All posts by Tonye

People Pleasing

It’s no big secret that many of us are either people pleasers or recovering people pleasers. What is new, is that women all over the world, are finally saying enough is enough! While some folks are probably saying, what’s the big deal? The major problem with this disease to please, is that it hugely impacts so many areas of our lives, not to mention our over all health and wellness. For many women, people pleasing is a default and often takes over their lives. Often times, they don’t see it because they’ve been conditioned or domesticated to this state. In short, people pleasing is so insidious that we women, miss it’s huge negative impacts on our lives.

Some signs of a people pleaser

1. Apologizing for things that are not your fault.

2. Agreeing with whoever is in front of you.

3. You can never say no or, finding it extremely difficult to say no.

4. Your sense of self worth depends on how others see you.

5. Changing your personality depending on who’s in front of you, or fitting it to meet other people’s expectations.

6. Prioritizing the needs of others over your own-every single time.

7. Hyper criticism of yourself and others

More on this

As a people pleaser, you often take responsibility for other people’s emotions. You might also feel anxiety around them possibly targeting you as the source of their issues. This often leaves you feeling fearful and that you’re walking on eggshells around a minefield of someone else’s emotions or emotional responses. Let’s not forget, in the case of women, this behavior is amplified even more.

Remember that saying, “she’s trying too hard”? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. People pleasing usually draws you into the trap of trying to be everything to everyone. That also means, changing who you are to be accepted by the masses or modifying your external appearance to fit a certain ideal. Are you seeing the pattern here yet? That gnawing feeling of inauthenticity or sense that you’re not being real, is typical of people pleasing folks.

Is this you? 

Struggling or being unable to say no is also a behavior that’s typical for a people pleaser. For her, its easier to make excuses to get out of a commitment. But even that is anxiety and fear inducing, often leading to feelings of regret or self-criticism. Also, shifting your actions to fit into what you believe is expected of you is another characteristic of people pleasers. If this is you, just no that awareness is the first step toward healing from this way of being.

Woman to woman, I definitely feel your pain and as a former people pleaser, let me just say, I get that this is not easy to get over. But, growing and healing from this state is more than possible. Not only that, it is necessary in order to grow and evolve  into the best version of yourself. Also, this a must if you ever want to break the yoke  of domestication and laying on the altar of other people’s expectations. Another thing to consider is, if you feel like you won’t  be valued or appreciated without any of this “stuff”, know that you’ve probably got the disease to please!

A few things to really think about

Being a people pleaser has a number of ugly side effects and if you are one, you’ll recognize some of these effects:

1. An inability or lack of self-care. When you suffer from “pp” (aka, people pleasing), self-care is at best an afterthought and at worse, completely absent. Prioritizing your own health and wellbeing drifts farther and farther down your to-do list.

2. Simmering resentment is another consequence of being a people pleaser. Always sidelining your own needs, wants and desires, eventually leads to a build-up of resentment and bitterness. This sometimes manifest in you getting sick, feeling stretched beyond your limits or burnout. Also, that resentment can affect your mood and temperament.

3. Critical and judgmental. Feeling judge-y much? Yeah, you’ve probably got some people pleasing tendencies going on there! Sometimes our resentment can manifest in hyper criticism (of ourselves and others) as well as judgement. There’s literally no room for grace, either for ourselves or for other people.

4. As i mentioned earlier, people pleasing behavior is really bad for your health! The constant stress of trying to be everything to everyone, elevates your stress hormones. With that comes other issues like chronic illness, insomnia, and the list goes on.

Final thoughts

Clearly, being a people pleaser is not all it’s cracked up to be and is something no woman on the planet, should subscribe to! Half the battle is recognizing people pleasing for what it is-a destructive behavior that imprisons you. It traps you in an ever repeating soul-numbing cycle that robs you of your health and ultimately, of living a fulfilling life. Check out my post budget-friendly selfcare strategies for 365 days a year right here! In that post I discuss some great ideas for selfcare that are both realistic and effective.

As always my door is always open to women who need the support of a safe community and guidance. With that in mind, book a free 30 min session with me or follow me on instagram (you can dm me as well) too!

Time for a new you!

Yes ladies, its the New Year and as usual you’re ready to through in the proverbial towel because it’s looking like this year is going to be a repeat of 2021! Guess what? You’re not alone. I’m going to give you the top 3 reasons why your New Years resolution is not working out for you! Who doesn’t want to level up in the new year? But so many times we fall short for a variety of reasons and wind up feeling like a failure and demotivated. There’s hope for all of us though. By breaking down what’s really going on, we can all achieve our goals!

What we know

It’s no secret that most of us come up with New Years resolutions every year, but more times than not, they fall off the wagon. Most people make plans to change their fitness and health in dramatic ways. They want to eat healthier, lose weight, get a healthy work-life balance, etc. For women, these are often lofty goals that quickly fall by the wayside as we struggle to meet the needs of everyone around us. All of that pressure and expectations, take a toll.

Here are a few things to think about

Starting from the bottom up, your resolution(s) is not working because you really don’t have a plan. Second, you’re being unrealistic in both expectations and execution. Finally, and this is huge, you don’t have the right mindset! Now, lets break this down into 3 reasons why your New Years resolution is not working out for you.

3 major reasons it’s not coming together for you

When you have a real plan, it’s not too hard to execute assuming you don’t have any other issues (i.e. mindset, etc). For example, its not enough to say, “I’m going to or I want to lose weight next year”. Vague statement goals like this, only set you up for failure because they lack specificity and are vague. Second, you are being unrealistic in terms of both framing (not framing them positively, i.e. the resolve to stop wasting money or eating junk food) and expected outcome. Another reason we fail, has to do with mindset. This has to do with the story we are telling ourselves as well as the language we are using -negative vs. positive language. I address this even further for women in a previous post, right here.

As I’ve mentioned before, internal work is crucial for anyone who wants to actually see their goals comes true and achieve real transformation. That means reading books like these (click here to access my virtual bookshelf), to help you gain insight about self-sabotaging behaviors. In addition to this, getting therapy, health coach, etc, may also be needed on your journey.

What you can do now

Stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself! Too many times, we add to our overwhelm and guilt. We do this by pilling on the pressure of “other people’s expectations”, etc. We spend so much mental and emotional energy focusing on what other people think of us, our own warped perceptions of ourselves, that we get discouraged and demotivated before we can even see results.

A reminder for women

As women, we’ve largely been conditioned to take on the burden of societal expectations, ideals and, norms of what constitutes the “ideal woman”, beauty, etc. So, when you first commit to throwing off that “yoke” of domestication, it becomes easier to focus your energy on what you want to do, for you. That means your fitness and health goals, as well as overall selfcare. Next, ask yourself what you want to achieve for the new year. Forget about what others might think of your goals and you; simply focus on what you need and want.

More on this

However, before you even get to this point, you need to ask yourself one very important question. Why do you want or need to do this? Is it for purely health reasons? Are you trying to reclaim your power (i.e. self-empowerment)? Or is it, all of the above. If it’s all of the above you need to get a plan and individualized support to help you get started. Typically, partnering with a health or wellness coach is the best way to ensure success. Hey, we’re already well into the first part of the new year. That being the case, I’d rather partner with an expert than go it alone. Why risk winding up with a repeat of the previous year?

Final thoughts

A wise person once said, “the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result”. If we’re honest with ourselves, we know this on some level. The problem lies in our capacity to break down all of this “stuff” that gets in the way of our realizing results. If this is a real struggle for you and you don’t want a repeat of last year, book a free 30 clarity call with me right here! Let’s stay connected here (susbscribe to the newletter) or join my community on IG.

A cozy tea for the winter

In case you’re wondering, I’m something of a tea fanatic, especially when it comes to spiced and herbal teas. Once fall and winter set in, it’s time for my favorite winter spice chai (tea) along with a few tasty snacks! This is also my go-to tea for those days when I’m feeling like my body needs an extra boost to fight off the sniffles. While this is similar to the Indian version of chai, my recipe has literally been winterized, lol!

Quick side note: this post may contain affiliate links from which I receive a small percentage from any sales using these links.

What does it do?

I love  this winter spice chai because it’s not just delicious, it’s what i like to call, a “multi-purpose tea”. Meaning, all or most of the ingredients have anti-inflammatory properties and support the body’s ability to heal itself and ward off illness. Not only that, this recipe is an easy one that can be made up in bulk and refrigerated for a few days. In other words, this tea works as both a treat and as a remedy for common digestive ailments including the sniffles! 

Ingredients

1. Ginger (ground or fresh)
2. Cardamom
3. Nigerian / African chili powder (ground hot African chili peppers)
4. Black and red pepper corns (ground)
5. Turmeric (ground or fresh)
6. Cinnamon
7. Nutmeg
8. Star anise
9. cloves
10. Organic raw honey or brown sugar
11. Vanilla (beans or extract- 1/2 teaspoon)
12. Almond extract (1/4 teaspoon)
13. Cold pressed raw coconut oil (1 table spoon to 32 ounces)
14. Goat milk (or you can use Nut or oat milk for the vegan version)
15. Filtered water
16. Organic black tea

Health benefits

Just in case you’re wondering, if you’re looking for a hot and soothing beverage that will ease your tummy after all of that holiday food, this tea is the one you want to drink. Ginger, cardamom and star anise, are great for reliving bloating, indigestion as well as nausea. Turmeric, one of my favorite add-ins, is anti-inflammatory and helps to support the body’s immune system. The same is true of ginger, which is also anti-bacterial and anti-microbial. Cardamom is warming and soothing to the stomach and also helps with indigestion. You can check out some of my earlier posts right here to read up on the health benefits of these healing ingredients.

Here’s how to make it

1. Bring water, coconut oil, goat milk (or nut milk) and chai spices to a simmer in a small saucepan or cast iron kettle, on the stove.
2. Next, reducing the heat, add in black tea.
3. Allow the tea to steep.
4. Strain the warm spiced mixture into a mug; this will hold back the whole spices and tea leaves.
5. Add your raw honey or brown sugar into your chai and sweeten to taste.

So, as you can see, it’s not hard to make this delicious winter chai recipe. What’s not to love about my spice and herbal tea blends! They are an amazing add to anyone’s recipe book because they are both tasty and healing. You can try some more tea recipes here and here!

My thoughts on commercial blends of “chai”

I’ve talked a lot about why I don’t like fast food and commercialized recipes that dilute the natural benefits that come from home cooked meals, beverages, etc. I’ve bought chain restaurant versions of “Chai” tea (a rather silly name, considering Chai literally means tea) and non compare to what I create in my kitchen. Not only are these commercial versions loaded with fillers and fake flavors, you can’t vouch for the quality of the ingredients. Also, the natural medicinal or healing properties of the ingredients are lost in the production process. All you are left with are artificial flavors, mystery fillers and tons of added sugar! Bottom line, making your own winter spice chai will support a healthy digestive track and immune system, but it will also save you a lot of money.

Sleepy Time Tea and Tincture

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A delicious fall and winter recipe

Nothing says holidays like a delicious rosemary roasted chicken stew with root vegetables! It’s a perfect way to beat those cold fall and winter days when, you’re looking for warm and hearty meal. Not only will it warm you up, but as you know, I love to add healing ingredients to all of my recipes and this one is no different.

(This post may contain affiliate links from which I receive a small percentage from the purchase of items on this page)

It’s the season

As you know, the fall and winter seasons not only mean cold ad blustery weather, but they also mark the start of the cold and flu season too! Plus, it’s also the time when many feel the winter blues or suffer from seasonal affective disorders. Including herbs and spices that help to boost your mood and immune are game changers for your health and wellness.

Easy cooking hacks

So because I’m smart-lazy, I love finding ways to cut down on meal prep time as well as clean up. During this time of year, that means either oven baked meals or my  new fave-using a Dutch oven to create healthy and hearty meals that are yummy but without all of the fuss. There is no reason to slave over a hot stove while everyone else enjoys the festivities. For me, cooking should not be drudgery nor does it need to be overly complicated. Using a Dutch oven is an awesome way to get the complexity of flavor, deliciousness and healing in every bite without a lot of clean up and prep time. You can simply add all of your ingredients in one or two simple steps, add some water or stock, and let the dutch oven do the rest.

My roasted chicken stew with root veggies

For my roasted chicken stew recipe, I include seasonal root veggies, a blend of rosemary and other herbs along with a selection of healing spices. With all the stress of buying gifts for family and, the reality of bills, easy is the key word. Not only that, healthy and healing are must haves in any dish I prepare, especially during the fall and winter months.

Benefits of cooking with a Dutch oven

I love the aesthetics as well as the functional aspects of a Dutch oven. Having grown up with a mom who used both cast iron and pressure cookers, I say a Dutch oven beats them all! As a matter of fact, according to an article by consumer reports  featuring a professor at the culinary Institute of America, it will give you better results than an instant pot any day. He also stated that this one tool, can easily replace your slow cooker, pasta pot, deep fryer and slow cooker! In other words, you can reduce the clutter and save money in your kitchen with this item alone.

Using an enameled cast  iron Dutch oven cuts down on clean up and is more durable than a conventional cast iron pot or Dutch oven. Plus, you can use it on the stove or in the oven which makes this a lot more versatile than a regular pot and it’s more energy

What you will need

1. Chicken leg quarters (1lb) or your favorite selection

2. Two sprigs of fresh rosemary

3. 1 quarter teaspoon of fresh thyme or 1/4 teaspoon of dried thyme

4. 1/4 teaspoon of Black Sea salt (optional)

5. 1/2 teaspoon of turmeric powder

6. 1/4 teaspoon of smoked paprika

7. 1/4 teaspoon of onion powder

8. 1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder

9. 1 large clove of garlic, roughly chopped

10. 1 teaspoon sea salt

11. 1 table spoon of olive oil

12. 1 cup chopped multicolored organic carrots

13. 1/2 cup of roughly chopped rutabaga

14. 1/2 cup roughly chopped parsnips

15. 1 small yellow onion, roughly chopped

16. 2 cups of water (or organic vegetable or bone broth)

17. 1/4 cup chopped celery (optional)

Here’s how to make it:

1. Season the chicken with salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and the other spices listed above. Next, in a Dutch oven or favorite cast iron skillet, add the olive oil over medium heat. Once the oil is heated, add the chopped garlic and onion until they become translucent and add the rosemary last.

2. Making sure the garlic, onions and rosemary don’t burn, add in the seasoned chicken to brown on all sides. Using the Dutch oven, you’re able to get that roasted effect without the fuss. Once the chicken is brown and the skin caramelized with a nice crisp, remove it from the Dutch oven and set it aside.

3. Deglaze your dutch oven with the bone broth and then add in the chopped vegetables and allow to simmer at medium to low heat. Then, cube your chicken and add it to the pot and simmer for another 15 mins on low heat. Turn off the heat and it’s now ready to serve with either some crusty sourdough or corn bread.

This is just one of my favorite soups for the fall and winter seasons. I always want to add healing elements (i.e spices, bone broth, etc) to each of my recipes. Check out my African twist on chicken noodle soup right here!

Sweet Potato bread: A Delicious Fall Craving

It’s the season for spiced lattes and buttery baked goods! but as always, I love to add some healing and nutrition to my seasonal edible joy. My sweet potato bread with dates, is one such yummy creation!  This fall delight is packed with deliciousness, nutrients, and healing.

Sweet Potato love

My yummy treat is a healthy spin on a spicy pumpkin bread recipe favorite. For this dish,  I switched out the pumpkin for sweet potatoes and added a few dates with a little banana! I know, what a combination but, it’s so decadent and still a far more healthy alternative to traditional pumpkin or sweet potato bread. By using sweet potatoes, dates, and banana, I also cut out a lot of refined sugar. Plus,  this recipe is also vegan and full of fiber.

okay, you got me! I’ve never been obsessed with
pumpkin bread, rather, I have a sweet potato obsession from childhood. More recently though, I’ve incorporated sweet potatoes in a lot of recipes because of their nutritional benefits.

Health benefits of sweet potatoes

Sweet potatoes are jam-packed with fiber, complex carbs, antioxidants and vitamins. While  naturally sweet, their sugars are unrefined and won’t spike your blood sugar like synthetic and processed varieties! Sweet potatoes are a nutrient-dense root vegetables. Not only that, they are rich in vitamins, minerals, fiber and, anti-oxidants.

The other ingredients

As for the other ingredients in this recipe, dates, bananas, walnuts and flax meal, also pack a nutritional punch! Dates are a great source of fiber, vitamins and minerals too. The same is true for flax meal, which is both heart healthy and an excellent source of fiber too. Walnuts contain healthy fats, anti-oxidants, omega-fatty acids, etc. They’re also anti-inflammatory and promote healthy gut bacteria.

Why this sweet potato bread recipe rocks

My family and I are picky eaters and when we all can agree on a yummy recipe that works for all, that’s a big deal! Adding ingredients that are naturally sweet helps you cut down on added sugars and sweeteners. Not only that, the combination of sweet potatoes, dates, and banana, add more depth of flavor and complexity.

Did I mention this recipe is perfect with a cozy cup of spiced herbal or black tea? Try it with a soothing cup of my immune boosting tea right here!

what you’ll need for this recipe

1.  1/2 cup of sweet potatoes (cubed)
2. 1/4 cup of dried unsweetened dates (well diced)
3. 1/2 medium banana
4. 1/4 teaspoon allspice
5. 1/2 teaspoon fresh grated nutmeg
6. 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
7. 1/8 teaspoon of ginger powder
8. 1 cup flour
9. 1/2 cup of flaxseed meal (flour)
10. 1/2 cup of olive oil
11. 1 teaspoon baking soda
12. 1/4 teaspoon sea salt
13. 1/8 cup finely chopped walnuts (unsalted)
14. 1/4 cup water (room temperature)

About the ingredients 

1. Sweet potatoes are actually a root veggie and not actual potatoes. They are high in fiber, B vitamins, vitamins C, D, antioxidants as well as iron and magnesium.

2. Dates are high in fiber, antioxidants and promote brain health.

3. Bananas are rich in potassium, fibber and are great for gut health. They also contain a good amount of vitamins A, B6, C, and magnesium.

4. Flax seed is great for heart health, omega-3 fatty acids, is a source of fiber and anti inflammatories. They’re are also a good source of plant protein.

5. Allspice is anti inflammatory, antiviral, great for digestion, blood and blood sugar.

6. Nutmeg is great for soothing the stomach, bloating, gas, detoxification, boost the immune system and so much more.

6. Ginger boosts the immune system, anti inflammatory, great for gut health, lowers blood sugar, an antiviral and antibacterial.

7. Cinnamon is also loaded with antioxidants, is ant inflammatory, improves gut health, reduces blood sugar and blood pressure.

8. Walnuts are high in antioxidants, omega 3, promotes gut health, fight cancer, and helps lower blood sugar.

How to prepare this yummy dish

First add the flax meal to the water until it’s well mixed and then add the olive oil to the mixture. Next, combine the dry ingredients together and gradually incorporate until slightly lumpy. Also, keep in mind that you don’t want to over work your sweet potato bread!

Next, put your batter into a greased and lined loaf pan.  I usually use an 9 x 5 loaf pan but you can use whatever is available. Then, bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for about an hour. You can use a tooth pick to check for doneness by sticking it into the center of your loaf. If the toothpick is sticky with the mixture when you remove the toothpick, leave it to bake for a little longer. This recipe is yummy for a cold fall of winter morning with a cup of tea or coffee!

Since this is perfect weather for breads and soups, check out my channel for some recipe ideas too!

More tea please!

For my household, tea is a 365 day a year affair! It’s also an opportunity to look for sustainable and eco-friendly tea bags, teas, accessories, etc. when it comes to tea and blending your own recipes, you’re only limited by your imagination!

Depending on what you’re going for, each variety can be blended according to taste and use. For instance, I have several categories of tea blends ranging from wellness to pleasure (leisure). These days, I’m also looking for sustainable and eco-friendly tea bags that are multifunctional and cute!

My hunt for sustainable and eco-friendly tea bags

In my hunt for good quality non-toxic reusable tea bags, I almost got lost in the maze that is Amazon! Checking reviews was a headache but I found the most honest ones to also be the most critical. After noting that Amazon has a problem with fake “favorable” reviews, I found that some of the best choices were actually on Etsy. Plus, it’s a great way to support small and local business.

Needless to say that after weeding through all of the “not so honest” reviews and questionable materials, Etsy came out on top. Not only can you talk to the actual vendors, you can get a response to your questions in a reasonable time frame.

Why blend your own tea?

For starters, I’ve become a hardcore tea drinker who loves her tea! Secondly, blending your own teas ensures that you get a top quality blend and know what’s actually in that tea bag. You’re also able to create wellness and detox blends that are specific to both your needs and taste.

As a home herbalist, I’m constantly learning the benefits and advantages of crafting my own tea blends. My money goes a whole lot further and I don’t have to worry about whether or not I’m buying varieties with questionable packaging and sourcing.

After all, what’s the point of going to the trouble of making a tea blend if you’re going to put it in a tea bag that’s made of bleached, synthetic fibers? Plus, they’re expensive/ overpriced, and are bad for you and the environment.

As a side note, check out my sustainable earth page for more diy ideas and eco friendly products, right here!

I once did an entire YouTube video on toxic food additives (see it here) and unhealthy fillers that plague our supermarket shelves. I even included a short clip of popular condiments, spreads, etc that were loaded with “mystery” ingredients!

Unforutunately, prepackaged and flavored teas also suffer from the same problem. I found many of these name brand teas had artificial flavorings, dyes, fillers and other unhealthy additives. Plus, some of these “additives “ are also banned in the EU for health concerns, but not here in the US! Say, what?

So what’s the big deal?

Have you ever done the math on how much you’re spending on prepackaged stuff? Including tea bags, etc? Well I have and I’m still kicking myself! When you add in the peace of mind that comes from knowing what’s in those tea bags? Yep, totally worth the extra bit of mindfulness and care! Reusable and sustainable tools, accessories, etc save you money and reduce our overall impact on the planet. Think about it; if everyone did her/ his part, we’d have a much cleaner planet!

Back to the tea

In general, the best quality teas are loose leaf tea. While some argue that you can’t taste the difference, I’m here to tell you that there’s a huge difference. Loose leaf teas give you the full flavor profile, a stronger brew and most if not all, the health benefits. The same can’t be said for prepackaged tea varieties  which typically contain  low quality remnants and fillers. So which one will you choose? Plus, check out one of my favorite tea recipe posts right here!

It’s the of summer but let’s not forget we’re still in the middle of a global pandemic! That means, no scrimping on selfcare in order to stay health and aligned. For me, a summertime wellness tea is an excellent way to help my body continue to naturally fight off pathogens.

My thoughts for this summer

As always, make sure you research your herbal ingredients as well as make sure they are pesticide-free! Over the last few years, I’ve crafted a variety of herbal tea blends for each season. As an intuitive lay herbalist, I bring together ingredients based on their properties and align them with my body’s needs.

I took this current state of the world as a sign to majorly reconnect with my herbal traditions. I’ve since labeled up my selfcare toolkit, resources, and training. Today’s recipe is a deliciously natural way to support the body in fighting off ailments. I believe the solution to most diseases and illnesses, can be sourced from nature to work with the body’s natural defenses.

*please note that this post contains some Amazon affiliate links and as an affiliate I do receive a small percentage from the sales any items using these links!

The reality 

Unfortunately, we live in a society that glorifies synthetic chemicals, big pharma, and the destruction of the natural world. The very people that are push drugs and the use of chemicals in our food systems are the same ones telling us not to look for natural alternatives. As for me and my family, we’ll still to our traditional remedies and limit our use of conventional forms. 

My experience has shown that my body (and my community agrees), responds better to our traditional herbal remedies. Again, I’m by no means a medical practitioner, and strongly suggest you see your physician for any issues.

About this tea

Having said that, my summer wellness tea blend is one of many I create for myself and my family to deal with allergies, boost immunity, etc. I often make a large kettle of it and then sweeten it with raw honey. I switch up the ingredients intuitively, depending on what I feel my body needs (i.e stress reduction, immune boost, etc). To be honest, I think everyone needs to have a wellness tea as part of their health and wellness routine. Herbs and spices have been used for centuries, to fight disease, ease chronic conditions, detox the body, and just overall wellness.

My story

I started to really lean into my herbal roots when I found that my seasonal allergies, cold, and flu symptoms dramatically decreased when I switched to herbal and natural remedies. Also, I see that as I get older, my body feels healthier and more aligned when I avoid using pharmaceuticals to ease discomfort and other ailments. Add in spices like ginger, turmeric, cardamom, etc and the relief goes to a whole new level!

For example, Instead of using synthetic sleep aids for insomnia, anxiety, or fatigue I’ve switched to traditional herbal alternatives. Plus, since I don’t like “popping pills” (and neither does my family), I was forced to create tasty teas and tinctures instead.

My tea craze

I have to confess, I have a tea obsession, and if it helps my body heal and fights off the bad stuff too? Then sign me up! I believe everything has its place. Wellness must always be holistic and look at the whole person. Unfortunately, this is not true for many western concepts of health and wellness. Since I believe my food should heal and nourish, my herbal tea recipes fall into that philosophy.

What’s in it

This latest recipe contains, dried rose hips, lemon balm, marshmallow root, calendula flower, butterfly pea flower, chamomile flower, cardamom pods, elderberries, and licorice root. On a side note, I get all of my ingredients from small specialty stores on Etsy that are pesticide-free and ethically sourced. But amazon you can also get organic ingredients on Amazon as well, just do your research.

My personal guide

Sometimes, I add more of one ingredient over the others because I feel my body might need more support in a certain area. If I’m dealing with a lot of stress, I might add more elderberries and rose hips to the mix. Other times, it just depends on what my intuition is telling me about my body’s needs at a particular time. This why a selfcare practice is so important. When you “selfcare” you are more connected and aware of your body. As a result, you’re better able to discern what your needs are and make adjustments.

Recipe guide (how much of each ingredient)

Since I like to keep things simple, I measure in terms of teaspoons or parts. Just make sure you stay consistent with your measurements. Also, be sure to check with your doctor to make sure it’s okay for you to consume these ingredients (i.e. you don’t have any allergies or reactions with medication, etc).

Ingredients for my wellness tea

1. Dandelion (root, leaf, and flower): is a liver tonic or blood purifier, optimizes digestion, stimulates bile, a great source of potassium, iron, calcium, and vitamins (A, B, C. D).
2. Calendula (flower): nourishes and cleanses the lymphatic system and moves congestion out of the body. It’s also great for treating gastrointestinal issues and indigestion.
3. Rosehips: rich in anti-oxidants, protects again heart disease, anti-inflammatory, anti-aging, boost immunity, and  lowers blood sugar.
4. Chamomile flower: anti-inflammatory, improves sleep,  digestive health, aides blood sugar control as well as anti-cancer properties.
5. Cardamom pods: good for boosting digestive health. The cooling effects of cardamom, despite being a spice, can help in relieving acidity
6. Elderberries: are packed with antioxidants, vitamins, anti-inflammatory, boost immunity, high in vitamin C, supports heart health, anti-cancer properties, as well as antidepressant properties.
7. Lemon balm:

   reduces stress and anxiety, eases indigestion, improves sleep, anti-viral, IBS symptoms, boost brain health, relieve nausea and pain reducer.

8. Marshmallow root: is antimicrobial, anti-inflammatory, treats acid reflux, heartburn, good for the respiratory tract, detoxes kidneys and is antibacterial.
9. Butterfly pea flower: fights fatigue, anti-inflammatory, rich in antioxidants, boost heart health, improves brain health, and is great for the skin.
10. Licorice root: gets rid of  bloating, reduces digestive issues, acid reflux, a good source of vitamins (A,C, E)helps with liver health, antiviral, respiratory and other infections.

where I get some of ingredients (Amazon)

1. Elderberries : https://amzn.to/3iBo1tJ
2. Raw honey, organic:  https://amzn.to/3nrh95Q
3. Rosehips : https://amzn.to/2GLWLLx
4. Chamomile: https://amzn.to/3jCjjNp

You should be able to find the rest at your local health food store or Etsy. Let me know in the comments, if you’ve got some other great sources as well.

I usually get my ingredients from organic suppliers in the US. Amazon also has some trustworthy sources, you just have to do a little research. Here’s just a few of the sources I use on Amazon:

How to brew this wellness tea

For any herbal tea, you want make sure that you don’t brew it too hot or else you’ll destroy most of its benefits. I go by a simple rule: delicate flowers and leaves, low heat, while  roots and fibers med to medium high heat.

Also, the longer you allow it to steep, the more concentrated it will be. To get the maximum benefits I usually steep my teas for at 15 mins and sweeten with raw honey. Don’t forget, raw honey has a number of healing benefits too. This recipe is perfect  over ice as a delicious morning detox tea or hot. You can check out more of my favorite tea recipes right here!

Creating your happy place

There’s nothing that screams relaxation when it comes to summer, more than my own DIY Outdoor meditation space. Having another place to unwind just adds more options. Not only is it a reflection of my own tastes, creating this DIY space is a great opportunity to get some light exercise! In case you’re wondering, it’s easy to customize such a space to both your wallet and your taste. Your only limitation is your imagination.

Note: This post may contain some Amazon links and as an affiliate, I do receive a small percentage from any sales generated

What you need to get started

For my outdoor nature spot, I used a combination of recycled household items, goodwill finds, and some cheap outdoor pillows and throws from amazon and Walmart. For the outdoors, I like to use items that will hold up to the elements. Since I’m somewhat lazy, I also like to use materials that are low maintenance too!

These days, everyone is looking for ways to add style and pazazz without breaking the bank! So for my space, I found an adorable storage bench from my local goodwill store. I also found some boho outdoor cushion covers on amazon and stuffed them. When I pulled it all together, my DIY outdoor meditation space had just the right atmosphere for a relaxing retreat.

Items I found on Amazon

1. Bohemian outdoor cushion covers from amazon ($18.99 for a set of 4)
2. Light-weight summer throw
3. Outdoor mini fountain

Items I found at Walmart

1. Pillow stuffing (I got the firm stuffing from the craft section at Walmart: $20.00 total)
2. Assorted low maintenance plants and herbs (I got the herbs for my container garden section)
3. Assorted all-weather small planters
4. Citronella tea lights ($0.97)

You don’t have to be an interior designer in order to get that “Pinterest” look. All you need is a little creativity, intention, and some focal elements. I use a combination of seasonal plants and herbs to create a garden balcony that’s both serene and colorful. For all of this, I spent less than $200 dollars total and, that includes the faux grass, seating, cushions, etc.

What’s your style?

So how do you pull all of this together and how do you avoid feeling overwhelmed? I always say, start with what you like! For colors, I use earth tones and pull in some tropical elements because that reminds me of home. Also, I love an eclectic mix of boho, tropical, and a dash of North African influences to really set the atmosphere and vibe.

So, start with the elements of color that you’re drawn to, select some “anchor” pieces (i.e. furniture, etc) to frame your space. Next, add your touches of nature, water features, potted plants, cushions, etc, to create an awesome relaxation zone.

Here’s one outdoor garden mood board I created to help me set the mood and atmosphere of what I wanted my meditation space to feel like:

DIY meditation garden inspiration mood board

As you can see, I didn’t make my space an exact copy of my inspiration board. Instead, I pulled in some of the elements and incorporated them into my final design. I still haven’t found a small outdoor fountain that really fits my space but I’ll update this post when I do! Check out some of my other posts for more selfcare tips and hacks!

Final thoughts

I can’t say enough about how important it is to have a separate place to just relax and release the stress of the day and or week. Stress reduction is one of those aspects of selfcare, that gets overlooked. But the truth is, stress makes a huge impact on our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Stress is one of the leading contributors to poor health and chronic illness. So, when you find creative ways to reduce stress, you’re doing delivering a huge punch in the face of bad health! Something as simple and cheap as a DIY meditation space can save you a lot of money in the long run by keeping you out of the hospital or paying for expensive medications! Let me know your ideas for creating your very own DIY meditation space and I’ll share them in another post!

All about selfcare mother’s day gifts that make sense!

Regardless of whether or not you’ve actually given birth to a child, every woman who stands in that role deserves a break. That’s why I think a selfcare Mother’s Day gift or treat needs to be something we “do” on the regular not just on one day in May.

Please note this post contains amazon affiliate links from which I may receive a percentage of sales generated from purchases associated with it.

About selfcare

Despite are the buzz and hype from media outlets and self-proclaimed selfcare gurus, Selfcare is more than the occasional pampering or extravagant fantasy vacation spa! Selfcare is actually a normal every day “thing” that we all need to practice for a healthy and aligned life. For the most part, selfcare starts with setting boundaries. This is especially true when it comes to nourishing your body and replenishing yourself mentally and emotionally.

Selfcare also makes required that you prioritize your own needs above other “things”, people and tasks. Contrary to what you or some others may think, selfcare is neither selfish nor narcissistic; selfcare is a necessary and live-saving practice that makes it possible to do and care for those people and things that matter to you!

Perfect gift ideas

There are so many great Selfcare gift options for Mother’s Day, that are perfect not just for “this” day in May, but year-round too. To make things easier and eliminate the overwhelm, I’ve made a list of Selfcare Mother’s Day gifts to win over any woman in need of a little TLC.

1. Give her the gift of a good night’s sleep or nap time. While it might seem pretty basic, sleep is at the top of the selfcare list for moms and everyone else. Craft a homemade gift card or decorative coupon for a full night’s sleep for the mom figures in your life. Add it to a lovely gift basket filled with indulgent goodies (bought and homemade) to complement the selfcare theme.

2. Give her the gift of one or more face masks both homemade and store-bought. You can try out one of my lovely DIY face mask recipes here! Just make sure that if you decide to buy rather than DIY, make sure it’s a face mask from a trusted clean beauty brand. Remember, if it goes on the skin, it’s gotta be free of toxins and chemicals. Also, be sure to watch out for ingredients and labeling. I like to check my store brands against the EWG’s. You can click right here to check out the EWG’s listing right here!

3. An instant pot is great for healthy and hassle-free cooking and is another great gift for moms. Especially, for anyone looking to save time and effort in the kitchen and still eats healthily. Never underestimate the power of time-saving gadgets like this. Using an instant pot to cook soups, stews and other delicious and healthy meals is golden. She can save meal prep time, while also taking some much-needed selfcare in a quiet space!

Other selfcare gift ideas

4. Aromatherapy candles and or diffuser kits are also lovely to add to that selfcare gift. we’ve all heard of the power of soothing scents to help relax the tension and ease stress. Soothing essential oils like lavender, mint, and eucalyptus are well known for both their aromatic as well as therapeutic properties which make for a great addition to that selfcare mother’s day gift!

5. Decorative journals are perfect for what I like to call a “brain dump”, where one can just pour out the stresses and issues of the, on paper. Journal writing helps us to reconnect and center ourselves as we reflect on the day and perform our own internal “self-check”. We spend so much time running around from task to task that we often lose sight of the important things as well as our health and wellness. Adopting a journaling routine forces us to make those necessary internal corrections as we engage with that internal process.

These are just a few thoughtful and multi-functional gifts that won’t cost you tons of money but will really show those motherly figures in your life, how much you care. This list is great for any time of the year; just switch it up with a seasonal basket and you’re good to go!

Before you go!

Grab a free digital download of my selfcare tips to ditch the overwhelm and get some awesome ideas and tips for a selfcare routine that’s budget-friendly and easy to sustain!