Tag women’s health

The big deal about emergency selfcare for women 

Things are rapidly changing across the globe and many of the issues and challenges that are unique to women, continue to grow. From socio-political unrest to domestic violence, women, children and the elderly are at the forefront.  This makes it critically important that emergency selfcare for black women, include plans and strategies. They also need to be put in place regardless of where you are in the world. Racism and anti-blackness is global and we as Black women need to have or create contingency plans. It also  means having a plan, A, B, and C, if it comes to that.

A sign of the times

Not to sound alarmist, but we all remember how January 6th went down, after the last presidential election and things are far more toxic. Given the state of the economy in the discontent in the U.S., rolling back of women’s and Black voting rights, it’s clear communities of color need to have their own contengencies in place. This is especially true for the Black community, given the violent and oppressive history of this country.

More on the realities of 2024 politics in the U.S.A

Given the political climate, it’s no surprise that Black women need to have additional safety and security plans as well. Patriarchy is still a major player globally, and exacerbates the institutionalized racism and discrimination that is foundational to this nation. So what can the average Black woman do to ensure she has relative safety, security, etc, if she’s not one of the privileged few, who’ve either left, leaving or have a geographic exit plan? Check out an earlier related article here. Like it or not, emergency selfcare for black women is critical to thriving beyond 2024.

Keeping it real about selfcare and personal safety as a Black woman

While America has a lot of problems, it’s also true that the us does not have a monopoly on racism and anti-blackness. That being said, the average BIPOC person, is living their lives and navigating as best as possible. Many of us are doing well, but far too many in the Black community are struggling, especially Black women. The dark spectre of patriarchy and misogyny means that Black women have even more barriers to navigate and fight against. This is true in all dimensions of society and culture. When you add in the current racial tensions, socio-economic discontent as well as the escalated violence against women in general, the long term effects can be very harmful and damaging.

The continued need for selfcare

This is why selfcare must be centered in the life of every woman and girl. Yes, selfcare is important for everyone, but the reality is that women have been conditioned and arguably, brainwashed. Many have been conditioned into believing that their exhaustion and marginalization is normal and a reasonable price to pay for a “acceptance and protection” within society.  As patriarchy continues to violently oppress women in response to women demanding autonomy and equal rights, safety and security needs to be amplified in any selfcare toolkit.

Our experinece

This is where emergency selfcare for Black women becomes a “thing”! Having a plan that includes self defense, personal safety hacks, etc become even more important at a time when socio-political unrest is a possibility. History continues to remind us, that as a collective, contingencies are necessary in order to not just survive, but to thrive. For more on this, you can watch my YouTube video here

Some things to have as part of your selfcare emergency toolkit/plan 

1. Create an emergency carry all (aka go bag)
2. Important documents (for yourself and your dependents)
3. valid passport (and passport card)
4. List of important medications
5. Emergency evacuation plan
6. List of important phone numbers
7. List of safe locations in the event that geolocation needs to be executed
8. Important community members and contacts
9. Important electronics (including accessories, chargers, batteries, etc)
10. Adaptive Mindfulness practices, wellness routines, etc
11. Community resources

Additional resources (U.S.A):

1. https://www.ready.gov/publications

One more thing

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Why Selfcare is difficult for women

I know how difficult it is to find time to actually practice self-care. Like most women around the world, each day is usually a constant balancing act of taking care of other people, their expectations, and a whole slew of obligations! Regardless of what corner of the world we live in, selfcare is difficult for women to varying degrees.

The daily reality for the average woman

There are few women in the real world, who can say they are always able to make time for their self-care needs and without the guilt and burden of constantly trying to live up to the expectations of others (including society). For every woman that has struggled to break free from that cycle of guilt around making time for their own self-care and their needs in general, it really is “all in your head!”.  Yes, selfcare is difficult for women-especially if you’re trying to first meet the needs and expectations of other people, etc.

What selfcare is not

Let’s be clear, doing for both family and community is something we should all aspire to but that is not to say that one should neglect one’s own wellbeing. Historically, women have had to choose between their own self-care and the needs of others. That’s in addition to the demands made by society and culture.

A bit of history about the self-care movement 

The self-care movement was birthed during the anti-war and civil rights movements. It has it’s origins in the medical sphere as both physicians and academicians were looking at strategies to mitigate the effects of high-stress work environments on healthcare workers. Later on, it transformed into a broader movement as it became politicized during the civil rights and women’s movement of the ’60s and early ’70s.

With that in mind here are a few quick tips to help you begin to break the cycle

1. Start saying “NO”! I know it sounds easy, but I also know how difficult it is to do this when you have been conditioned and silenced by society for so long. Like most women, I put my needs, desires, and health far below that of family and other obligations. I also watched women in my family and lineage suffer the same fate. Experience has shown me that the only way to break the cycle is to start with the word “NO”.  Believe it or not, this one word contains a lot of power and has the effect of shaking up the status quo and activates a place in your core that has long been silent and ineffectual.

2. Know what it means to have boundaries and create them (if you don’t know).  It starts with self-discovery and identifying what is in alignment with your inner self versus what is in violation of those core beliefs and or elements.

3. Stop asking for permission to self-care. Again, sounds pretty straight forward but it will surprise you to find out how much resistance you encounter when you begin to assert yourself and enforce your boundaries!

4. Take ownership of your entire self (i.e. self-acceptance) including the good, the bad and the ugly. After all, if you don’t accept yourself, you can not expect anyone else to do so either.

What you can expect on this journey:

As I mentioned earlier, be prepared for some push-back when you begin to use your voice and as you put your boundaries in place. That being said, the freedom and level of transformation are more than worth it!

What you will gain this journey:

One of the most meaningful gains from this process is empowerment. Freedom from self-sabotage and servitude to other people’s expectations is no small accomplishment. Especially when it means regaining your power and ability to speak your truth without the fear of being judged or shamed into silence. Click this link to find out more about how to break the cycle of O.P.E!

Before you go

At the end of the day, if you don’t value your health and wellbeing, no one else will. That’s the harsh truth of the matter. If you’re struggling to come up with good selfcare ideas in the midst of this global “lockdown, read  “14 Ways To Love Yourself 365 Days A Year”14 Ways To Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, etc. Wow, who can keep up with all the social media plans? I love having different media to explore, but the unrealness of some of it all boggles the mind! So what’s your story? I always wonder as I look around at the various shapes, sizes, and body types,  “what’s going through her head when she looks in the mirror?” ( I do this a lot when I’m people watching, by the way, *snicker*). Just by the facial expressions alone; some look happy, sad, and the others? Well, I’m not so sure of their place in this colorful complex world but hey, we all have to find “ourselves” and come into our own at some point.

I can’t say I get it as to why we women, seem to struggle so much with finding and embracing who we are; be it in terms of our physical shape and weight (facial features, physical attributes, etc) or some “thing” about ourselves that we perceive as our individual shortcomings or the less “pretty” parts of ourselves. Whatever it is, we all need to stop and evolve beyond these destructive tendencies. Which leads me to my next rant-

I won’t go into details but suffice it to say, it was “mean girls” on steroids; nothing funny about that at all. As an adult I get it: insecure, inadequate, immature women (and some adults in general) have a tendency to lash out or project their problems onto the closest target, usually manifesting itself in bullying or some other destructive behavior ( at least that’s been my observation). If there is one thing we really need to outgrow as females (of any age), it’s turning on one another, comparing (and finding deficiencies or inadequacies, etc) ourselves to other women, and trying to fit ourselves into mainstream media’s warped image of the “perfect” female!

I truly believe that if  (or most) mothers and fathers out there, taught their daughters to value themselves based on what they carried within (as well as the beauty contained embodied in their uniqueness), rather than what’s on the outside, women, and girls would find it much easier to be true friends and colleagues, rather than predator vs. prey, mean girl vs. the nerd, same vs. other. I guess I’m just disappointed to see that we still allow ourselves to be victimized and manipulated by both the media society as we struggle to find ourselves even as we stare blankly at the girl in the mirror…I’m still hopeful that in the end, we (women and girls) will finally get a clue and realize that we are own worst enemy.

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.