wondering if I’ll need to break out the pepper spray for some guy who can’t handle a simple “no” or “not interested”.  Also, I don’t have to worry about the next random mass shooting here either! Needless to say, this selfcare Merida vacation was definitely needed.

The Merida vibes

While Merida may have lost it’s spot at the top as the second safest city in North America, the fact remains that it is an awesome place to just rest, replenish and exist without the collective trauma one experiences living life on the daily in the US. It’s only when one has the opportunity to travel beyond our immediate bubble, that we realize the crazy toxic rat race we live in is not normal (You can get some great ideas from one of my previous post here)!  On a side note,  Yes, there is racism in Mexico.  But, the American version is so poisonous and foundational to its structures.

Adding to your selfcare toolkit

A lot of times, it’s not enough to just take a few days off from the rat race. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your mental and emotional health is to, leave! Changing your physical environment can be extremely therapeutic and healing. For instance, taking something similar to my Selfcare Merida vacation, can be just what the doctor ordered. Not only does a change of location remove you from stresses in your environment, it gives you the space to focus on yourself. Society and culture have conditioned women to put the needs and desires of others, ahead of their own. It also reinforces this lack of care through guilt, religion, etc. All of this, is unhealthy and unstainable.

A few studies and thoughts

There are several recent studies to address the impact of racism, gender inequality, etc on women, particularly Black women. For all the skeptics out there, you can read about it in this article by Allana T. Forde PhD, MPH et.al. Another article by Stephanie Brooks, et.al studies this from the lens of gender. Since institutional racism, discrimination, etc is not going away anytime soon, the key is to have strategies in place. Having a selfcare toolkit is a life-saving solution to not just survive, but to thrive.  Unfortunately, now more than ever, women are facing rollbacks of human rights, bodily autonomy, gender-based violence, etc. While this was also true in the past, technology and women pushing back against patriarchy, misogyny, racism, etc has escalated the dangers faced by women.

More thoughts on this

The reality is, freedom, self-determination and equality, will always face pushback from those who benefit from both oppression and inequality. When it comes to female labor, reproduction, resources, etc, exploiters/oppressive institutions, will always resort to violence in some form, in order to maintain dominance. With this in mind, women, globally, must utilize all aspects of selfcare and expand what it means, in order to address our current state. Sounds radical; I know, you weren’t expecting “this” version of selfcare. The version of selfcare that’s pedaled on mainstream social media, does not live here! My selfcare Merida vacation, was designed to heal, decompress and shore up my protections against all of what we face as women, especially as a Black woman.

Final thoughts

While my selfcare Merida vacation might be seen as a privilege (I recognize that my privilege in being to be able to expand my selfcare in this manner), we all must plan and define what goes into our own life-saving, selfcare toolkits. It is individual and tailored to meet the unique needs of each woman across the globe. Is it environmental safety? Is it physical protection/safety? Yes, all of these things should be considered when building your toolkit. As a selfcare and health coach for Black women over 40, this is something I do for myself as well as my clients. We live in an era of both tremendous change as well as real danger for women everywhere. Move strategically ladies!

My Selfcare Merida vacation: Why every woman needs one like it!

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Selfcare and the realities of setting boundaries for black women

It’s hard enough learning and setting boundaries, as a woman. As usual, when it comes to black women living and existing in America, that becomes even more of a challenge. Black women are exhausted but still expected to show up 100% at home and in the workplace. For the average black woman, there is no room for selfcare or taking a mental health day. Often times, they are expected by society and culture to exist and toil for the benefit of others and that, in itself should be reward enough!

Some observations about selfcare as a black woman

 The struggle is real and can often seem daunting especially when you consider all of the intersections that we as black women have to navigate daily. Also, historically and culturally, women have been conditioned to allow others to access our labour and resources to the point of exhaustion, if not death. As a matter of fact, it has been so normalized that when we start reclaiming our power and setting boundaries, they are often met with resistance and hostility from unexpected places. It does not matter that Black women are exhausted, stressed and many in poor health due to a lack of selfcare and setting boundaries.

It starts in the mind

I hate to sound cliche but selfcare, selflove, etc regardless of where you are in the world, begins in the mind! It’s also why so many “forces” (i.e. patriarchy, misogyny, etc) don’t want women to access selfcare and are so violently opposed to these concepts. While patriarchy and misogny(noir) are not new-they’ve been in operation for millennia, what is new is the global awakening of women. In order to access selfcare and selflove, you have to first become self aware.

What does that mean?

What this means is that, Black women are coming to the realization that we are human before our we are women, and we don’t need to prove our worth to anyone. It also means freeing our minds from the societal and cultural indoctrination (domestication) that has gaslit women into thinking they don’t deserve to live autonomously or have the right to pursue their dreams, grow, etc.

Black women are exhausted and have been so, for a long time

For much of our time here in North America, particularly here in the U.S., black women have been the proverbial “canaries in the coal mines” of society and culture. Our labour, resources and energy have been siphoned from us, without our consent. The few occasions when consent has been granted it was often under duress or outright deception. Now, the tide is changing as black women and women globally awaken to reclaim their autonomy, resources and power. Needless to say, those who have long benefited from the subjugation of women, are in violent opposition and unhappy to say the least.

Black women at the intersection of patriarchy and white supremacy

Because of patriarchy and white supremacy, Black women have historically borne the brunt of inequity and discrimination. As a result, we’ve been disproportionately affected by the impacts of these poisonous systems and their institutions. Whether it is maternal health outcomes, treatment in the justice system, etc, Black women are the most harmed. In short, Black women are exhausted from the seemingly never ending task of navigating these systems and conditions. Awakening to these realities, rather than remaining on the hamster wheel going no where, is the beginning of the selfcare journey!

A brief reminder of her-story

Arguably, women globally have been the observers and harbingers of what’s coming as we have watched patriarchy destroy both humanity and the planet. Women are relearning “her-story” and coming to realize that we have been lied to and outright bamboozled!  Yes, before all of “this” we had power, were builders, and protectors of both humanity and the planet. In short, equality and equity have always translated into alignment and universal balance as it is the universal order of things.

Selfcare strategies to save your mind and body

Being a woman is unlike anything in the universe and we need to start walking in our power and truth. To begin to do that, we need each need selfcare strategies and tools that we help us thrive and not just survive on this blue globe! Our default does not have be exhaustion,stress and dis-ease. Consistent selfcare means a reduction in stress, fatigue and illness. It also means a far better quality of life and the ability to focus on those interests that elevate our lives. Research has shown that repeated stress, trauma, etc age and cause disease in all areas of the body. This also impacts our mental health status. You can read more on selfcare right here!

So why the shift?

The shift is taking place as more and more black women connect globally. Through social media and other platforms, black women are not just sharing stories and experiences, we are sharing knowledge. As more of awaken to the damages and lies of patriarchy, misogyny and anti-blackness, we are moving strategically. With knowledge and healing comes the ability to get off the altar of other people’s expectations. In this way, we reclaim our health, dreams and passions. Global politics, especially as it pertains to North America, has been a huge eye opener for black women. As we watch women’s rights be dismantled, the stripping away of reproductive rights, etc, it’s clear to see the writing on the wall. Be sure to tune into my YouTube channel as I really go “in” on this!

Final Thoughts

As more and more black women realize the options available to them globally, the more the fire and fight for true liberation burns. The myth of black excellence, proving yourself to justify your worth, begging for a seat at the table of institutional racism, etc is crumbling. Now, black women are finally beginning to make choices that are in their best interest and most of that is founded on selfcare and healing. Additionally, as more black women to begin to seek therapy, do the internal work, etc,  we can expect the societal impact to hit even harder. Arguably, that’s why those who have benefited from unchecked access to black women’s labor are getting more upset and loud about it. News flash: stay mad!

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Black Women Are Exhausted

exfoliating itchy scalp treatment mask blog feature image

As someone who has sensitive skin and scalp, I’m always on the lookout for natural remedies. I’m not a fan of chemicals so I usually look for natural or herbal remedies to address most issues. This exfoliating itchy scalp treatment mask (and scrub), is my latest win. Now as always, make sure you’re not sensitive or allergic to any of the ingredients and check with your dermatologist, etc.

Something to consider

Are you struggling with an itchy and flaky scalp? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. There are several natural remedies you can use to soothe your scalp and promote healthy hair growth, including an exfoliating scalp treatment mask. This powerful treatment mask is made with several key ingredients, including olive oil, apple cider vinegar, coconut oil, sea salt, coconut sugar, tea tree oil, peppermint oil, and Jamaican black castor oil.

My why for using an exfoliating itchy scalp treatment scrub

Exfoliating your scalp can be beneficial as it helps unclog hair follicles, promote healthy circulation, and reduce itchiness and flakiness. This treatment mask can help soothe your scalp and nourish your hair from the roots to the tips. Let’s explore the benefits of each ingredient used in this exfoliating scalp treatment mask:

  1. Olive oil: Rich in antioxidants and fatty acids, olive oil can help nourish and moisturize the scalp, while also reducing inflammation and promoting healthy hair growth.
  2. Apple cider vinegar: Contains acetic acid, which can help balance the pH of the scalp and reduce dandruff and itchiness. It also has antimicrobial properties that can help prevent bacterial and fungal infections.
  3. Coconut oil: One of the most popular natural haircare ingredients, coconut oil can help moisturize and nourish the scalp and hair, while also reducing inflammation and preventing breakage.
  4. Sea salt: A natural exfoliant, sea salt can help remove dead skin cells and other impurities from the scalp, while also stimulating blood flow and promoting healthy hair growth.
  5. Coconut sugar: Like sea salt, coconut sugar can also act as an exfoliant, helping to remove dead skin cells and promote healthy circulation in the scalp.
  6. Tea tree oil: Known for its antibacterial and antifungal properties, tea tree oil can help reduce inflammation and prevent scalp infections, while also promoting healthy hair growth.
  7. Peppermint oil: Has a cooling and soothing effect on the scalp, making it a great ingredient for reducing itchiness and irritation. It also has antimicrobial properties that can help prevent scalp infections.
  8. Jamaican black castor oil: Rich in fatty acids and vitamin E, Jamaican black castor oil can help nourish and moisturize the scalp, while also promoting healthy hair growth and reducing breakage.

Here’s what I use in my recipe

To make this exfoliating scalp treatment mask, simply mix these ingredients together, apply it to your scalp, leave it on for 10-15 minutes, and then rinse it off. Repeat this treatment once a week for best results. By using natural ingredients, you can create a powerful scalp treatment mask that nourishes and rejuvenates your skin and hair.

Here are a few benefits for 4C hair  (I hate using this term by the way)

  1. Moisturizing: 4C hair is known for being extremely dry and brittle, and this scalp treatment mask can help provide deep hydration and moisture to the scalp and hair, reducing the risk of breakage and promoting healthy hair growth.
  2. Soothing: 4C hair can also be prone to itchiness and irritation, and the peppermint oil and tea tree oil in this treatment mask can help soothe the scalp and reduce inflammation, providing relief from discomfort.
  3. Detangling: The nourishing ingredients in this treatment mask can help detangle and soften 4C hair, making it easier to manage and reducing the risk of breakage during styling.
  4. Promotes Hair Growth: By unclogging hair follicles and promoting healthy circulation, this scalp treatment mask can also help stimulate hair growth in 4C hair. The Jamaican black castor oil, in particular, is known for its hair growth-promoting properties and can help thicken and strengthen 4C hair.

Overall, using an exfoliating scalp treatment mask on a regular basis can help 4C hair become healthier, stronger, and more manageable. It gives a range of benefits, from deep hydration and moisture to soothing irritation and promoting healthy hair growth, making it a great addition to any 4C haircare routine.

Exfoliating itchy scalp treatment mask Pinterest pin

Bottom line?  Exfoliating your scalp is a simple yet effective way to promote healthy hair growth and reduce itchiness and flakiness. By using this exfoliating itchy scalp treatment mask, you can nourish and rejuvenate your scalp and hair, promoting healthy circulation and reducing the risk of scalp infections. Also, check another awesome recipe for 4C hair right here.

Exfoliating Itchy Scalp Treatment Mask

feature image for selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day post

Let me start by asking, can we normalise selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day? I’m like really! It’s a new year and that tired idea of “treating” yourself and calling it selfcare, is old and pathetic at this point. Not only that, it’s costing women their lives, health and happiness! Selfcare has become an increasingly popular term in recent years, but it’s often associated with special occasions like Valentine’s Day. While it’s great to have a day to celebrate love and self-love, the truth is that selfcare is a year-round practice, and it’s something that every woman needs!

The reality of it all

Normalising selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day means recognising that taking care of yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity. It means making self-care a regular part of your daily routine and prioritising it just as much as you would any other important task.

So, how can you normalise self-care beyond Valentine’s Day? Here are a few tips:

  1. Make it a daily habit

Selfcare doesn’t have to be fancy or grand. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to do something that makes you feel good. This could be anything from taking a relaxing bath to practicing yoga to reading a book. The key is to make it a daily habit, so it becomes a natural part of your routine.

  1. Find what works for you

Selfcare looks different for everyone, so it’s important to find what works for you. What makes you feel relaxed and rejuvenated? What helps you recharge after a long day? Some people might find solace in nature, while others might prefer meditation. Experiment with different selfcare practices until you find what resonates with you.

  1. Make time for it

One of the biggest barriers to selfcare is time. It’s easy to put off taking care of ourselves when we have so many other things to do. But the truth is, selfcare is just as important as any other task on your to-do list. Make time for it by scheduling it into your day or week. Treat it like an important appointment that you can’t miss.

Some more tips on selfcare

  1. Let go of guilt

Many women feel guilty about taking time for themselves. We’re conditioned to put others’ needs before our own, but selfcare is not selfish or incidental. It’s critical for our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Let go of the guilt and give yourself permission to prioritise selfcare.

  1. Create a support system

Selfcare is more fun and effective when you do it with others. Create a support system of friends or family members who are also committed to prioritising selfcare. You can share ideas, motivate each other, and hold each other accountable.

Bottom line, normalising selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day is about recognising that taking care of yourself is a year-round practice. It’s about making self-care a daily habit, finding what works for you, making time for it, letting go of guilt, and creating a support system. By prioritizing self-care, you’ll not only feel better but also be better equipped to handle the challenges that come your way.

Priorities ladies!

I can’t say it enough; selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day needs to be your mantra for the rest of the year. It’s not you being needy, whinny, or some other socio-cultural shaming terminology. This is you making your health and well being, the center of how you move through this world.  For some concrete tips and ideas for creating your own selfcare routine, read this earlier viral post right here!
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Barriers to selfcare for Black and other women of color 

1.  Lack of representation

Women of color may feel that the mainstream wellness industry does not represent their needs and preferences. The lack of representation can lead to feeling excluded, invisible, and not valued. It can also lead to difficulty finding resources that are culturally sensitive and appropriate.

2.  Intersectional discrimination

Women of colour, especially Black women face multiple forms of discrimination, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism. These forms of oppression can cause stress, anxiety, and trauma, which can make it difficult to prioritise self-care.

  1. Systemic barriers

Women of colour may face systemic barriers to accessing self-care resources, such as limited financial resources, lack of affordable and accessible healthcare, limited access to healthy food options, and lack of safe and supportive environments.

Other barriers to consider

  1. Caregiving responsibilities

Women of colour are often expected to take on caregiving responsibilities for their families and communities, which can make it challenging to find time for self-care. The pressure to put others’ needs before their own can lead to feelings of guilt and self-neglect.

  1. Mental health stigma

Women of colour may face stigma and shame around mental health, which can prevent them from seeking help and support. The fear of being perceived as weak or vulnerable can lead to self-isolation and a reluctance to engage in self-care practices that may benefit their mental health.

My final thoughts

Let’s start a clean slate for this new season by recognising that women are facing a global health crisis. That crisis is the absence of selfcare that has become even more critical in a global system of patriarchy, anti-blackness and misogyny.  For women of colour, they’re are additional barriers to selfcare that need to be recognised and addressed. These barriers include lack of representation, intersectional discrimination, systemic barriers, caregiving responsibilities, and mental health stigma. By acknowledging and addressing these barriers, we can create a better world for all women across the globe! Also, check out this short post more selfcare ideas for newbies!

Selfcare Beyond Valentine’s Day

Safety and security first

I’m always surprised at how many women don’t know safety and security go hand in hand with selfcare. Selfcare is an essential tool for Black women to navigate the unique challenges they face in the world. However, selfcare is often thought of as being limited to physical and mental wellness, without considering the importance of personal safety in our selfcare. Safety and self care go together sis! In this context, security includes feeling safe in one’s environment, having access to resources, and feeling financially stable. These elements are essential for Black women to truly take care of themselves and improve their overall well-being. On one small note, this post may contain Amazon affiliate links from which I will receive a small percentage!

One of the key ways in which security can be a pillar of selfcare for black women is by ensuring that they feel safe in their environment. This means feeling safe in their homes, workplaces, and communities. Black women are disproportionately affected by crime and violence, and it is essential for them to feel safe in order to engage in self-care activities. This can be done by taking steps to improve personal safety. This means being aware of one’s surroundings, and also advocating for policies that promote safety in Black women’s communities.

 

More context on the idea of safety and security in selfcare

Another way in which security can be a pillar of selfcare for Black women is by ensuring they have access to resources. This includes access to food, housing, healthcare, and education. Black women are disproportionately affected by poverty, and it is essential for them to have access to resources in order to improve their overall well-being. This can be done by advocating for policies that promote economic justice and by seeking out resources in the community.

Security also includes feeling financially stable. Financial stability is an important aspect of self-care for Black women, as it allows them to meet their basic needs, provide for their families, and plan for the future. Financial stability can be achieved by creating a budget, building an emergency fund, and investing in long-term savings.

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Some final thoughts

In conclusion, security is a critical aspect of selfcare for Black women. Black women have unique challenges that need to be addressed in order for them to truly take care of themselves. Security can be achieved by feeling safe in one’s environment, having access to resources, and feeling financially stable. Self-care is not limited to physical and mental wellness, but it should include all aspects of well-being, including security. By including security in their self-care practices, Black women can improve their overall well-being, feel more in control of their lives, and navigate the challenges they face with resilience and determination.

A few tips on how Black women can incorporate security into their selfcare practices

  1. Take steps to improve personal safety. This includes being aware of one’s surroundings, avoiding dangerous areas, and carrying pepper spray or a personal alarm.
  2. Advocate for policies that promote safety in Black women’s communities. This includes supporting initiatives to reduce crime and violence, and advocating for increased funding for community policing programs.
  3. Seek out resources in the community. This includes connecting with local organizations that provide support with food, housing, healthcare, and education.
  4. Create a budget and invest in long-term savings. This includes creating a budget to manage your finances, building an emergency fund, and investing in long-term savings to ensure financial stability.
  5. Seek out therapy or counselling. This includes seeking out therapy or counseling to help you process any trauma or stress that you may be experiencing.
  6. Connect with other Black women for support. An example would be connecting with other Black women in your community, or joining a support group. This can provide a sense of community and support to help you navigate the challenges you face.
  7. Prioritize self-care and make it a regular practice.This means including security as a regular self-care practice, and incorporating it into your daily routine.

An important reminder about security and self care

It’s important to remember that selfcare is a continuous journey that requires patience and consistency. It’s essential to find what works best for you, and to be kind to yourself when implementing these tips. Remember that security is a critical aspect of self-care for Black women, and it’s essential to include it in order to improve overall well-being, feel more in control of one’s life, and navigate the challenges they face with resilience and determination.

Some real life examples of how Black women can incorporate safety and security into their self-care practices

  1. Example 1: A Black woman who lives in a high-crime area can take steps to improve her personal safety. This includes taking a self-defense class, avoiding dangerous areas, and carrying pepper spray or a personal alarm. She can also advocate for policies that promote safety in her community, such as increased funding for community policing programs. Additionally, she can seek out resources in the community, such as counseling or therapy, to help her process any trauma or stress she may be experiencing.
  2. Example 2: A Black woman who is struggling financially can take steps to improve her financial stability. This includes creating a budget, building an emergency fund, and investing in long-term savings. She can also seek out resources in the community, such as job training programs or financial counseling. Additionally, she can connect with other Black women for support, such as joining a support group or connecting with a financial advisor.

Last but not least

It’s important to remember that self-care is a continuous journey that requires patience and consistency. It’s essential to find what works best for you, and to be kind to yourself when implementing these tips. Remember that security is a critical aspect of self-care for Black women, and it’s essential to include it in order to improve overall well-being, feel more in control of one’s life, and navigate the challenges they face with resilience and determination. Also, be sure to check out my virtual book shelf for some of the best books for women this year! Please be safe out there my sistas!

Safety And Security Are Part of Selfcare for Black Women

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