Normalize Selfcare Beyond The Holidays—Embracing Wellness

Embracing wellness

As we wind down the holiday season this Christmas, let’s remember to selfcare and do it, unapologetically! Now more than ever, it’s critical that women normalize selfcare beyond the holidays. Historically women have carried the emotional, physical and mental labor of caring for others and neglecting themselves. This is especially true of Black women who have disproportionately born the weight of servicing and caring for other people and communities.

A bit of historic context

For those who are “unaware”, the collective of women globally, have carried the weight of catering to the needs of family and community for generations. In the diaspora (Caribbean , North America, etc), black women endured the added burden and trauma of chattel slavery. The patriarchal and racist systems of oppression made selfcare inaccessible to black women.

So, how can you, as a black woman, normalize, decolonize and reclaim selfcare in order to access it’s benefits:

Reframe your committment to making selfcare a daily habit.

Unlike what is often presented in mainstream media, selfcare doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. It is literally a sacred ritual and practice dedicated to honoring your needs and refilling your cup. For black women and other women of color, there are added processes that need to be in place in order to effectively selfcare. First, it must be reframed around our own cultural and ancestral ties. This includes, de-centering both patriarchy and white supremacy. Next, we must recognize the impact of generational trauma on black female bodies and do the work to heal those wounds. Selfcare is therefore more than self nourishment, but a sacred healing ritual that includes a spiritual component as well. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to do something that makes you feel good, a gratitude practice, ancestral remembrance , etc.

Find what works for you

Selfcare looks different for everyone, so it’s important to find what works for you. What makes you feel relaxed and rejuvenated? What helps you recharge after a long day? Some people might find solace in nature, while others might prefer meditation. What about your spiritual practices? Experiment with different selfcare practices or rituals until you find what resonates with you. Also, begin to make space to honor your journey and cultural traditions.

Time is precious and a privilege that a lot of black women don’t have

One of the biggest barriers to selfcare is time. It’s easy to put off taking care of ourselves when we have so many other things to do. But the truth is, selfcare is just as important as any other task on your to-do list. Make time for it by scheduling it into your day or week. Treat it like an important appointment that you can’t miss. Having said that, in order to get the time you need, you might need to lean into employee benefits and resources. When finances are an issue, sometimes community resources are the most beneficial.

Loose that cape sis

As a community, black women have been conditioned to expend and exhaust their labor and energy for the good of others. It’s almost a default state most revert to when challenged to take time to rejuvenate. Guilt, judgement etc. have been baked in as a response to any notion of selfcare-it’s selfish to put yourself before anyone else! We’re conditioned to put others needs before our own, but selfcare is not selfish or incidental. It’s critical for our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Let go of the guilt and give yourself permission to prioritise selfcare. Also, releasing that “cape” will uncover some of the ugly roots of this mindset-it’s a fruit of the “slavery tree”. But that’s a topic for another discussion.

Create a support system you need

Selfcare is more fun and effective when you do it with others. Create a support system of friends or family members who are also committed to prioritising selfcare. You can share ideas, motivate each other, and hold each other accountable. More importantly, create and curate a community of people who share your values and goals. This will go a long way in helping you maintain the life you want. During the holiday season, we often feel the added pressure to “serve” others instead of doing what is right for ourselves and our wellbeing. Instead, let’s use this time to put selfcare beyond the holidays, into operation.

Some final thoughts and considerations

In conclusion, normalizing selfcare beyond the holidays, special occasions, etc. is about recognizing that taking care of yourself, is a year-round thing! Not only that, it is both life saving and life affirming. As Black women, it is critically important not just for healthy living, but for healing as well. Breaking toxic generational cycles, requires selfcare. Ultimately, it’s about making selfcare a daily habit, finding what works for you, making time for it, letting go of guilt, and creating a support system. By prioritizing selfcare, you’ll not only feel better but also be better equipped to handle the challenges that come your way.

At the end of the day, selfcare beyond the holidays, needs to be your mantra for the rest of the year and going forward. It’s not you being needy, whinny, or some other socio-cultural shaming terminology. This is you making your health and well being, the center of how you move through this world.  

Here are just some of the barriers to selfcare for Black and other women of color

It’s important to note that for black women and other women of color, there are other barriers to selfcare that need to be mentioned and here are just a few examples:

A lack of representation

Black Women often express the fact that the mainstream wellness industry does not represent their needs and preferences. The lack of representation can lead to feeling excluded, invisible, and not valued. It can also lead to difficulty finding resources that are culturally sensitive and appropriate.

Intersectional discrimination

Black Women and other women of colour often face multiple forms of discrimination, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism. These forms of oppression cause stress, anxiety, and trauma, which can make it difficult to prioritize self-care.

Systemic barriers

Black women face systemic barriers to accessing self-care resources, such as limited financial resources, lack of affordable and accessible healthcare, limited access to healthy food options, and lack of safe and supportive environments. The stats don’t lie, the health and well being of black women will always be impacted as long as these systems of oppression remain in place. This is also why selfcare, is non negotiable.

Caregiving responsibilities

Here again, black women have historically been expected to take on caregiving responsibilities for their families and communities, which can make it challenging to find time for self-care. The pressure to put others’ needs before their own has led to feelings of guilt and self-neglect.

Mental health stigma

Black women and other woc of color may face stigma and shame around mental health, which can prevent them from seeking help and support. The fear of being perceived as weak or vulnerable can lead to self-isolation and a reluctance to engage in self-care practices that may benefit their mental health. For many of us, the “strong black woman” cape has often led to our demise. The socio-cultural conditioning around putting other peoples needs ahead of our own are rooted in both patriarchy and white supremacy. For black women, it is especially important to de-colonize our mindset around black female bodies in order to facilitate our own healing and replenishment.

Some final thoughts

At the end of the day, as long as patriarchy, misogyny and white supremacy, shape the institutions and Sytems of our world, Black women will need to move strategically.  Normalizing selfcare beyond the holidays for many black women will seem revolutionary because it requires “taking up space”. That means refusing to neglect your own health and wellbeing in a time that has historically called on us to shrink and labor for others. That time is over ladies. There’s hope and a path forward for us and that is- adaptive selfcare. In this time, we reclaim and decolonize this sacred practice. Taking off the cape and refusing to set ourselves on fire to keep others comfortable, is just the beginning. Learning to identify and recognize the Sytems in operation to limit our access to this sacred work, is the next phase. Click here to read more about selfcare for women, here.