Author: Tonye

Feeling Grateful: Celebrating Progress and Change

Over last few weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotions. I have experienced creative highs as well as some dark days filled with sorrow. Nevertheless, I must express my heart today. I am beyond thankful and humbled by all the outpouring of support and engagement that has been directed towards me and my blog space. How do you define a moment when you achieve a major milestone in your life or a pivotal moment along the course of your journey?     I feel vindicated and freed by my commitment to be authentic and real with everyone who visits...

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Female Toxicity: Projection and Comparison

Today I decided to express my thoughts on a troubling and destructive trend I’ve come across in over the last few weeks. While I know that a number of women often fall victim to the comparison monster and their images of self to become warped by it, I’ve never grown accustomed to those who choose to victimize other women rather than seek the necessary healing and personal development that is needed to break free from such destructive processes! What do I mean? Well, I’m referring to a toxic interaction I had with another female author regarding the issue of...

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Good Woman, Good Girl Syndrome: Toxic Worthiness

Where do I start? Well, a good definition is a good place to start. Here’s mine: A “good” woman knows her place, is deferential, soft-spoken, never says “no“ (or almost never), gives of herself until nothing is left, selfless (she is always at the bottom of her list of priorities), and largely submissive and definitely not “opinionated.” In the more general sense, the quality of being “good” is defined as “of a favorable character or tendency,” wholesome, conforming to standards ( of what constitutes good) virtuous,  agreeable and so forth ( see Merriam-Webster online edition). Other definitions of “good” include, morally right; righteousness, propriety, etc. If still don’t know where I’m going with this, let me throw in a definition for feminine (courtesy of Google) which describes feminine in these terms: having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with women, especially delicacy and prettiness. Let me add the associated synonyms-delicate, gentle, graceful, girlish, etc.     Don’t be deceived by marketing gimmicks and misinformation campaigns promoted by both big agribusiness and the processed food industry. Labels on our foods matter and so do the methods of food production. Foods that have been cultivated using conventional means (i.e. large-scale pesticide and herbicide use, etc) are much more likely to contain damaging levels of these residues. We as consumers can not rely on these industries to “self-regulate” as their track records have shown them to be less than honest...

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Quick and Easy Food Storage Tips

We all know how expensive groceries can become especially when you move between seasons or making a huge shift in how you feed yourself and your family. Making healthy nutritional choices doesn’t have to break the bank nor does it have to become an overwhelming experience. While you might think you’re saving money (i.e. buying processed foods instead of fresh produce, etc) by not buying organic and locally sourced produce (get my FREE quick and easy grocery guide for the EWG recommendations for produce in 2017), or stocking up on frozen meals, the truth is that the hidden health...

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Moving Through Grief

I never thought I’d suffer a loss like this a second time in my own family. We always think that we have more time; that there’ll be another tomorrow to say I love you to those who mean the most to your heart. I’m so angry and filled with hurt at the fact that yet again, I find myself in this position! What makes it worse is the fact that it was so unexpected and brutal in its finality. No “goodbye”, “I love you”, or even that simple hug that I often took for granted.   While I know...

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