Tag black women

Self-Care for Black Women: Thriving in spite of a toxic work place

Navigating a toxic workplace can be overwhelming, especially for Black women who often face additional stressors like microaggressions, bias, and the pressure to overperform. Prioritizing self-care is essential to protecting your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Below, I’m highlighting five key self-care strategies, practical examples, and tools to help you not just survive but thrive!

1. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy

One of the most critical self-care practices in a toxic workplace is learning to set and maintain boundaries. A toxic workplace can drain your energy and blur the lines between personal and professional time. What’s not spoken about enough, is the degree to which these effects are amplified for Black women.

Example: If you’re frequently contacted outside of work hours, politely but firmly communicate that you are unavailable after a certain time. Also, set expectations from the beginning by asking questions and making it known that you’re unavailable outside of work. Don’t allow supervisors, etc to intimidate you into accepting this kind of harmful behavior. I address some strategies for how to go about this right here

Solution-Based Tool: Use apps like “Google Calendar“ or “Todoist“ to schedule your work hours and block off time for yourself. Set reminders to help you stick to these boundaries and prevent burnout.

2. Address Microaggressions with Confidence

Microaggressions—subtle, often unintentional discriminatory comments or behaviors—can chip away at your self-esteem over time. Addressing them can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential to stand up for yourself in a way that maintains your peace.

Example: When someone makes a stereotypical remark, calmly respond with, “I know you may not realize it, but that comment can be hurtful. I’d appreciate it if we could avoid these types of generalizations.”

Solution-Based Tool: “The Microaggressions Tracker” is a tool that allows you to log instances of microaggressions, helping you document patterns and responses over time. This can also assist in identifying recurring issues that may need to be escalated to HR.

3. Practice Mindful Stress Management

Mindfulness and stress management techniques are crucial in navigating toxic environments. Practicing mindfulness helps you stay grounded, even in high-pressure situations.

Example: Before entering a tense meeting, take a few moments to breathe deeply, center yourself, and mentally prepare. You can also take short “breath breaks” during your workday to reset.

Solution-Based Tool: Download meditation apps like “Calm” or “Headspace” to guide you through quick mindfulness exercises or breathing techniques. Even a 5-minute daily practice can make a significant difference in managing stress levels.

4. Build a Support System (and vett folks in your circle)

Finding allies in and out of the workplace is critical. Lean on trusted friends, family members, or professional networks of Black women who understand your experience. This community can offer encouragement, perspective, and advice.

Example: Join online support groups, such as “Sister Circle”, where Black women share resources and discuss coping mechanisms for toxic work environments.

Solution-Based Tool: Use platforms like “LinkedIn” to join professional groups like “Black Women Connect” or “Black Career Women’s Network”. These networks provide mentorship opportunities, career advice, and emotional support. Believe it or not, this will go a long way in helping you feel empowered as you navigate these workplace challenges with confidence and more safety.

5. Prioritize Physical and Mental Health

Your well-being should never take a backseat to a toxic job. Whether it’s through regular exercise, therapy, or simply getting enough sleep, maintaining your health is a form of resistance against burnout. For most of my clients, including myself, this can be one of the most challenging aspects of your selfcare journey as a Black woman. This is where strategy and community really come into play.

Example: Set a weekly routine that includes physical activity, even if it’s just a 30-minute walk during your lunch break. Consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in the unique challenges faced by Black women. It’s extremely important to utilize every available resource both in and outside the workplace (i.e. your EAP, etc).

Solution-Based Tool: Use apps like “BetterHelp” for accessible, affordable online therapy sessions, or try “MyFitnessPal” to track your physical activity and nutrition. Both tools can help you stay accountable and prioritize your health, no matter how busy your schedule gets.

Final Thoughts

While navigating a toxic workplace can be challenging, adopting these self-care strategies will help you maintain your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Remember: self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary for survival and success. Whether you’re setting boundaries, addressing microaggressions, or leaning on your community, these tools will empower you to thrive despite workplace toxicity. You can read another helpful post on this topic right here

Something To Think About

Unfortunately, we live in a world that continues to exist under both patriarchy and anti-blackness, but rather than waiting for things to “change” there are strategies, tools, etc that we can use to improve our lives. For Black women, that range is a continuum of selfcare strategies and other tools we can employ to thrive rather than just survive. You deserve to work in an environment where you feel valued and respected. One thing to note? That can also include a literal change of environment and or location. The real question becomes, what’s the best toolkit/ strategy for you. If you need help or guidance with that, click here.

Black women are realizing they have options

It’s been a long time coming but for a variety of reasons more black women are traveling the world and even choosing to become permanent expats. Statistically, black women are some of the highest educated and accomplished folks in the United States. Arguably, social media and other platforms have also played a role in this trend. By connecting more women to communities across the globe, they are being shown that they too, have options. Navigating the realities of anti-blackness and institutionalized racism, black women are beginning to reevaluate the whole notion of the American dream. Additionally, the covid pandemic drove home some hard truths about healthcare disparities, inequity, work-life balance, etc .

What black women found out during the pandemic

Black women working in the service industry and frontline jobs faced unique challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many worked in sectors with higher exposure to the virus, such as healthcare, retail, and hospitality. They often experienced higher rates of job insecurity, reduced hours, and increased health risks.

Moreover, the closure of schools and increased caregiving responsibilities disproportionately affected black women, as they were more likely to be single parents or primary caregivers. The digital divide also posed challenges for remote work and education, further exacerbating disparities.

Who was the most impacted by the pandemic

Generally, women were disproportionately affected in terms of job losses, increased caregiving responsibilities, and challenges accessing healthcare. These impacts were often more pronounced in lower-income communities and sectors with a high representation of women.

What the pandemic has revealed to black women

However, black women  were the hardest hit in service and many frontline roles. They often faced a combination of economic, health, and caregiving challenges, highlighting the intersectionality of gender and race and the impact of the pandemic. Remember, most service based, healthcare, and education, etc professions are largely women, particularly black and other women of color. Given the socio-cultural, history and politics of the U.S., it’s no great surprise that these groups were the most negatively impacted by the pandemic.

What this meant for black women (both in and outside the workplace)

As the politics and seedy underbelly of America’s past raises its head, black women are realizing that, the very progress that has been made in terms of social justice, equality and gender equity, are being rolled back. With that knowledge comes the need to create community and resources for addressing this reality. One of the consequences of this is the trending exodus of black women from the U.S. and, an exploration of the world in search of better options. Traveling the world is a movement and a response to the realities of a nation that refuses to address its own issues.

Black women traveling as a form of selfcare

Black women traveling the world is a powerful manifestation of recognizing that you have options and resourcefulness, is your middle name. For black women, travel as well as even becoming permanent expats, is also a form of selfcare and selflove. For most black Americans, the U.S. is the toxic and traumatic ex you want to ditch. Well, for black women tired of laboring on behalf of everyone else, they are choosing to go with another option. That option is travel and, in some cases, expatriation to places across the globe that will allow us to thrive in relative safety and security. Read my latest post on my Merida selfcare vacation right here!

More on selfcare for Black women

As a collective, Black people have always been explorers and travelers, for centuries. That remains true, even today. Some is due to political and economic distress, and some is by choice. More recently, Black women are adding travel and exploration to their selfcare toolkit. For many, travel is a release and escape from unchecked capitalism, institutional racism, workplace toxicity, and marginalization. Selfcare has become a revolutionary act for a lot of Black women. Particularly, those who are awakening to the fact that they don’t have to stay in spaces where they are unsafe and marginalized. Yes, it’s a “privilege” for many of us in the West, but that too is changing for women globally as more women expand their selfcare toolkits. Make no mistake; not every “selfcare” toolkit requires travel. A simple change of physical location, a safe space, etc, will also suffice.

Final thoughts

Yes, racism and anti-blackness are global. However, when it comes to “degrees” of this ish, the USA , has a monopoly. The fact that this poison is so foundational and intertwined with the history of this country, is daunting. The work, blood, and  sacrifices that Black people have put into this country is something this nation is yet to reconcile. Against that context, Black women have toiled and sacrificed enough, and many have decided that it’s time to lay down the super woman cape and focus on healing and thriving. This journey of selfcare and selflove, is one that many women across the globe are beginning to embrace. Needless to say, those who have exploited female labor, reproduction, etc are not pleased. The rollback of women’s rights globally, rape culture, attacks on women’s reproductive rights, etc, are all in response to women coming together to reclaim their place in humanity.

Selfcare and the realities of setting boundaries for black women

It’s hard enough learning and setting boundaries, as a woman. As usual, when it comes to black women living and existing in America, that becomes even more of a challenge. Black women are exhausted but still expected to show up 100% at home and in the workplace. For the average black woman, there is no room for selfcare or taking a mental health day. Often times, they are expected by society and culture to exist and toil for the benefit of others and that, in itself should be reward enough!

Some observations about selfcare as a black woman

 The struggle is real and can often seem daunting especially when you consider all of the intersections that we as black women have to navigate daily. Also, historically and culturally, women have been conditioned to allow others to access our labour and resources to the point of exhaustion, if not death. As a matter of fact, it has been so normalized that when we start reclaiming our power and setting boundaries, they are often met with resistance and hostility from unexpected places. It does not matter that Black women are exhausted, stressed and many in poor health due to a lack of selfcare and setting boundaries.

It starts in the mind

I hate to sound cliche but selfcare, selflove, etc regardless of where you are in the world, begins in the mind! It’s also why so many “forces” (i.e. patriarchy, misogyny, etc) don’t want women to access selfcare and are so violently opposed to these concepts. While patriarchy and misogny(noir) are not new-they’ve been in operation for millennia, what is new is the global awakening of women. In order to access selfcare and selflove, you have to first become self aware.

What does that mean?

What this means is that, Black women are coming to the realization that we are human before our we are women, and we don’t need to prove our worth to anyone. It also means freeing our minds from the societal and cultural indoctrination (domestication) that has gaslit women into thinking they don’t deserve to live autonomously or have the right to pursue their dreams, grow, etc.

Black women are exhausted and have been so, for a long time

For much of our time here in North America, particularly here in the U.S., black women have been the proverbial “canaries in the coal mines” of society and culture. Our labour, resources and energy have been siphoned from us, without our consent. The few occasions when consent has been granted it was often under duress or outright deception. Now, the tide is changing as black women and women globally awaken to reclaim their autonomy, resources and power. Needless to say, those who have long benefited from the subjugation of women, are in violent opposition and unhappy to say the least.

Black women at the intersection of patriarchy and white supremacy

Because of patriarchy and white supremacy, Black women have historically borne the brunt of inequity and discrimination. As a result, we’ve been disproportionately affected by the impacts of these poisonous systems and their institutions. Whether it is maternal health outcomes, treatment in the justice system, etc, Black women are the most harmed. In short, Black women are exhausted from the seemingly never ending task of navigating these systems and conditions. Awakening to these realities, rather than remaining on the hamster wheel going no where, is the beginning of the selfcare journey!

A brief reminder of her-story

Arguably, women globally have been the observers and harbingers of what’s coming as we have watched patriarchy destroy both humanity and the planet. Women are relearning “her-story” and coming to realize that we have been lied to and outright bamboozled!  Yes, before all of “this” we had power, were builders, and protectors of both humanity and the planet. In short, equality and equity have always translated into alignment and universal balance as it is the universal order of things.

Selfcare strategies to save your mind and body

Being a woman is unlike anything in the universe and we need to start walking in our power and truth. To begin to do that, we need each need selfcare strategies and tools that we help us thrive and not just survive on this blue globe! Our default does not have be exhaustion,stress and dis-ease. Consistent selfcare means a reduction in stress, fatigue and illness. It also means a far better quality of life and the ability to focus on those interests that elevate our lives. Research has shown that repeated stress, trauma, etc age and cause disease in all areas of the body. This also impacts our mental health status. You can read more on selfcare right here!

So why the shift?

The shift is taking place as more and more black women connect globally. Through social media and other platforms, black women are not just sharing stories and experiences, we are sharing knowledge. As more of awaken to the damages and lies of patriarchy, misogyny and anti-blackness, we are moving strategically. With knowledge and healing comes the ability to get off the altar of other people’s expectations. In this way, we reclaim our health, dreams and passions. Global politics, especially as it pertains to North America, has been a huge eye opener for black women. As we watch women’s rights be dismantled, the stripping away of reproductive rights, etc, it’s clear to see the writing on the wall. Be sure to tune into my YouTube channel as I really go “in” on this!

Final Thoughts

As more and more black women realize the options available to them globally, the more the fire and fight for true liberation burns. The myth of black excellence, proving yourself to justify your worth, begging for a seat at the table of institutional racism, etc is crumbling. Now, black women are finally beginning to make choices that are in their best interest and most of that is founded on selfcare and healing. Additionally, as more black women to begin to seek therapy, do the internal work, etc,  we can expect the societal impact to hit even harder. Arguably, that’s why those who have benefited from unchecked access to black women’s labor are getting more upset and loud about it. News flash: stay mad!