Tag selfcare

The big deal about emergency selfcare for women 

Things are rapidly changing across the globe and many of the issues and challenges that are unique to women, continue to grow. From socio-political unrest to domestic violence, women, children and the elderly are at the forefront.  This makes it critically important that emergency selfcare for black women, include plans and strategies. They also need to be put in place regardless of where you are in the world. Racism and anti-blackness is global and we as Black women need to have or create contingency plans. It also  means having a plan, A, B, and C, if it comes to that.

A sign of the times

Not to sound alarmist, but we all remember how January 6th went down, after the last presidential election and things are far more toxic. Given the state of the economy in the discontent in the U.S., rolling back of women’s and Black voting rights, it’s clear communities of color need to have their own contengencies in place. This is especially true for the Black community, given the violent and oppressive history of this country.

More on the realities of 2024 politics in the U.S.A

Given the political climate, it’s no surprise that Black women need to have additional safety and security plans as well. Patriarchy is still a major player globally, and exacerbates the institutionalized racism and discrimination that is foundational to this nation. So what can the average Black woman do to ensure she has relative safety, security, etc, if she’s not one of the privileged few, who’ve either left, leaving or have a geographic exit plan? Check out an earlier related article here. Like it or not, emergency selfcare for black women is critical to thriving beyond 2024.

Keeping it real about selfcare and personal safety as a Black woman

While America has a lot of problems, it’s also true that the us does not have a monopoly on racism and anti-blackness. That being said, the average BIPOC person, is living their lives and navigating as best as possible. Many of us are doing well, but far too many in the Black community are struggling, especially Black women. The dark spectre of patriarchy and misogyny means that Black women have even more barriers to navigate and fight against. This is true in all dimensions of society and culture. When you add in the current racial tensions, socio-economic discontent as well as the escalated violence against women in general, the long term effects can be very harmful and damaging.

The continued need for selfcare

This is why selfcare must be centered in the life of every woman and girl. Yes, selfcare is important for everyone, but the reality is that women have been conditioned and arguably, brainwashed. Many have been conditioned into believing that their exhaustion and marginalization is normal and a reasonable price to pay for a “acceptance and protection” within society.  As patriarchy continues to violently oppress women in response to women demanding autonomy and equal rights, safety and security needs to be amplified in any selfcare toolkit.

Our experinece

This is where emergency selfcare for Black women becomes a “thing”! Having a plan that includes self defense, personal safety hacks, etc become even more important at a time when socio-political unrest is a possibility. History continues to remind us, that as a collective, contingencies are necessary in order to not just survive, but to thrive. For more on this, you can watch my YouTube video here

Some things to have as part of your selfcare emergency toolkit/plan 

1. Create an emergency carry all (aka go bag)
2. Important documents (for yourself and your dependents)
3. valid passport (and passport card)
4. List of important medications
5. Emergency evacuation plan
6. List of important phone numbers
7. List of safe locations in the event that geolocation needs to be executed
8. Important community members and contacts
9. Important electronics (including accessories, chargers, batteries, etc)
10. Adaptive Mindfulness practices, wellness routines, etc
11. Community resources

Additional resources (U.S.A):

1. https://www.ready.gov/publications

One more thing

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Selfcare and the realities of setting boundaries for black women

It’s hard enough learning and setting boundaries, as a woman. As usual, when it comes to black women living and existing in America, that becomes even more of a challenge. Black women are exhausted but still expected to show up 100% at home and in the workplace. For the average black woman, there is no room for selfcare or taking a mental health day. Often times, they are expected by society and culture to exist and toil for the benefit of others and that, in itself should be reward enough!

Some observations about selfcare as a black woman

 The struggle is real and can often seem daunting especially when you consider all of the intersections that we as black women have to navigate daily. Also, historically and culturally, women have been conditioned to allow others to access our labour and resources to the point of exhaustion, if not death. As a matter of fact, it has been so normalized that when we start reclaiming our power and setting boundaries, they are often met with resistance and hostility from unexpected places. It does not matter that Black women are exhausted, stressed and many in poor health due to a lack of selfcare and setting boundaries.

It starts in the mind

I hate to sound cliche but selfcare, selflove, etc regardless of where you are in the world, begins in the mind! It’s also why so many “forces” (i.e. patriarchy, misogyny, etc) don’t want women to access selfcare and are so violently opposed to these concepts. While patriarchy and misogny(noir) are not new-they’ve been in operation for millennia, what is new is the global awakening of women. In order to access selfcare and selflove, you have to first become self aware.

What does that mean?

What this means is that, Black women are coming to the realization that we are human before our we are women, and we don’t need to prove our worth to anyone. It also means freeing our minds from the societal and cultural indoctrination (domestication) that has gaslit women into thinking they don’t deserve to live autonomously or have the right to pursue their dreams, grow, etc.

Black women are exhausted and have been so, for a long time

For much of our time here in North America, particularly here in the U.S., black women have been the proverbial “canaries in the coal mines” of society and culture. Our labour, resources and energy have been siphoned from us, without our consent. The few occasions when consent has been granted it was often under duress or outright deception. Now, the tide is changing as black women and women globally awaken to reclaim their autonomy, resources and power. Needless to say, those who have long benefited from the subjugation of women, are in violent opposition and unhappy to say the least.

Black women at the intersection of patriarchy and white supremacy

Because of patriarchy and white supremacy, Black women have historically borne the brunt of inequity and discrimination. As a result, we’ve been disproportionately affected by the impacts of these poisonous systems and their institutions. Whether it is maternal health outcomes, treatment in the justice system, etc, Black women are the most harmed. In short, Black women are exhausted from the seemingly never ending task of navigating these systems and conditions. Awakening to these realities, rather than remaining on the hamster wheel going no where, is the beginning of the selfcare journey!

A brief reminder of her-story

Arguably, women globally have been the observers and harbingers of what’s coming as we have watched patriarchy destroy both humanity and the planet. Women are relearning “her-story” and coming to realize that we have been lied to and outright bamboozled!  Yes, before all of “this” we had power, were builders, and protectors of both humanity and the planet. In short, equality and equity have always translated into alignment and universal balance as it is the universal order of things.

Selfcare strategies to save your mind and body

Being a woman is unlike anything in the universe and we need to start walking in our power and truth. To begin to do that, we need each need selfcare strategies and tools that we help us thrive and not just survive on this blue globe! Our default does not have be exhaustion,stress and dis-ease. Consistent selfcare means a reduction in stress, fatigue and illness. It also means a far better quality of life and the ability to focus on those interests that elevate our lives. Research has shown that repeated stress, trauma, etc age and cause disease in all areas of the body. This also impacts our mental health status. You can read more on selfcare right here!

So why the shift?

The shift is taking place as more and more black women connect globally. Through social media and other platforms, black women are not just sharing stories and experiences, we are sharing knowledge. As more of awaken to the damages and lies of patriarchy, misogyny and anti-blackness, we are moving strategically. With knowledge and healing comes the ability to get off the altar of other people’s expectations. In this way, we reclaim our health, dreams and passions. Global politics, especially as it pertains to North America, has been a huge eye opener for black women. As we watch women’s rights be dismantled, the stripping away of reproductive rights, etc, it’s clear to see the writing on the wall. Be sure to tune into my YouTube channel as I really go “in” on this!

Final Thoughts

As more and more black women realize the options available to them globally, the more the fire and fight for true liberation burns. The myth of black excellence, proving yourself to justify your worth, begging for a seat at the table of institutional racism, etc is crumbling. Now, black women are finally beginning to make choices that are in their best interest and most of that is founded on selfcare and healing. Additionally, as more black women to begin to seek therapy, do the internal work, etc,  we can expect the societal impact to hit even harder. Arguably, that’s why those who have benefited from unchecked access to black women’s labor are getting more upset and loud about it. News flash: stay mad!

We are in the last quarter of 2022 and it is time to make the right shift for staying healthy and living your best life! If You’re not there yet, that’s okay because its never too late to improve your life. That being said, there are so many cheap fall and winter selfcare ideas that I’m about to share today. First of all, selfcare is not optional especially with everything that it is happening on the global front.

More on selfcare

It took me a long time to appreciate the true importance and impact of selfcare on every aspect of life. It took tragedy and my on health care issues to realize that I needed to break the cycle of self-neglect and socio-cultural conditioning. That is the same conditioning (and control) that made me believe it was selfish to honor my own needs, desires, etc. This is especially true for women because from the cradle we’re basically taught that our lives, desires, wants, positioning, etc are not of equal value. Women are taught (largely by society and culture) that our worth and validation is tied to “something” outside of ourselves.

A brief reminder

For the average woman, especially non-eroupean, selfcare is something of a luxury even now! Not only that, many folks are struggling to financially and need affordable ideas and tips. Today’s cheap winter selfcare ideas are ones that can also be adapted to other seasons of the year too.

Selfcare is a radical life saving practice that empowers, nurtures, heals, and renews our beings. It literally forces us to do the internal work (i.e. healing, renewing, self-development, etc) necessary for wholeness and autonomy. This is also why, selfcare is often demonized and restricted to cute memes and hashtags in social media. The reality is that most societies and cultures don’t view selfcare as a necessity, especially when it comes to women. 

Just a few fall and winter selfcare ideas to get you started

1. yoga – yes I said it! Yoga, regardless of the variety is a great self care practice. It helps not only with your physical health, it’s also great for your mental and emotional health (i.e. stress reduction, managing anxiety, depression, etc).
2. Hot herbal tisanes for am detox and boosting immunity.
3. Herbal foot detox bath (with herbs, essential oils and Epsom salt).
4. Detox body bath soak (with herbs and essential oils- please consult your physician prior to preparation).
5. Bone broth and psyllium husk soups and stews (boosts immune system and psyllium is a probiotic for gut health as well).
6. Personal growth activities – reading books on personal growth, mindset, spiritual guidance, etc.

More selfcare ideas that are great for the fall and winter months

1. Doing a weekly personal needs checklist or assessment; using a journal or notebook on paper or in the notes app, etc.
2. 5-10 min daily mediation practice / quiet time. These routines can done be first thing in the morning, during your exercise routine, going for a walk, etc.
3. Do a seasonal cleaning and clearing session-a play on spring cleaning. Fall clearing is removing and discarding the clutter in your home that you’ve built up since the beginning of the year. It also includes all of those things you struggled to release during your spring cleaning. Meaning, stuff that kept you from moving forward, emotional baggage, etc. You’ll realise you never really needed that stuff but kept it out of fear of change, the unknown, habit, etc.
4. Create or revamp your meditation space to reflect the new season of fall. I can’t over emphasise how important it is to have and or create, a space that is yours alone and is specially crafted for you to decompress and meditate. Over the last few years, I’ve learned that each season is naturally powerful and that power is further amplified when you create a space that not only reflects your own personality and aesthetic, but also the season as well. You are essentially creating a power amplifier that is uniquely tailored to your own energy.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

Let’s not forget that the fall and winter seasons are typically the times when people become affected by SAD. Seasonal affective disorder is a form of depression that is related to changes in seasons. So, a good selfcare routine means that you’ll have the tools you need in order to help you get through these tough times. Bottom line, there are many cheap and creative selfcare ideas out there. They are out there if you really want to change your life before the new year!

For many more selfcare strategies, tips and ideas check out my other posts on selfcare 365 days a year! Plus, don’t forget to comment and follow my blog for more life changing tips!

Economic hardships

We’re in a recession folks and that means tightening our belts. It also means being resourceful and finding creative ways to self care on a tight budget.  That also means, getting recession proof self care strategies to help you weather the storm! While no one wants to get down in the dumps over the economy, the truth is that we need to adapt. A recession, economic hardship, etc means finding creative ways to stay healthy and keep your household in order.

Adaptation and resourcefulness is the key

I get it. Who wants to think about trying to workout or maintain a gym membership when we’re in the middle of a recession? Let’s not even add in the cost of transportation, fuel to keep our homes warm, etc? Well, when you understand that selfcare is critical to you staying healthy and getting through the tough times, your mindset shifts. Having recession proof self care strategies in place are like, having a “Go bag” during a crisis, national emergency etc. I know. It sounds dramatic but it’s so true! If you suffer from anxiety, PTSD, etc, you know how important it is to have the right tools in place to help you make it through your crisis.

In the case of recession proof self care strategies, these are crucial for both the short and long term. While humans are extremely adaptable, recent happenings around the globe have left many people struggling to cope. It’s a fight for them to address their physical, mental, and physical health. According to the WHO (world health Organization) and  US News & World Report, things a pretty grim for a lot of folks.

Recession proofing your self care

Focusing on the recession and other local and global crisis won’t offer solutions or make us feel any better. To borrow a quote from Tony Robins, “it’s not a lack of resources, but a lack of resourcefulness”, that’s the problem. To get beyond the paralysis of an economic or personal crisis, means getting out of that “headspace” that keeps you bound. Using your self care practice gives you the ability to weather storms in your life. Not only that, with these strategies you develop solution-based ways of thinking. This will help you to handle stress, anxiety, etc in healthy and productive ways. Also, It will help you stick to healthy activities (i.e. workout routines, etc). The mindful aspect of self care, helps sustain and support your health and overall well being.

After all, if you’re sick, stressed out and overwhelmed, your chances of navigating and surviving current happenings (both local and global), are slim! I’m not trying to freak you out, but depending on where you live in the world and your “resources” things are going to be very tough for a while.

Here a few tips

1. Manage your stress (i.e. EFT, meditation, breathing exercises, etc). You’d be amazed at how much better you’ll feel when you are able to control your stress level. Not only that, stress negatively impacts your immune system, mental health, etc.

2. Eat foods that support your immune system and energize the body). The quality of your food choices can not be over emphasized here. Realize that healthy food is both energy and medicine for your body.

3. Organize your physical and mental space. Get rid of overwhelm by pouring out your thoughts, feelings, etc, down on paper. A good brain dump gives you clarity and improves focus.

4. Create a weekly and monthly budget to keep track of, and organize,  your expenses to avoid overwhelm and anxiety

5. Set aside time (i.e. 30 mins, etc) each day to attend to your personal self care needs. This is separate from to-do lists and daily maintenance activities.

Final thoughts

Recession proof self care strategies will give you the endurance and mindset to make it though. Also, these strategies don’t work in a bubble. You have to consider your environment and prioritise your health and safety first. Then, in that context of self care, plug in these strategies so that you have a sustained plan of action. As always, you can read some more posts for budget friendly selfcare tips right here  and free resources too! Also, share this post with your community and be sure to subscribe.

For whomever needs to hear this

As I continue to celebrate women 365 days a year, I just want to remind men of one thing: women are not your therapists (or therapy). This is true of anyone in a relationship. Your partner is not your therapist and she/he/they is not responsible for you own personal “baggage”. Historically and generationally, women have been conditioned to accept the baggage of their partners in addition to the demands of society and culture.

Some of the backstory on this

Because women are viewed (in general) as the nurturing  and weaker sex, women are often the default “therapists” for their partners and communities. This is regardless of the fact that we aren’t professionally trained or even paid for that “Labor”. But again, this is the nature of patriarchy and misogyny across the globe. This brings me to the whole “women as default therapists” thing. Not to put the blame all on one side, women have their own issues to deal with as well. My point is that, neither partner is allowed to turn the other into a personal therapist! The emotional demands are just too much and it is unhealthy.

Red flags

Also, we’ve all seen examples of this in social media and even in our communities. Asking women to be your therapists is a bridge too far to cross and also puts women in further danger. After all, with everything that’s happened during and since the pandemic, the rates or femicide is rising at an alarming rate. And to bring it back to the basics, that amount of emotional dumping is a relationship killer anyways! It leaves no space for real intimacy or caring. This is because one person is doing the “dumping” and the other is the emotional or trauma “dumpster”.

Another red flag is constant negativity and even clingy-ness. It feels like you’re constantly draining off poison from your partner’s wound. The reverse is also true; you can’t constantly dump on your partner and think that that relationship will last!

The reality

Look, while I’m no therapist  I can definitely see a red flag coming a mile away. But it wasn’t always that way. There was a time that I suffered from both the disease to please and being an “emotional dumpster” for my partner. Needless to say, it was traumatic and added to my own baggage that I failed to work through prior to that relationship. So, when I say women are not your therapists, I’m not joking because I’ve got the “receipts”. For me, it always comes back to selfcare. Selfcare forces you to become both self aware and honest about where you are as a person. That means, facing all your issues and recognising that while no one is perfect, we do have to take ownership for both our trauma (i.e. issues, etc. ) and triumphs.

More on the selfcare and emotional baggage connection

Like i said earlier, we are all on a journey to healing and wholeness (hopefully) and no one’s perfect. That also means, we have to be honest with ourselves and our partners about where we are in our journey. Sometimes that may even mean you separate because those differences are to big to bridge. When we start taking on the role of therapist, we open ourselves to harm and potential destruction of our relationship. Also, you can create room for co-dependency which is another nightmare to divest from. Just, don’t do it and if you have to ask then you’re probably already there! Bottom line? Leave therapy to the experts and you’ll both be   Much more happy and whole.

Emotional selfcare is a thing

Selfcare is not restricted to what you can see. Selfcare includes your mental, emotional, spiritual and, physical wellbeing. Also, when it comes to selfcare, know that there is no perfect way to do it and it’s also a continuous process of nourishing, healing and renewal. From time to time, you’ll have to make adjustments along the way and that’s okay. There is no judgment or guilt in any of this. Want to know more about why women struggle with selfcare? Click here to find out.  Also, for more helpful selfcare tips and ideas you can read it right here!

A day for you

Every year we get excited and anxious over Valentine’s Day. Excited because spring is not far off and anxious because, a lot of us are looking to be coupled up! Too much emphasis is on “coupling” and not enough on selflove and selfworth. That’s why it’s also a perfect time to really hone in on self-nourishment and selfcare. So, here’s 5 Valentine’s Day Selfcare ideas to get you through the rest of February. Needless to say, selflove is not a one of but a practice we should carry 365 days a year.

Valentine’s Day

While we celebrate Valentine’s Day as a day for lovers, love and, romance the day itself, has its origins in both pagan and Christian beliefs. The Catholic Church recognises three saints named valentine. But it’s unclear who the actual Valentine was for which the day is named. Who ever it was, he was martyred and became a saint according to catholic tradition. In pagan tradition, it’s actually an offshoot of the feast of Lupercalia, an ancient roman pagan festival held on February 15.  While the modern version of Valentines Day is soft and romantic, Lupercalia was anything but! It was violent, bloody, full of animal sacrifice and rampant sex.

But, lets get back to the fun of today and the notion of love and connection. The greatest thing you can do for yourself this Valentine’s Day, is to love and treat yourself how you want to be treated. These 5 Valentine’s Day selfcare ideas are just a few of the many tips and strategies I practice for myself. Let’s face it. If you don’t learn how to love and appreciate yourself, how can you expect others to know this? Standards, boundaries, etc, are all established and depend on you and the way you perceive and value yourself.

The Valentine’s Day and self love connection

When it comes to self love and selfcare, your approach should be similar to how you view Valentine’s Day-a special time for love! Selfcare and self love are special and intimate practices we need to carry out on a daily basis for a healthy mind-body-spirit. Also, how you allow other people to treat you, says something about how you see yourself and the value you attach to yourself. Are you worthy of being treated with respect, compassion, love and consideration? If all of those things are true for you, then you will have no problem expecting others to treat accordingly.

Here are the 5 ideas for Valentine’s Day selfcare

1. Take yourself on a date.

2. Make a selfcare journal.

3. Give yourself a 24 hour social media and technology break.

4.  Reconnect with friends and loved ones.

5. shore up and recalibrate your boundaries.

More on these selfcare ideas

1. Taking yourself on a date is about intentionality and perception. Also, it’s an exercise  in learning to feel comfortable with your company and not worry about how other people see you. If you’re feeling super anxious and uncomfortable about going out to a restaurant, theatre, etc by yourself, that’s telling you something. It could be anything from being a people pleaser to someone who who needs other people to give herself value. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, forces you to go inwards to the place that need your attention (i.e. healing, etc).

2. Either buy a journal for selfcare or make one for yourself. There are so many ways to customise a journal and make yours for what ever you want. A selfcare journal is a great way to do a self check on a daily basis. Also, you can use it to track your progress in terms of personal growth, documenting things you want to address, and so forth. You can also pour out thoughts without feeling like you’re being judged and it’s literally a space that’s yours alone.

3. Take a 24 hour social media and technology break and stick to it. There’s so much noise and distraction from social media and all of our tech gadgets, that we lose touch with ourselves. Social media keeps us hooked on other people’s drama and lives.  Constantly dealing in to social media traps us in comparison and competition mode and disconnected from our own lives and reality. Very little of social media is actual reality and much of it negatively affects our mental health.

More on this

When you are always looking at other people’s lives you rarely appreciate or have any gratitude for how far you’ve come. When you take a break from this, you can focus on you, set goals for yourself and take stock of life in general. Unplugging for tech and social means you can get out into nature, connect with other humans in the real world and realise that the world is huge and full of great potential.

Some closing points

4. Reconnecting with friends and loved ones is super important for our mental health. Since humans are social beings, we need real human contact and connection, not scrolling through endless pages of social media. When we spend time talking and socialising with other people we can pour into and support one another. We can share stories and life events as well as gain counsel from trusted people in our social circles. This is also a great way to expand your social circle too, when you get out and about.

5. Finally, shore up your boundaries! Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for not just your mental health, but your overall well-being. It’s how you set the terms of how other people engage with you and how you honour yourself. This is also connected to your self worth and the stories you are telling yourself about yourself! If you struggle wit being a people pleaser, setting boundaries are really hard for you.  You can read more about that in a previous post, when you click right here!

Time for some me time

As I mentioned before, these 5 Valentine’s Day selfcare ideas are just a few of the many tips and strategies I use to stay aligned and healthy these days. None of it starts out easy, but investing in yourself with help of a coach, counsellor, etc is the first step. Selfcare is a journey that empowers to reclaim all aspects of your life-from your health and wellness, to your sense of self.  There’s so much time to get on the right track to transforming your life in a way that’s meaningful for you and will also allow you to reclaim your authentic self. Also, sign up with this link for a FREE 20 min clarity session to help get started on your self are journey!!

Time for a new you!

Yes ladies, its the New Year and as usual you’re ready to through in the proverbial towel because it’s looking like this year is going to be a repeat of 2021! Guess what? You’re not alone. I’m going to give you the top 3 reasons why your New Years resolution is not working out for you! Who doesn’t want to level up in the new year? But so many times we fall short for a variety of reasons and wind up feeling like a failure and demotivated. There’s hope for all of us though. By breaking down what’s really going on, we can all achieve our goals!

What we know

It’s no secret that most of us come up with New Years resolutions every year, but more times than not, they fall off the wagon. Most people make plans to change their fitness and health in dramatic ways. They want to eat healthier, lose weight, get a healthy work-life balance, etc. For women, these are often lofty goals that quickly fall by the wayside as we struggle to meet the needs of everyone around us. All of that pressure and expectations, take a toll.

Here are a few things to think about

Starting from the bottom up, your resolution(s) is not working because you really don’t have a plan. Second, you’re being unrealistic in both expectations and execution. Finally, and this is huge, you don’t have the right mindset! Now, lets break this down into 3 reasons why your New Years resolution is not working out for you.

3 major reasons it’s not coming together for you

When you have a real plan, it’s not too hard to execute assuming you don’t have any other issues (i.e. mindset, etc). For example, its not enough to say, “I’m going to or I want to lose weight next year”. Vague statement goals like this, only set you up for failure because they lack specificity and are vague. Second, you are being unrealistic in terms of both framing (not framing them positively, i.e. the resolve to stop wasting money or eating junk food) and expected outcome. Another reason we fail, has to do with mindset. This has to do with the story we are telling ourselves as well as the language we are using -negative vs. positive language. I address this even further for women in a previous post, right here.

As I’ve mentioned before, internal work is crucial for anyone who wants to actually see their goals comes true and achieve real transformation. That means reading books like these (click here to access my virtual bookshelf), to help you gain insight about self-sabotaging behaviors. In addition to this, getting therapy, health coach, etc, may also be needed on your journey.

What you can do now

Stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself! Too many times, we add to our overwhelm and guilt. We do this by pilling on the pressure of “other people’s expectations”, etc. We spend so much mental and emotional energy focusing on what other people think of us, our own warped perceptions of ourselves, that we get discouraged and demotivated before we can even see results.

A reminder for women

As women, we’ve largely been conditioned to take on the burden of societal expectations, ideals and, norms of what constitutes the “ideal woman”, beauty, etc. So, when you first commit to throwing off that “yoke” of domestication, it becomes easier to focus your energy on what you want to do, for you. That means your fitness and health goals, as well as overall selfcare. Next, ask yourself what you want to achieve for the new year. Forget about what others might think of your goals and you; simply focus on what you need and want.

More on this

However, before you even get to this point, you need to ask yourself one very important question. Why do you want or need to do this? Is it for purely health reasons? Are you trying to reclaim your power (i.e. self-empowerment)? Or is it, all of the above. If it’s all of the above you need to get a plan and individualized support to help you get started. Typically, partnering with a health or wellness coach is the best way to ensure success. Hey, we’re already well into the first part of the new year. That being the case, I’d rather partner with an expert than go it alone. Why risk winding up with a repeat of the previous year?

Final thoughts

A wise person once said, “the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result”. If we’re honest with ourselves, we know this on some level. The problem lies in our capacity to break down all of this “stuff” that gets in the way of our realizing results. If this is a real struggle for you and you don’t want a repeat of last year, book a free 30 clarity call with me right here! Let’s stay connected here (susbscribe to the newletter) or join my community on IG.

All about selfcare mother’s day gifts that make sense!

Regardless of whether or not you’ve actually given birth to a child, every woman who stands in that role deserves a break. That’s why I think a selfcare Mother’s Day gift or treat needs to be something we “do” on the regular not just on one day in May.

Please note this post contains amazon affiliate links from which I may receive a percentage of sales generated from purchases associated with it.

About selfcare

Despite are the buzz and hype from media outlets and self-proclaimed selfcare gurus, Selfcare is more than the occasional pampering or extravagant fantasy vacation spa! Selfcare is actually a normal every day “thing” that we all need to practice for a healthy and aligned life. For the most part, selfcare starts with setting boundaries. This is especially true when it comes to nourishing your body and replenishing yourself mentally and emotionally.

Selfcare also makes required that you prioritize your own needs above other “things”, people and tasks. Contrary to what you or some others may think, selfcare is neither selfish nor narcissistic; selfcare is a necessary and live-saving practice that makes it possible to do and care for those people and things that matter to you!

Perfect gift ideas

There are so many great Selfcare gift options for Mother’s Day, that are perfect not just for “this” day in May, but year-round too. To make things easier and eliminate the overwhelm, I’ve made a list of Selfcare Mother’s Day gifts to win over any woman in need of a little TLC.

1. Give her the gift of a good night’s sleep or nap time. While it might seem pretty basic, sleep is at the top of the selfcare list for moms and everyone else. Craft a homemade gift card or decorative coupon for a full night’s sleep for the mom figures in your life. Add it to a lovely gift basket filled with indulgent goodies (bought and homemade) to complement the selfcare theme.

2. Give her the gift of one or more face masks both homemade and store-bought. You can try out one of my lovely DIY face mask recipes here! Just make sure that if you decide to buy rather than DIY, make sure it’s a face mask from a trusted clean beauty brand. Remember, if it goes on the skin, it’s gotta be free of toxins and chemicals. Also, be sure to watch out for ingredients and labeling. I like to check my store brands against the EWG’s. You can click right here to check out the EWG’s listing right here!

3. An instant pot is great for healthy and hassle-free cooking and is another great gift for moms. Especially, for anyone looking to save time and effort in the kitchen and still eats healthily. Never underestimate the power of time-saving gadgets like this. Using an instant pot to cook soups, stews and other delicious and healthy meals is golden. She can save meal prep time, while also taking some much-needed selfcare in a quiet space!

Other selfcare gift ideas

4. Aromatherapy candles and or diffuser kits are also lovely to add to that selfcare gift. we’ve all heard of the power of soothing scents to help relax the tension and ease stress. Soothing essential oils like lavender, mint, and eucalyptus are well known for both their aromatic as well as therapeutic properties which make for a great addition to that selfcare mother’s day gift!

5. Decorative journals are perfect for what I like to call a “brain dump”, where one can just pour out the stresses and issues of the, on paper. Journal writing helps us to reconnect and center ourselves as we reflect on the day and perform our own internal “self-check”. We spend so much time running around from task to task that we often lose sight of the important things as well as our health and wellness. Adopting a journaling routine forces us to make those necessary internal corrections as we engage with that internal process.

These are just a few thoughtful and multi-functional gifts that won’t cost you tons of money but will really show those motherly figures in your life, how much you care. This list is great for any time of the year; just switch it up with a seasonal basket and you’re good to go!

Before you go!

Grab a free digital download of my selfcare tips to ditch the overwhelm and get some awesome ideas and tips for a selfcare routine that’s budget-friendly and easy to sustain!

The reality many of us face in the workplace

Let’s face it. We’ve all experienced the less than ideal workplace setup. This is what I call a toxic work environment. From disjointed and inconsistent leadership messaging, micro-managing, and unrealistic goal setting to outright incompetence, we’ve seen it all! There is nothing normal about it and quite honestly, it’s in every organization’s best interest, to eradicate these types of unhealthy leadership styles (or at least reduce it to the bare minimum).

Setting firm boundaries, between home and work life is another great strategy for navigating and servicing a toxic workplace. Finally, if meeting / discussing this issue with your supervisor doesn’t work, you’ll either have to adopt some or all of these strategies or separate yourself from your current employer.

Bottom line

At the end of the day, you can always find another job, but you can’t find another life, as a result of your health suffering because of an unhealthy workplace. For more on selfcare, read an earlier post right here

About the author

Tonye Barango-Tariah is a women’s empowered selfcare and health coach as well as the founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. For her, every woman can “look better, feel, better, without the pressure”! ™️ This means that she helps each woman achieve her goals in a way that is uniquely tailored to her needs. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Ultimately, her goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative selfcare journey!

My love affair with skincare

Y’all already know that I’m a bonafide skincare freak so of course, I have to be on the lookout for awesome ingredients to use in my creations. I don’t apologize for loving skincare because that’s part of my self-care routine. As I get older, I’m learning to be even more mindful of what my body needs especially when it comes to the largest organ of my body! So yeah, it’s important especially when I want to make sure I’m not using toxic creams and brands on my face! This flaxseed and cornstarch mask hits some major skincare concerns for me. This flaxseed and cornstarch face mask is anti-aging, balances, and soothes all in one go.

*Please note that as an amazon affiliate I make a small percentage as a result of any sales generated from the links in this post!

A word on those department stores and luxury skincare brands

Over the years I’ve spent a lot of money on expensive luxury and department store brands. Like a lot of women, I ended up being mostly, underwhelmed. Short of major plastic surgery, most don’t have any more dramatic results than cheaper store brands or homemade skincare. Granted, some of these luxury brands have good results, but you can also DIY a lot of great all-natural treatments and moisturizers in your own kitchen. My flaxseed and cornstarch face mask is just one example. If you’ve read any of my other skincare posts (and on other lifestyle blogs too), you’ll find easy and effective recipes that work too!

The nitty-gritty of my secret weapon DIY face mask

My mom used to say “ your makeup is only as good as the skin it sits on” and that’s the truth y’all! It doesn’t matter how many breakthroughs we make in makeup r &,d. The truth is, healthy skin is a major factor in a flawless look. That being said, who doesn’t want beautiful healthy skin? That doesn’t need any makeup at all?

Even as the years go by, I strive to support and enhance the health and beautiful my skin. I do this through both diet and my skincare routines. This DIY flaxseed and cornstarch face mask include some of my secret ( no longer secret now, lol) ingredients. As always, consult your healthcare provider if you have any allergies or sensitivities before applying any of these recipes.

Nutritional benefits

Flaxseed

They are high in omega-3, fatty acids, a great source of lignans ( a type of photochemical)which may help in fighting breast cancer risks, high in Dietary Fiber, lower bad cholesterol, a good source of high-quality plant protein, may reduce blood pressure, and packed with antioxidants. Not only that, but it may also help you meet those weight-loss goals as well!

Aloe vera gel

Aloe vera has been used for centuries in cooking as well as in herbal remedies. If you don’t know aloe vera gel comes from the leaves of the aloe plant. It’s been used as a herbal remedy for constipation, IBS, and lowering blood sugar and cholesterol. These are just a few of the many health benefits of aloe vera gel!

Cornstarch

While cornstarch is often used as a thickening agent, there’s no real benefit to ingesting it. This is actually one of those things you want to limit, substitute with something else or just toss out of your pantry!

Skincare (topical) benefits

Flaxseed

The omega-3 fatty acids (aka, alpha-linolenic acid) in flaxseeds help to smooth, hydrate, and moisturize the skin. While the lignans help reconstruct broken vessels and skin cells. Omega-3 fatty acids also contain antioxidants that protect and shield the skin from damaging free radicals and UV rays, score! Did I mention the fact that they’re also anti-inflammatory? Score!!

Aloe vera gel

Aloe has been used for skin conditions like burns, dandruff, etc for centuries. Nowadays it’s popular in both skincare and beauty treatments because of its numerous skin benefits. It’s great for treating dandruff, acne, eczema, and sunburn. It also helps to even out the complexion and moisturizes without being oily. Because it’s rich in vitamin E, it helps restore moisture to the skin.

Cornstarch

When applied topically, it soothes skin irritation, like rashes, sunburn, and itching. It also has a gentle exfoliating effect and helps remove excess oil from the skin. Cornstarch soothes redness.

Rosehip essential oil: the secret superpower ingredient!

Widely used since ancient times for its valuable healing benefits, rosehip oil is rich in skin-nourishing vitamins and essential fatty acids. Also, this essential oil contains phenols that have been shown to have antiviral, antibacterial, and anti-fungal properties.

Here are the main benefits of my secret ingredient:

1. It hydrates
2. Moisturizes
3. It’s a natural exfoliant and brightener
4. Boosts the formation of collagen
5. Anti-inflammatory
6. Protects against sun damage
7. Reduces hyperpigmentation

What you will need:

1. 2 tablespoons flaxseed meal ( organic)
2. 1 tablespoon cornstarch (organic)
3. 2 drop rosehip essential oil (secret ingredient)
4. 1 drop lavender essential oil
5. Use enough organic aloe vera gel (you can use filtered water if you have aloe allergies) to make a paste with medium thickness/ consistency; approximately 3 tablespoons.
6. 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric powder (organic)
7. 1 tablespoon of chamomile water made from steeping dried flowers in hot water for 10mins.

Making your skintastic face mask

Use a small glass bowl (use it only for DIY skincare stuff!) and pour your dry ingredients into it first. Next, add the aloe vera gel, essential oils plus, the tablespoon of chamomile water. Then, gently mix everything together until the mixture is smooth and apply to clean skin. If any remains, simply store in an airtight glass container, place in the fridge, and store no longer than 24-48 hours.

Before you go!

Did you check out my other DIY face mask recipes? My avocado moisture-rich face mask is just one of my favorite recipes guaranteed to lush up your skin! Also, read this article on why women have such a hard time with self-care to help you stop the self-sabotage in 2021!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tonye Tariah is a Holistic health strategist, Coach, and the founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. Tonye helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. Meaning, she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each her situation. By doing this, she’s better able to help women transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!