Tag women’s empowerment

feature image for selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day post

Let me start by asking, can we normalise selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day? I’m like really! It’s a new year and that tired idea of “treating” yourself and calling it selfcare, is old and pathetic at this point. Not only that, it’s costing women their lives, health and happiness! Selfcare has become an increasingly popular term in recent years, but it’s often associated with special occasions like Valentine’s Day. While it’s great to have a day to celebrate love and self-love, the truth is that selfcare is a year-round practice, and it’s something that every woman needs!

The reality of it all

Normalising selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day means recognising that taking care of yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity. It means making self-care a regular part of your daily routine and prioritising it just as much as you would any other important task.

So, how can you normalise self-care beyond Valentine’s Day? Here are a few tips:

  1. Make it a daily habit

Selfcare doesn’t have to be fancy or grand. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to do something that makes you feel good. This could be anything from taking a relaxing bath to practicing yoga to reading a book. The key is to make it a daily habit, so it becomes a natural part of your routine.

  1. Find what works for you

Selfcare looks different for everyone, so it’s important to find what works for you. What makes you feel relaxed and rejuvenated? What helps you recharge after a long day? Some people might find solace in nature, while others might prefer meditation. Experiment with different selfcare practices until you find what resonates with you.

  1. Make time for it

One of the biggest barriers to selfcare is time. It’s easy to put off taking care of ourselves when we have so many other things to do. But the truth is, selfcare is just as important as any other task on your to-do list. Make time for it by scheduling it into your day or week. Treat it like an important appointment that you can’t miss.

Some more tips on selfcare

  1. Let go of guilt

Many women feel guilty about taking time for themselves. We’re conditioned to put others’ needs before our own, but selfcare is not selfish or incidental. It’s critical for our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Let go of the guilt and give yourself permission to prioritise selfcare.

  1. Create a support system

Selfcare is more fun and effective when you do it with others. Create a support system of friends or family members who are also committed to prioritising selfcare. You can share ideas, motivate each other, and hold each other accountable.

Bottom line, normalising selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day is about recognising that taking care of yourself is a year-round practice. It’s about making self-care a daily habit, finding what works for you, making time for it, letting go of guilt, and creating a support system. By prioritizing self-care, you’ll not only feel better but also be better equipped to handle the challenges that come your way.

Priorities ladies!

I can’t say it enough; selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day needs to be your mantra for the rest of the year. It’s not you being needy, whinny, or some other socio-cultural shaming terminology. This is you making your health and well being, the center of how you move through this world.  For some concrete tips and ideas for creating your own selfcare routine, read this earlier viral post right here!
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Barriers to selfcare for Black and other women of color 

1.  Lack of representation

Women of color may feel that the mainstream wellness industry does not represent their needs and preferences. The lack of representation can lead to feeling excluded, invisible, and not valued. It can also lead to difficulty finding resources that are culturally sensitive and appropriate.

2.  Intersectional discrimination

Women of colour, especially Black women face multiple forms of discrimination, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism. These forms of oppression can cause stress, anxiety, and trauma, which can make it difficult to prioritise self-care.

  1. Systemic barriers

Women of colour may face systemic barriers to accessing self-care resources, such as limited financial resources, lack of affordable and accessible healthcare, limited access to healthy food options, and lack of safe and supportive environments.

Other barriers to consider

  1. Caregiving responsibilities

Women of colour are often expected to take on caregiving responsibilities for their families and communities, which can make it challenging to find time for self-care. The pressure to put others’ needs before their own can lead to feelings of guilt and self-neglect.

  1. Mental health stigma

Women of colour may face stigma and shame around mental health, which can prevent them from seeking help and support. The fear of being perceived as weak or vulnerable can lead to self-isolation and a reluctance to engage in self-care practices that may benefit their mental health.

My final thoughts

Let’s start a clean slate for this new season by recognising that women are facing a global health crisis. That crisis is the absence of selfcare that has become even more critical in a global system of patriarchy, anti-blackness and misogyny.  For women of colour, they’re are additional barriers to selfcare that need to be recognised and addressed. These barriers include lack of representation, intersectional discrimination, systemic barriers, caregiving responsibilities, and mental health stigma. By acknowledging and addressing these barriers, we can create a better world for all women across the globe! Also, check out this short post more selfcare ideas for newbies!

Selfcare Beyond Valentine’s Day

this bridge called my back blog feature image

Books worth reading

This Bridge Called My Back is one book that I just could not put down. Last summer I spent a large block of time, focusing on reading and personal development. To say it was a journey would be an understatement. Some of the power of this book has to do with the fact that it not only looks at women’s personal development and empowerment, but it’s also about the generational struggle that women of color grapple with on a daily basis. While my list consists of books like Brené Brown’s Rising Strong, to other powerful collection of stories such as those found in Unleashing Her Wild, This Bridge Called My Back, continues to draw me back into its pages.

 

Why this book resonates with me

This Bridge Called My Back,  speaks of ”everything” mainstream /traditional feminism does not. It is all-inclusive. It is raw, powerful and at the same time, nourishing. This book lays out the pivotal differences between mainstream/ traditional feminism, a space occupied by seemingly ”woke” white women who grudgingly share the stage and fruits of bloody activism with WOC (women of color).

For the personal growth babes out there

A book that fearlessly delves into the ugly foundations of this nation’s past, This Bridge Called My Back talks about a very different form of feminist philosophy and discourse. This ”feminism” (Womanism) is a very different beast. Through the various essays and stories retold by the collection of authors, it’s very clear that the ”feminism” embraced by black women, women of the diaspora, and the broader collective of WOC is inclusive of transgender women, ALL women, as well as the marginalized (this inclusivity of others that have been marginalized is a demonstrated characteristic of the “nurturing” aspect of womanism), at the intersection of racial, social, economic and environmental equality justice.

A little insight on black feminism

Womanism/ black feminism embraces and tries to lift all voices of women and the marginalized at the intersection of race, gender, and equality. In short, there’s no room for ”privileged” feminism also known as “white women ”wokeness” masquerading as feminist inclusivity and gender equity. After all, it’s that same “feminism” that appropriated the #MeToo Movement started by a black woman, and subsequently erased her and the voices she represented from the political stage and table of discourse. But, we’ll revisit that story at a later date.

My Final Thoughts: This Bridge Called My Back

I think this is arguably more relevant today or at the very least, as relevant now as it was when it was originally written and published more than 30 years ago. It speaks to the ugly truth about the founding of both this nation and society, that many in places of power are unwilling and or are afraid to shine a light on. If you truly want to be ”schooled” on what it means to be a ”wild woman”, a woman-who-runs-with-the-wolves, a bad-ass-bitch, etc, then THIS is one of the books that will take you there! For a complete ”edu-ma-cation” you’ll have to accompany this fiery book with Angela Y. Davis’ “Women, Race & Class” but that’s only if you can handle that level of truth!

Some take-aways

Having said that, I challenge every woman across the globe, to open her mind, reach across the empty and war-torn spaces to create change. Be that change WE truly want to see in this world. To make it a place where equality, social justice, and basic human dignity is non-negotiable and where ALL are both worthy and enough!

My other reviews

If you haven’t checked it out already, don’t forget to read my review on Unleashing Her Wild, another awesome read for women everywhere. Also, head over to my virtual bookshelf at amazon.com for more fiery female-focused reads right here!

shop my amazon.com book shelf link

I’ve also begun to slowly add to my list of favorite lifestyle must-haves, etc on amazon so definitely head over to amazon.com to see what I’m adding to my stash and feel free to offer your own suggestions and favorites to the mix. It’s time to get “whole” healthy and undomesticated!! 

 

About The Author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

 

This Bridge Called My Back: Book Review

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