Empowered selfcare, lifestyle strategies & coaching
Emergency selfcare is a response to the rapidly changing circumstances taking place across the globe. Many of these issues and challenges are unique to women and continues to remind us that selfcare strategies must adapt to these changes.
Selfcare and the realities of setting boundaries for black women It’s hard enough learning and setting boundaries, as a woman. As usual, when it comes to black women living and existing in America, that becomes even more of a challenge. Black women are exhausted but …
We are in the last quarter of 2022 and it is time to make the right shift for staying healthy and living your best life! If You’re not there yet, that’s okay because its never too late to improve your life. That being said, there are so many cheap fall and winter selfcare ideas that I’m about to share today. First of all, selfcare is not optional especially with everything that it is happening on the global front.
It took me a long time to appreciate the true importance and impact of selfcare on every aspect of life. It took tragedy and my on health care issues to realize that I needed to break the cycle of self-neglect and socio-cultural conditioning. That is the same conditioning (and control) that made me believe it was selfish to honor my own needs, desires, etc. This is especially true for women because from the cradle we’re basically taught that our lives, desires, wants, positioning, etc are not of equal value. Women are taught (largely by society and culture) that our worth and validation is tied to “something” outside of ourselves.
For the average woman, especially non-eroupean, selfcare is something of a luxury even now! Not only that, many folks are struggling to financially and need affordable ideas and tips. Today’s cheap winter selfcare ideas are ones that can also be adapted to other seasons of the year too.
Selfcare is a radical life saving practice that empowers, nurtures, heals, and renews our beings. It literally forces us to do the internal work (i.e. healing, renewing, self-development, etc) necessary for wholeness and autonomy. This is also why, selfcare is often demonized and restricted to cute memes and hashtags in social media. The reality is that most societies and cultures don’t view selfcare as a necessity, especially when it comes to women.
Let’s not forget that the fall and winter seasons are typically the times when people become affected by SAD. Seasonal affective disorder is a form of depression that is related to changes in seasons. So, a good selfcare routine means that you’ll have the tools you need in order to help you get through these tough times. Bottom line, there are many cheap and creative selfcare ideas out there. They are out there if you really want to change your life before the new year!
For many more selfcare strategies, tips and ideas check out my other posts on selfcare 365 days a year! Plus, don’t forget to comment and follow my blog for more life changing tips!
Economic hardships We’re in a recession folks and that means tightening our belts. It also means being resourceful and finding creative ways to self care on a tight budget. That also means, getting recession proof self care strategies to help you weather the storm! While no …
For whomever needs to hear this As I continue to celebrate women 365 days a year, I just want to remind men of one thing: women are not your therapists (or therapy). This is true of anyone in a relationship. Your partner is not your therapist …
Every year we get excited and anxious over Valentine’s Day. Excited because spring is not far off and anxious because, a lot of us are looking to be coupled up! Too much emphasis is on “coupling” and not enough on selflove and selfworth. That’s why it’s also a perfect time to really hone in on self-nourishment and selfcare. So, here’s 5 Valentine’s Day Selfcare ideas to get you through the rest of February. Needless to say, selflove is not a one of but a practice we should carry 365 days a year.
While we celebrate Valentine’s Day as a day for lovers, love and, romance the day itself, has its origins in both pagan and Christian beliefs. The Catholic Church recognises three saints named valentine. But it’s unclear who the actual Valentine was for which the day is named. Who ever it was, he was martyred and became a saint according to catholic tradition. In pagan tradition, it’s actually an offshoot of the feast of Lupercalia, an ancient roman pagan festival held on February 15. While the modern version of Valentines Day is soft and romantic, Lupercalia was anything but! It was violent, bloody, full of animal sacrifice and rampant sex.
But, lets get back to the fun of today and the notion of love and connection. The greatest thing you can do for yourself this Valentine’s Day, is to love and treat yourself how you want to be treated. These 5 Valentine’s Day selfcare ideas are just a few of the many tips and strategies I practice for myself. Let’s face it. If you don’t learn how to love and appreciate yourself, how can you expect others to know this? Standards, boundaries, etc, are all established and depend on you and the way you perceive and value yourself.
When it comes to self love and selfcare, your approach should be similar to how you view Valentine’s Day-a special time for love! Selfcare and self love are special and intimate practices we need to carry out on a daily basis for a healthy mind-body-spirit. Also, how you allow other people to treat you, says something about how you see yourself and the value you attach to yourself. Are you worthy of being treated with respect, compassion, love and consideration? If all of those things are true for you, then you will have no problem expecting others to treat accordingly.
1. Take yourself on a date.
2. Make a selfcare journal.
3. Give yourself a 24 hour social media and technology break.
4. Reconnect with friends and loved ones.
5. shore up and recalibrate your boundaries.
1. Taking yourself on a date is about intentionality and perception. Also, it’s an exercise in learning to feel comfortable with your company and not worry about how other people see you. If you’re feeling super anxious and uncomfortable about going out to a restaurant, theatre, etc by yourself, that’s telling you something. It could be anything from being a people pleaser to someone who who needs other people to give herself value. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, forces you to go inwards to the place that need your attention (i.e. healing, etc).
2. Either buy a journal for selfcare or make one for yourself. There are so many ways to customise a journal and make yours for what ever you want. A selfcare journal is a great way to do a self check on a daily basis. Also, you can use it to track your progress in terms of personal growth, documenting things you want to address, and so forth. You can also pour out thoughts without feeling like you’re being judged and it’s literally a space that’s yours alone.
3. Take a 24 hour social media and technology break and stick to it. There’s so much noise and distraction from social media and all of our tech gadgets, that we lose touch with ourselves. Social media keeps us hooked on other people’s drama and lives. Constantly dealing in to social media traps us in comparison and competition mode and disconnected from our own lives and reality. Very little of social media is actual reality and much of it negatively affects our mental health.
When you are always looking at other people’s lives you rarely appreciate or have any gratitude for how far you’ve come. When you take a break from this, you can focus on you, set goals for yourself and take stock of life in general. Unplugging for tech and social means you can get out into nature, connect with other humans in the real world and realise that the world is huge and full of great potential.
4. Reconnecting with friends and loved ones is super important for our mental health. Since humans are social beings, we need real human contact and connection, not scrolling through endless pages of social media. When we spend time talking and socialising with other people we can pour into and support one another. We can share stories and life events as well as gain counsel from trusted people in our social circles. This is also a great way to expand your social circle too, when you get out and about.
5. Finally, shore up your boundaries! Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for not just your mental health, but your overall well-being. It’s how you set the terms of how other people engage with you and how you honour yourself. This is also connected to your self worth and the stories you are telling yourself about yourself! If you struggle wit being a people pleaser, setting boundaries are really hard for you. You can read more about that in a previous post, when you click right here!
As I mentioned before, these 5 Valentine’s Day selfcare ideas are just a few of the many tips and strategies I use to stay aligned and healthy these days. None of it starts out easy, but investing in yourself with help of a coach, counsellor, etc is the first step. Selfcare is a journey that empowers to reclaim all aspects of your life-from your health and wellness, to your sense of self. There’s so much time to get on the right track to transforming your life in a way that’s meaningful for you and will also allow you to reclaim your authentic self. Also, sign up with this link for a FREE 20 min clarity session to help get started on your self are journey!!
Time for a new you! Yes ladies, its the New Year and as usual you’re ready to through in the proverbial towel because it’s looking like this year is going to be a repeat of 2021! Guess what? You’re not alone. I’m going to give …
All about selfcare mother’s day gifts that make sense! Regardless of whether or not you’ve actually given birth to a child, every woman who stands in that role deserves a break. That’s why I think a selfcare Mother’s Day gift or treat needs to be …
Let’s face it. We’ve all experienced the less than ideal workplace setup. This is what I call a toxic work environment. From disjointed and inconsistent leadership messaging, micro-managing, and unrealistic goal setting to outright incompetence, we’ve seen it all! There is nothing normal about it and quite honestly, it’s in every organization’s best interest, to eradicate these types of unhealthy leadership styles (or at least reduce it to the bare minimum).
While it differs across the board depending on your field, regardless of which one you’re in, they all share similar characteristics.
It’s not always overt and I would argue, that the more stressful the profession, the more obvious this toxicity becomes. For instance, If you’re a frontline worker, emergency responder, or any other profession that requires frequent engagement with other people in heightened situations, a healthy work environment is crucial. Take it from someone who works in a healthcare field, when you’re dealing with “people” in crisis or life-changing situations, the last thing you need is to be in a workplace where you don’t feel valued, safe, or supported.
Unfortunately, the toxic workplace is something that has become normalized across many fields. With the added stress and challenges of a global pandemic, “everything” is more visible-problems become more visible and the status quo is no longer acceptable. In short, Covid-19 has demonstrated that organizations do in fact, prioritize those “things” that they deem important and relegate the rest to the wayside. When employee health, wellness, etc is not a priority this often shows up as a toxic work environment!
We live in an age where for the most part, profit is prioritized over the health and wellness of employees as well as the general public. Short-sighted/ finite thinking and a general culture of inequity, all feed into this pervasive toxic soup. So how can you really know? Let’s take a look.
Trust me, it won’t take you long to figure these out! an unhealthy workplace affects your overall health and wellness (especially your mental health), so it’s important to know what a toxic workplace looks like. Here are just a few signs that you’re working in a toxic work environment.
Probably the most obvious sign of a toxic work environment is one where there’s an air of apathy and lack of motivation among colleagues. There’s a difference between the odd “lazy” co-worker and one who is unmotivated in an environment where employees feel undervalued, unheard, etc.
Most people understand, that there are many layers to communication; from body language, tone, to actual spoken words. This is a huge weakness of poor leadership and as a consequence, another indicator of toxicity in the workplace. Communication is the mode of informing and setting the “rules of engagement” in the workplace, between the organization and its employees. If you can not, as a leadership team, effectively communicate with your employees, you’ve already got issues with toxicity. Communication is how we relate and connect with one another, and if that conduit is full of confusing messages, hostilities, etc, there’s no trust being built.
There can be multiple reasons for why your workplace has a revolving door, but either way, it’s still a huge red flag. If you work in such a place, it won’t take much for you to figure it. Sometimes it’s due to boredom, and or burnout. But more often than not, it’s due to poor management. Your coworkers may feel undervalued, underutilized, and or unheard. All of these make for a toxic work environment.
Setting firm boundaries, between home and work life is another great strategy for navigating and servicing a toxic workplace. Finally, if meeting / discussing this issue with your supervisor doesn’t work, you’ll either have to adopt some or all of these strategies or separate yourself from your current employer.
At the end of the day, you can always find another job, but you can’t find another life, as a result of your health suffering because of an unhealthy workplace. For more on selfcare, read an earlier post right here
Tonye Barango-Tariah is a women’s empowered selfcare and health coach as well as the founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. For her, every woman can “look better, feel, better, without the pressure”! ™️ This means that she helps each woman achieve her goals in a way that is uniquely tailored to her needs. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Ultimately, her goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative selfcare journey!
My love affair with skincare Y’all already know that I’m a bonafide skincare freak so of course, I have to be on the lookout for awesome ingredients to use in my creations. I don’t apologize for loving skincare because that’s part of my self-care routine. …
