Empowered selfcare, lifestyle strategies & coaching
Selfcare and the realities of setting boundaries for black women It’s hard enough learning and setting boundaries, as a woman. As usual, when it comes to black women living and existing in America, that becomes even more of a challenge. Black women are exhausted but …
For whomever needs to hear this As I continue to celebrate women 365 days a year, I just want to remind men of one thing: women are not your therapists (or therapy). This is true of anyone in a relationship. Your partner is not your therapist …
Every year we get excited and anxious over Valentine’s Day. Excited because spring is not far off and anxious because, a lot of us are looking to be coupled up! Too much emphasis is on “coupling” and not enough on selflove and selfworth. That’s why it’s also a perfect time to really hone in on self-nourishment and selfcare. So, here’s 5 Valentine’s Day Selfcare ideas to get you through the rest of February. Needless to say, selflove is not a one of but a practice we should carry 365 days a year.
While we celebrate Valentine’s Day as a day for lovers, love and, romance the day itself, has its origins in both pagan and Christian beliefs. The Catholic Church recognises three saints named valentine. But it’s unclear who the actual Valentine was for which the day is named. Who ever it was, he was martyred and became a saint according to catholic tradition. In pagan tradition, it’s actually an offshoot of the feast of Lupercalia, an ancient roman pagan festival held on February 15. While the modern version of Valentines Day is soft and romantic, Lupercalia was anything but! It was violent, bloody, full of animal sacrifice and rampant sex.
But, lets get back to the fun of today and the notion of love and connection. The greatest thing you can do for yourself this Valentine’s Day, is to love and treat yourself how you want to be treated. These 5 Valentine’s Day selfcare ideas are just a few of the many tips and strategies I practice for myself. Let’s face it. If you don’t learn how to love and appreciate yourself, how can you expect others to know this? Standards, boundaries, etc, are all established and depend on you and the way you perceive and value yourself.
When it comes to self love and selfcare, your approach should be similar to how you view Valentine’s Day-a special time for love! Selfcare and self love are special and intimate practices we need to carry out on a daily basis for a healthy mind-body-spirit. Also, how you allow other people to treat you, says something about how you see yourself and the value you attach to yourself. Are you worthy of being treated with respect, compassion, love and consideration? If all of those things are true for you, then you will have no problem expecting others to treat accordingly.
1. Take yourself on a date.
2. Make a selfcare journal.
3. Give yourself a 24 hour social media and technology break.
4. Reconnect with friends and loved ones.
5. shore up and recalibrate your boundaries.
1. Taking yourself on a date is about intentionality and perception. Also, it’s an exercise in learning to feel comfortable with your company and not worry about how other people see you. If you’re feeling super anxious and uncomfortable about going out to a restaurant, theatre, etc by yourself, that’s telling you something. It could be anything from being a people pleaser to someone who who needs other people to give herself value. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, forces you to go inwards to the place that need your attention (i.e. healing, etc).
2. Either buy a journal for selfcare or make one for yourself. There are so many ways to customise a journal and make yours for what ever you want. A selfcare journal is a great way to do a self check on a daily basis. Also, you can use it to track your progress in terms of personal growth, documenting things you want to address, and so forth. You can also pour out thoughts without feeling like you’re being judged and it’s literally a space that’s yours alone.
3. Take a 24 hour social media and technology break and stick to it. There’s so much noise and distraction from social media and all of our tech gadgets, that we lose touch with ourselves. Social media keeps us hooked on other people’s drama and lives. Constantly dealing in to social media traps us in comparison and competition mode and disconnected from our own lives and reality. Very little of social media is actual reality and much of it negatively affects our mental health.
When you are always looking at other people’s lives you rarely appreciate or have any gratitude for how far you’ve come. When you take a break from this, you can focus on you, set goals for yourself and take stock of life in general. Unplugging for tech and social means you can get out into nature, connect with other humans in the real world and realise that the world is huge and full of great potential.
4. Reconnecting with friends and loved ones is super important for our mental health. Since humans are social beings, we need real human contact and connection, not scrolling through endless pages of social media. When we spend time talking and socialising with other people we can pour into and support one another. We can share stories and life events as well as gain counsel from trusted people in our social circles. This is also a great way to expand your social circle too, when you get out and about.
5. Finally, shore up your boundaries! Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for not just your mental health, but your overall well-being. It’s how you set the terms of how other people engage with you and how you honour yourself. This is also connected to your self worth and the stories you are telling yourself about yourself! If you struggle wit being a people pleaser, setting boundaries are really hard for you. You can read more about that in a previous post, when you click right here!
As I mentioned before, these 5 Valentine’s Day selfcare ideas are just a few of the many tips and strategies I use to stay aligned and healthy these days. None of it starts out easy, but investing in yourself with help of a coach, counsellor, etc is the first step. Selfcare is a journey that empowers to reclaim all aspects of your life-from your health and wellness, to your sense of self. There’s so much time to get on the right track to transforming your life in a way that’s meaningful for you and will also allow you to reclaim your authentic self. Also, sign up with this link for a FREE 20 min clarity session to help get started on your self are journey!!
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If we’re honest, we all love to get something special for Valentine’s Day! But, have you ever tried gifting yourself with some TLC? My 14 Ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, flips the script on the usual! Nurture yourself and stop giving from an …
