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Apple Cider Vinegar Hair Rinse

Apple Cider Vinegar Hair Rinse

It’s Selfcare weekend again and it’s all about the lovely locks today. This is a time when we’re all looking for ways to save money, but still, keep every part of ourselves healthy. That also includes ensuring that your hair and scalp are well-nourished, balanced, 

The DIY Avocado Fresh Face Mask!

The DIY Avocado Fresh Face Mask!

For me, nothing says self-care like a homemade creamy avocado face mask. My unending love affair with avocados, won’t be over anytime soon, lol! Today I decided to share one of my go-to Avocado face masks that are great for a dewy complexion and a 

The Black Experience In America: Readings

The Black Experience In America: Readings

The Black Experience in America has not been easy! As a result of the civil unrest that we are currently facing, I decided to pull together some books to shed light on this topic. These protests largely brought on by the murder of an unarmed Black man in Minneapolis over a week ago.

I have to say that as a member of the African-American community, it’s been a time of great mourning, anguish, and rage at yet another such incident spanning less than a two month period. In light of these troubling issues surrounding race and human rights here in the US, I feel it’s necessary to provide a helpful collection of books and resources to educate others about the Black experience in America as well as the importance of diversity education in our society.

*Please note that this post may contain affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no cost to you*

A Brief Recap of the incident that led up to this

The Black Experience in America has historically not been an easy one. George Floyd is just one of the thousands of black men, women, and children murdered by racist forces within this nation, over the years. From state-sanctioned killings, alleged lynchings in the South, etc, it’s safe to say that African-Americans are tired. What’s playing out in the media is simply the Black Community crying out, enough! Joined in solidarity by nations throughout the world who have witnessed this latest atrocity in horrific detail, millions of Americans and countless many others world over have risen up in civil disobedience. The Black Experience is full of these sorts of accounts and people are done!

Things are due for a change!

The bill is finally “coming due” on America’s history of systemic racism and discrimination. It’s 2020 and we’re still facing this century’s first global pandemic and this too happens! We are all shocked and dismayed at the killing of yet another unarmed African-American at the hands of “law enforcement”. Yet again, seemingly allowed to take lives both recklessly and without consequence!

Why it’s necessary to discuss the Black Experience right now

To say the stress and uncertainty of the COVID 19 pandemic played a role is an understatement. Without going too far into the woods, most African-Americans will tell you they saw this coming. The Black experience in the United States has been one of slavery, “Jim crowism”, segregation, racial profiling, and outright discrimination. While most Caucasians prior to the killing of George Floyd would say much has changed since America’s past racial atrocities, few can say that with a straight face today.

When we take the time to learn about each and embrace diversity, we learn about ourselves and our shared humanity. Each group has its bad actors but one thing we can all agree on, we are all human and deserve dignity. No one group is better than the other, and COVID 19 has proven to us, that we are all in this together.

Some questions being asked right now:

Many people have asked, how have we come to this? Again, most of us who share in this Black experience will say, why did it take so long to get to this point? To the place where millions of people and hundreds of nations around the world are finally taking action on years of trauma inflicted by a government on a segment of its population? It’s safe to assume that many who are reading this post right now, are feeling uncomfortable and even offended.  The good news is that if this makes you uncomfortable, it means your mythological bubble of an “equal” America has been shaken up!

The uncomfortable truth America needs to face regarding the Black Experience

So what’s the solution? Here’s the thing,  REAL CHANGE is rarely if ever, about being comfortable. Until America owns the fact that it was built on the backs of Black Africans brought to these shores, brutalized, raped, and sold like chattel, very little will change. Let’s not forget the hundreds of Native Americans who have also been disenfranchised and marginalized with a history that is equally as horrifying as that of the Black experience to date.

This is not to say that things have not improved from those nightmarish days of slavery. However, these same destructive structures that existed then, have yet to be dismantled and restitution made. Needless to say, that is something that needs deeper discussion! We can all agree there’s work that needs to be done to address these grievances and a good place to start is to learn about the black experience in America. Through our literature and discourse, others can share our experiences and listen to our stories and so much more.

Black America’s anger and hurt are justified

America is long overdue when it comes to doing right by the descendants of those stolen from their homelands to be slaves in a foreign land. Nearly 50 years after his assassination,  Malcolm X’s words ring even louder in 2020. Back then and even now, White America has struggled with these issues.  Malcolm X’s words are true when he said: White Americans to cling to the myth that ” American society is essentially hospitable to fair play and steady growth toward a middle-class Utopia embodying racial harmony. But unfortunately, this is a fantasy of self-deception and comfortable vanity.”

My final thoughts and recommendations

I could say so much more about the gut-wrenching emotional roller coaster I’ve been on; the praying and yes, my rage that MY PEOPLE are still fighting for equality and justice in 2020. I take little solace in the fact that in other parts of the world, Europe included, POC continue to fight similar battles for equality and basic human rights.

The Coronavirus has stripped the United States bare of its masks, platitudes, and wilful blindness. I remain hopeful that the US will seize this opportunity for meaningful change during this dark time in our history. Change is inevitable and if we are to grow and evolve into the best version of ourselves, we must do the work both individually and collectively!

Time for a re-set?

This is a re-set; a time for meaningful progress and creating pathways towards healing the trauma suffered by those who have been discriminated against and marginalized in our society. It’s truly time to tear down all of the racist and xenophobic structures that have brought this nation to its knees. Healing begins with acknowledgment, structural change, and yes, restitution.

 

With that in mind here is a list to help you begin to learn more about the Black Experience

  1. The Fire Nex Time, by James Baldwin
  2. Freedom Is a Constant Struggle, by Angela Y. Davis
  3. White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard For White People To Talk About Racism, by Robin Diangelo
  4. Women Race & Class, Angela Y. Davis
  5. Between The World And Me, by Ta-Nehisi Coates
  6. Fierce Angels, by Sheri Parks

feature image for the black experience in America: essential readings

A few things before you go

I’m always adding to my collection of recommended must-reads so stay stunned for more right here!

To further help you along, here’s a link to my ever-expanding virtual bookshelf where you can grab your copy of all or some of these insightful books right here!

Expanding our mental horizons makes us all better humans and at the end of the day, we should all strive toward that goal. While you’re at it, don’t forget to read my must-have women’s book reviews for 2020 right here!

Don’t be a stranger! You can feel free to connect with me on IG  right here  tonyetariahhealth

You can also join my youtube community right here and don’t forget to like and subscribe!

 

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quickly. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

Super Green Recovery Smoothie

Super Green Recovery Smoothie

You probably know I’m a little cray when it comes to smoothies! I like most of my recipes to colorful, loaded with flavor and this super green recovery smoothie does not disappoint! This delicious beverage is loaded with some of my favorite recovery ingredients   

Immunity Boosting Smoothie

Immunity Boosting Smoothie

Have you ever tried an immunity boosting smoothie before? This is a time when everyone should be hyper-aware of their health! Do you realize that our bodies and ultimately our lives, literally depends on our ability to fight off infection and disease? As a child, 

14 Ways To Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

14 Ways To Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

If we’re honest, we all love to get something special for Valentine’s Day! But, have you ever tried gifting yourself with some TLC?  My 14 Ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, flips the script on the usual! Nurture yourself and stop giving from an empty well. To help you get started, I’ve got an introductory list of 14 ways you can show yourself some much needed TLC!

Too many times, we women overlook our own needs and desires in order to tend to those around us. Experience has shown me that on those “special” days, I need to find meaningful ways to show myself some love, especially on Valentine’s Day. Self-sacrifice is a noble thought, but neglecting your own health and wellness will take you down an ugly path of dissatisfaction, poor health, and burnout.

 

Every year we find new ways to up our romantic game for Valentine’s Day and rarely put ourselves in the equation for some “self” love. Department stores, media outlets, and just about “everyone” out there is trying to sell you something to buy for someone else, as a token of your affection. But I say, how about YOU show yourself some love! Prove to yourself, that you matter. Show yourself that you are more than enough without needing someone else to validate your worth. 14 Ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, helps you do just that!

With that in mind, I’ve pulled together  helpful ways that you can show yourself some TLC. These 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day will help you shift the way you think about yourself as well as begin to set concrete standards (i.e. boundaries) for how you allow yourself to be treated. You can read more about shifting your mindset and ditching the guilt and self-sabotage in one of my earlier posts here.

Carving out space for loving yourself:

  1. Screen your phone calls (keep conversations /interactions with disruptive people to a min, including family members-aka, boundaries)Pick your “yeses”- don’t say yes to everything or everyone; to avoid falling into the “superwoman” trap.
  2. Eat mindfully-savor your food/meals, don’t rush through eating like a truck driver at a truck stop. It’s not healthy and it’s also stressful.
  3. Meditate. As much I moan and groan about this sometimes, taking up meditation is literally life-changing!
  4. However or whenever you do it; sleep. Whether it’s in chunks of 3, 3 hr “naps” per day; it’s critical that you power down enough to get quality sleep.
  5. Take yourself on a “self-date night”! That’s right. Go see a movie, go to dinner, etc by and with yourself. You’ll be amazed at how much this exercise will help you gain self-confidence and a sense of self. It forces you to confront any insecurities you might have about o.p.e and especially the external view of you.
  6. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers. It doesn’t have to be over-the-top pricey, so appreciate the woman you are by treating yourself the way you want to be treated. When you do this, it signals your subconscious to internalize the fact that you are worthy of both love and appreciation. Also, you’re shifting your mindset into one of positivity and gratitude.

These 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day is an ever-growing list of activities that help me remain grounded and mindful.

14 ways to love yourself this valentine's dayHere are some more quick tips on how to love yourself this  Valentine’s Day:

7. Take a social media vacation: yes. Turn off and tune out all social media for at least 24 hrs. In fact, there are a number of studies that support the idea that too much social media surfing negatively impacts mental health and wellness.

8. Take a detox relaxation bath. That’s right ladies! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come home from a long stressful day at work, stripped out of clothes, and jumped in the shower even though what I really wanted was a long relaxing bath.

9. Journal. If you’ve never journaled before, this is a great time to start. You can use this as an opportunity to really have a conversation with your core self. It’s also a great way to help you get in touch with your feeling.

10.  Show some love to the person you see in the mirror today. That’s right. Sit yourself down, gaze into the mirror, and accept everything that you are today, including your imperfections. How do you do this? First, you need to accept the fact that you are far from perfect and that’s true for every other person on the planet. Next, speak aloud about everything you have accomplished to date and express your gratitude for this day.

Here are a few more ideas to round out your Valentine’s Day self-love session:

11.  Get creative! Yes, this is a great time to really dig into your inner creativity; we’ve all got it. It can be something as simple as trying out a new recipe from Pinterest or your favorite cookbook to painting a nature scene. Whatever you do, make sure it’s something that sparks your inner child.

12.  Touch every part of you. All right, here is where we’re digging deep and headed into some not so comfortable places. By this I mean, wrap your arms around yourself, and speak loving words of appreciation and acceptance to yourself about your body. You can either stand or sit in front of a mirror or find a meditation space.

13.  Deliberately structure a day for yourself alone. This is an important exercise. Don’t call any loved ones, friends, acquaintances, etc just be very deliberate about structuring a day that is fully dedicated to your own needs (and I don’t mean running errands or to-dos). Use this 24 hour period “mindfully” engage with your inner self; digging into those areas of yourself that you’ve neglected. Next, after taking the time to do this, end the day with a ceremonial (i.e. deep breathing exercise accompanied by a personal self-affirmation, etc) activity to seal your intentions.

14. Breathe. Do some deep breathing exercises and keep your mind completely blank. Just, stay in the moment and don’t allow your mind to drift beyond the present. When you do this, you release stress and mental clutter, so try it!

Final Thoughts on How to love yourself this Valentine’s Day (and every other day of the year):

These are just a few ideas for how you can show yourself some love this Valentine’s Day however if it’s a struggle I’m far from surprised. Read up on why it’s so hard for women to self-care and more in one of my earlier posts right here! Here’s another thought: get out of your comfort zone and embark on a self-care retreat to revive, rejuvenate, and empower you! At the end of the day, it’s all about honoring who you are, your needs, and embracing your authentic self. My hope for you is that this list of 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, marks the beginning of your self-care journey.

 

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quickly. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

This Bridge Called My Back: Book Review

This Bridge Called My Back: Book Review

Books worth reading This Bridge Called My Back is one book that I just could not put down. Last summer I spent a large block of time, focusing on reading and personal development. To say it was a journey would be an understatement. Some of 

Unleashing Her Wild: Book Review

Unleashing Her Wild: Book Review

One of the most striking features about “Unleashing Her Wild”  is the level of discomfort and raw truth you experience within these pages. Each story draws you into experience life-changing events for each of these women. I cried and I got angry.  In some instances, 

The Ultimate Superfood Smoothie Recipe

The Ultimate Superfood Smoothie Recipe

My go-to meal on the go!

We all know that we should eat better to live better! But when you’re busy and running around trying to check off all of your to-dos, the quality of the food you put into your “temple”, tends to suffer. I’ve found that a nutrient-dense superfood smoothie is a perfect antidote!

When it comes to making the most out of one meal, I’ve got this one beat! I came up with the ultimate superfood smoothie recipe, out of necessity. Working in healthcare is very stressful and truly is a labor of love. But when it comes to your own self-care, it’s far too easy to neglect your own needs. This is especially true as you tend to those who are sick and require your care. My goal was simple. Pack the most beneficial and powerful nutrients into a simple dense packet that can be quickly consumed on the go!

I did my research, found some of the most powerful superfoods needed to combat a high-stress and high-intensity lifestyle on the go, and tastes good! Voila! A powerhouse-nutrient dense superfood smoothie on the go folks! It tastes good, makes you feel rejuvenated, and helps bring those “fight-or-flight” hormones back into alignment.

For your ultimate superfood smoothie, you will need:

  1. 1/3 tsp of ashwagandha root powder.
  2. 1/2 Tsp of Moringa oleifera leaf powder
  3. 1 level tsp of spirulina
  4. 1 tsp (or 5grams) of Dr. Mercola’s fermented beet powder
  5. 1/3 teaspoon of cinnamon
  6. 1/2 teaspoon of turmeric powder
  7. 1/2 cup frozen or fresh organic berry medley ( also available at trader joe’s)
  8. 8 fluid oz (or 29.57 grams) of almond milk

You can also make this smoothie the day before. I usually just blend the dry ingredients into my smoothie before I dash out at the start of my day.

the ultimate super food smoothie blog post pic

Here are some of the benefits of the main ingredient in my ultimate superfood smoothie:

  1. Ashwagandha-  known to be a highly prized, adaptogenic super root, used frequently in Ayurvedic medicine to increase vitality, relieve stress, and boost brain and cognitive function.
  2. Moringa oleifera leaf powder- the miracle leaf rich in calcium, iron, potassium, and vitamin A as well as all the essential amino acids (comparable to wheatgrass, spiraling and chlorella. It’s also high in protein, vitamin A, calcium, and essential amino acids).
  3. Spirulina- has the highest protein and beta carotene levels of all green superfoods and also has naturally occurring GLA ( Gamma Linolenic Acid), a popular fatty acid with numerous health benefits.
  4. Turmeric- Is known to be an anti-inflammatory powerhouse.

These are just a few of the benefits of incorporating a superfood smoothie into your daily selfcare routine! Also, if you want to find out more about the benefits of these and other spices, check out my recipe for anti-inflammatory detox beverage and more right here!

 

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quickly. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

 

Why Selfcare is difficult For Women

Why Selfcare is difficult For Women

Why Selfcare is difficult for women I know how difficult it is to find time to actually practice self-care. Like most women around the world, each day is usually a constant balancing act of taking care of other people, their expectations, and a whole slew