Category Self care

Selfcare and the realities of setting boundaries for black women

It’s hard enough learning and setting boundaries, as a woman. As usual, when it comes to black women living and exhibiting in America, that becomes even more of a challenge. Black women are exhausted but still expected to show up 100% at home and in the workplace. For the average black woman, there is no room for selfcare or taking a mental health day. Often times, they are expected by society and culture to exist and toll for the benefit of others and that ini itself should be reward enough!

Some observations about selfcare as a black woman

 The struggle is real and can often seem daunting especially when you consider all of the intersections that we as black women have to navigate daily. Also, historically and culturally, women have been conditioned to allow others to access our labour and resources to the point of exhaustion, if not death. As a matter of fact, it has been so normalized that when we start reclaiming our power and setting boundaries, they are often met with resistance and hostility from unexpected places. It does not matter that black women are exhausted, stressed and many in poor health due to a lack of selfcare and setting boundaries.

It starts in the mind

I hate to sound cliche but selfcare, selflove, etc regardless of where you are in the world, begins in the mind! It’s also why so many “forces” (i.e. patriarchy, misogyny, etc) don’t want women to access selfcare and are so violently opposed to these concepts. While patriarchy and misogny(noir) are not new-they’ve been in operation for millennia, what is new is the global awakening of women. In order to access selfcare and selflove, you have to first become self aware.

What does that mean?

What this means is that black women are coming to the realization that we are human before you’re a woman, and that we don’t need to prove our worth to anyone. It also means freeing your mind from the societal and cultural indoctrination (domestication) that has gaslighted women into thinking they don’t deserve to live autonomously and the right to pursue their dreams, grow, etc.

Black women are exhausted and have been so, for a long time

For much of our time here in North America, particularly here in the U.S., black women have been the proverbial “canaries in the coal mines” of society and culture. Our labour, resources and energy have been siphoned from us, without our consent. The few occasions when consent has been granted it was often under duress or outright deception. Now, the tide is changing as black women and women globally awaken to reclaim their autonomy, resources and power. Needless to say, those who have long benefited from the subjugation of women, are in violent opposition and unhappy to say the least.

Black women at the intersection of patriarchy and white supremacy

Because of patriarchy and white supremacy, black women have historically borne the brunt of inequity and discrimination. As a result, we’ve been disproportionately affected by the impacts of these poisonous systems and their institutions. Whether it is maternal health outcomes, treatment in the justice system, etc, black women are the most harmed. In short, black women are exhausted from the seemingly never ending task of navigating these systems and conditions. Awakening to these realities, rather than remaining on the hamster wheel going no where, is the beginning of the selfcare journey!

A brief reminder of her-story

Arguably, women globally have been the observers and harbingers of what’s coming as we have watched patriarchy destroy both humanity and the planet. Women are relearning “her-story” and coming to realize that we have been lied to and outright bamboozled!  Yes, before all of “this” we had power, were builders, and protectors of both humanity and the planet. In short, equality and equity have always translated into alignment and universal balance as it is the universal order of things.

Selfcare strategies to save your mind and body

Being a woman is unlike anything in the universe and we need to start walking in our power and truth. To begin to do that, we need each need selfcare strategies and tools that we help us thrive and not just survive on this blue globe! Our default does not have be exhaustion,stress and dis-ease. Consistent selfcare means a reduction in stress, fatigue and illness. It also means a far better quality of life and the ability to focus on those interests that elevate our lives. Research has shown that repeated stress, trauma, etc age and cause disease in all areas of the body. This also impacts our mental health status. You can read more on selfcare right here!

So why the shift?

The shift is taking place as more and more black women connect globally. Through social media and other platforms, black women are not just sharing stories and experiences, we are sharing knowledge. As more of awaken to the damages and lies of patriarchy, misogyny and anti-blackness, we are moving strategically. With knowledge and healing comes the ability to get off the altar of other people’s expectations. In this way, we reclaim our health, dreams and passions. Global politics, especially as it pertains to North America, has been a huge eye opener for black women. As we watch women’s rights be dismantled, the stripping away of reproductive rights, etc, it’s clear to see the writing on the wall. Be sure to tune into my YouTube channel as I really go “in” on this!

Final Thoughts

As more and more black women realize the options available to them globally, the more the fire and fight for true liberation burns. The myth of black excellence, proving yourself to justify your worth, begging for a seat at the table of institutional racism, etc is crumbling. Now, black women are finally beginning to make choices that are in their best interest and most of that is founded on selfcare and healing. Additionally, as more black women to begin to seek therapy, do the internal work, etc,  we can expect the societal impact to hit even harder. Arguably, that’s why those who have benefited from unchecked access to black women’s labor are getting more upset and loud about it. News flash: stay mad!

Safety and security first

I’m always surprised at how many women don’t know safety and security go hand in hand with selfcare. Selfcare is an essential tool for Black women to navigate the unique challenges they face in the world. However, selfcare is often thought of as being limited to physical and mental wellness, without considering the importance of personal safety in our selfcare. Safety and self care go together sis! In this context, security includes feeling safe in one’s environment, having access to resources, and feeling financially stable. These elements are essential for Black women to truly take care of themselves and improve their overall well-being. On one small note, this post may contain Amazon affiliate links from which I will receive a small percentage!

One of the key ways in which security can be a pillar of selfcare for black women is by ensuring that they feel safe in their environment. This means feeling safe in their homes, workplaces, and communities. Black women are disproportionately affected by crime and violence, and it is essential for them to feel safe in order to engage in self-care activities. This can be done by taking steps to improve personal safety. This means being aware of one’s surroundings, and also advocating for policies that promote safety in Black women’s communities.

More context on the idea of safety and security in selfcare

Another way in which security can be a pillar of selfcare for Black women is by ensuring they have access to resources. This includes access to food, housing, healthcare, and education. Black women are disproportionately affected by poverty, and it is essential for them to have access to resources in order to improve their overall well-being. This can be done by advocating for policies that promote economic justice and by seeking out resources in the community.

Security also includes feeling financially stable. Financial stability is an important aspect of self-care for Black women, as it allows them to meet their basic needs, provide for their families, and plan for the future. Financial stability can be achieved by creating a budget, building an emergency fund, and investing in long-term savings.

Some final thoughts

In conclusion, security is a critical aspect of selfcare for Black women. Black women have unique challenges that need to be addressed in order for them to truly take care of themselves. Security can be achieved by feeling safe in one’s environment, having access to resources, and feeling financially stable. Self-care is not limited to physical and mental wellness, but it should include all aspects of well-being, including security. By including security in their self-care practices, Black women can improve their overall well-being, feel more in control of their lives, and navigate the challenges they face with resilience and determination.

A few tips on how Black women can incorporate security into their selfcare practices

1. Take steps to improve personal safety. This includes being aware of one’s surroundings, avoiding dangerous areas, and carrying pepper spray or a personal alarm.
2. Advocate for policies that promote safety in Black women’s communities. This includes supporting initiatives to reduce crime and violence, and advocating for increased funding for community policing programs.
3. Seek out resources in the community. This includes connecting with local organizations that provide support with food, housing, healthcare, and education.
4. Create a budget and invest in long-term savings. This includes creating a budget to manage your finances, building an emergency fund, and investing in long-term savings to ensure financial stability.
5. Seek out therapy or counselling. This includes seeking out therapy or counseling to help you process any trauma or stress that you may be experiencing.
6. Connect with other Black women for support. An example would be connecting with other Black women in your community, or joining a support group. This can provide a sense of community and support to help you navigate the challenges you face.
7. Prioritize self-care and make it a regular practice.This means including security as a regular self-care practice, and incorporating it into your daily routine.

An important reminder about security and self care

It’s important to remember that selfcare is a continuous journey that requires patience and consistency. It’s essential to find what works best for you, and to be kind to yourself when implementing these tips. Remember that security is a critical aspect of self-care for Black women, and it’s essential to include it in order to improve overall well-being, feel more in control of one’s life, and navigate the challenges they face with resilience and determination.

Some real life examples of how Black women can incorporate safety and security into their self-care practices

1. Example 1: A Black woman who lives in a high-crime area can take steps to improve her personal safety. This includes taking a self-defense class, avoiding dangerous areas, and carrying pepper spray or a personal alarm. She can also advocate for policies that promote safety in her community, such as increased funding for community policing programs. Additionally, she can seek out resources in the community, such as counseling or therapy, to help her process any trauma or stress she may be experiencing.
2. Example 2: A Black woman who is struggling financially can take steps to improve her financial stability. This includes creating a budget, building an emergency fund, and investing in long-term savings. She can also seek out resources in the community, such as job training programs or financial counseling. Additionally, she can connect with other Black women for support, such as joining a support group or connecting with a financial advisor.

Last but not least

It’s important to remember that self-care is a continuous journey that requires patience and consistency. It’s essential to find what works best for you, and to be kind to yourself when implementing these tips. Remember that security is a critical aspect of self-care for Black women, and it’s essential to include it in order to improve overall well-being, feel more in control of one’s life, and navigate the challenges they face with resilience and determination. Also, be sure to check out my virtual book shelf for some of the best books for women this year! Please be safe out there my sistas!

Economic hardships

We’re in a recession folks and that means tightening our belts. It also means being resourceful and finding creative ways to self care on a tight budget.  That also means, getting recession proof self care strategies to help you weather the storm! While no one wants to get down in the dumps over the economy, the truth is that we need to adapt. A recession, economic hardship, etc means finding creative ways to stay healthy and keep your household in order.

Adaptation and resourcefulness is the key

I get it. Who wants to think about trying to workout or maintain a gym membership when we’re in the middle of a recession? Let’s not even add in the cost of transportation, fuel to keep our homes warm, etc? Well, when you understand that selfcare is critical to you staying healthy and getting through the tough times, your mindset shifts. Having recession proof self care strategies in place are like, having a “Go bag” during a crisis, national emergency etc. I know. It sounds dramatic but it’s so true! If you suffer from anxiety, PTSD, etc, you know how important it is to have the right tools in place to help you make it through your crisis.

In the case of recession proof self care strategies, these are crucial for both the short and long term. While humans are extremely adaptable, recent happenings around the globe have left many people struggling to cope. It’s a fight for them to address their physical, mental, and physical health. According to the WHO (world health Organization) and  US News & World Report, things a pretty grim for a lot of folks.

Recession proofing your self care

Focusing on the recession and other local and global crisis won’t offer solutions or make us feel any better. To borrow a quote from Tony Robins, “it’s not a lack of resources, but a lack of resourcefulness”, that’s the problem. To get beyond the paralysis of an economic or personal crisis, means getting out of that “headspace” that keeps you bound. Using your self care practice gives you the ability to weather storms in your life. Not only that, with these strategies you develop solution-based ways of thinking. This will help you to handle stress, anxiety, etc in healthy and productive ways. Also, It will help you stick to healthy activities (i.e. workout routines, etc). The mindful aspect of self care, helps sustain and support your health and overall well being.

After all, if you’re sick, stressed out and overwhelmed, your chances of navigating and surviving current happenings (both local and global), are slim! I’m not trying to freak you out, but depending on where you live in the world and your “resources” things are going to be very tough for a while.

Here a few tips

1. Manage your stress (i.e. EFT, meditation, breathing exercises, etc). You’d be amazed at how much better you’ll feel when you are able to control your stress level. Not only that, stress negatively impacts your immune system, mental health, etc.

2. Eat foods that support your immune system and energize the body). The quality of your food choices can not be over emphasized here. Realize that healthy food is both energy and medicine for your body.

3. Organize your physical and mental space. Get rid of overwhelm by pouring out your thoughts, feelings, etc, down on paper. A good brain dump gives you clarity and improves focus.

4. Create a weekly and monthly budget to keep track of, and organize,  your expenses to avoid overwhelm and anxiety

5. Set aside time (i.e. 30 mins, etc) each day to attend to your personal self care needs. This is separate from to-do lists and daily maintenance activities.

Final thoughts

Recession proof self care strategies will give you the endurance and mindset to make it though. Also, these strategies don’t work in a bubble. You have to consider your environment and prioritise your health and safety first. Then, in that context of self care, plug in these strategies so that you have a sustained plan of action. As always, you can read some more posts for budget friendly selfcare tips right here  and free resources too! Also, share this post with your community and be sure to subscribe.

Summer outfit tips

We all get excited for summer getaways this time of the year. But, things can get uncomfortable and ugly if we’re not prepared or fail to pack appropriately.  So, today, I felt it was a good idea to share my summer vacation outfit tips. After all, it’s more than possible to look, chic and still be comfortable!

Getting prepared

As a kid, I hated all of the excess baggage, incidentals, etc and always promised myself that when I grew up, I’d never put myself or my kids through that. Fast forward to adulthood and I’ve come to appreciate the benefits of being prepared. But unlike my parents’ version of preparation, I go for style, function and durability. This means that everything I pack can transition from day to night as well as from hot to cool (for those cooler summer evenings). Over time my summer vacation outfit tips have shifted and evolved as I gained more travel experience. This also includes learning to pack for emergencies and sudden changes in my itinerary.

Getting out the door

Long before you head out the door, it’s always a good idea to have a travel or vacation check list posted either on the fridge or your bathroom mirror. Trust me, this works and you’ll thank me later. That way, you can keep a running tally of everything you’ve packed and what you still need to include in your luggage. It also helps you stay organized and it will keep you from over packing! Next, keep emergencies items, meds, etc, in your carry on bag. This also goes for small electronics like your cellphone and or digital reader. If you’re more of a visual person , check out my tipsheet pin on Pinterest!

About those clothes

Always pack clothing that’s either wrinkle-free or easy wear. Unless you’re going to some high-end resort where dry cleaning services are readily available, go for low maintenance fabrics.  It’s relatively easy to find great outfits that are made from sustainable fabrics that are also durable and feel good against the skin. Just recently I was pleasantly surprised at how Target has expanded it’s clothing line to include form, function and cuteness to it’s brand! I found some great, affordable boho chic summer dresses to add to my closet. One more thing. As much as possible, pick outfits that can be layered in order to expand your outfit selection. It’s a great way to make sure that you always have a temperature-appropriate outfit to get you through your trip!

Your carry on luggage

One quick reminder here: the airports and most other travel hubs, ports, etc are a hot mess! So, expect that whatever can go wrong, will have a high probability of happening. That’s why I always carry a wrinkle free out fit that can go from day to evening without any issues. No anxiety of being stuck in the same outfit because your luggage got delayed or lost. When you have a capsule easy-wear out fit in your carry-on you won’t  have to deal with that.

A gentle reminder

Now that you’re all packed up and ready to go with my summer vacation outfit tips, I  have to remind you to also remember to selfcare this summer as well. Also, pack a little wellness pack to boost your immune system to help you stay healthy on your trip. Try my awesome summer wellness tea recipes with these easy to use ingredients. What are some of your summer vacation outfit tips? Share them so everyone can add to their own lists.

All about that New Year resolution

Nothing says New Year like a gym run, right? But knowing how unlikely that is right now, why not make your selfcare that much more powerful? By incorporating your weight goals with selfcare, you can seriously up your game! Now, it becomes weight loss selfcare strategies rather than just one or the other! There was a time that I thought selfcare was the same as getting fit, losing unhealthy weight, etc. The truth is, it’s a lot more than that!

What weight loss isn’t

Remember, weightloss and selfcare are two different things. The same can be said for fitness vs selfcare. Let me put it another way. Selfcare is or should be the foundation on which all of “these” things rest. In other words, when you selfcare the right way, losing weight, getting fit, eating right, etc seamlessly fits into your daily routine because they are resting on the right foundation. In short, weight loss is more a by-product of a healthy lifestyle where you are intentional about the foods you put into your body, get active, etc. To get it right you need weight loss selfcare strategies to help you sustain “this” new way of living!

More on selfcare

Like I mentioned earlier, selfcare is the foundation on which you build a healthy lifestyle. So, once you have a clear and consistent selfcare routine in place, everything else follows without seeming like a chore or overwhelming. For example, when you set aside time for yourself, you are literally creating the space for you to tend to your own needs. Then, you decide what you want to include in your selfcare plan that will achieve your goals. In basic terms, selfcare is actively engaging with your own health and wellness. That includes mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Selfcare is advocating and giving attention to what you need as a human being, regardless of what others think about it! You can read more about selfcare and empowerment in an earlier post I wrote. You can also read one of my favorites, 14 ways to love yourself!

Where to start

Before you rush out there to buy a subscription to some online fitness program, join a gym (be careful out there), think about who you are doing “this” for. In other words, make sure this is something for you and no one else. Next, be ready to commit to it even when you don’t feel motivated! I’d also recommend getting some help or guidance from a health coach (i.e. support, etc) to get strategies and a program that fits your needs and goals. I always have a complimentary clarity session with all of my potential clients. Even if you choose to do it alone, you need to have a plan that’s easy to stick to.

A few helpful strategies

1. A great place to start is by creating your own selfcare journal. In it, you can pour out all of your frustrations, concerns, goals, etc down on paper without judgment. Also, with your mind clear of all the stuff in your head, you can make better decisions about your health and wellness needs.
2. Create a food journal (you can get a copy of my selfcare food journal right here).
3. Prayer and or meditation are great ways to get in touch with yourself spiritually. They also help alleviate stress as well as anxiety. Start with as few as 5 minutes in a quiet area each day, and gradually increase the time as it becomes part of your routine.
4. Remove yourself from toxic relations, connections, etc. Let’s face it. Life is too short to allow your mental and emotional health to take a beating from negative and toxic people. Let this new year be the year that you cut all of these toxic cords!
5. Next, you must include some “sort” of vigorous physical as one of selfcare strategies-aka, exercise. I’ve found the most sustainable exercise regimes are those that naturally align with your interests. Since I love martial arts and hiking, these are my go-to forms for exercise.

Bottom line

The hardest part of this journey is actually getting started and this is where having the right support will make the difference. Whether you sign up with a health coach, online support group, etc, you’ll need one of these to help you get started and stay on track! While I don’t typically offer discounts for my services as a health coach, these unprecedented times mean paying it forward. In that spirit of community, I’m some of my premium empowered selfcare and coaching programs right here!

About the author

Tonye Tariah is a Holistic Health Coach, and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. Meaning, she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each her situation. By doing this, she’s better able to help women transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

My love affair with skincare

Y’all already know that I’m a bonafide skincare freak so of course, I have to be on the lookout for awesome ingredients to use in my creations. I don’t apologize for loving skincare because that’s part of my self-care routine. As I get older, I’m learning to be even more mindful of what my body needs especially when it comes to the largest organ of my body! So yeah, it’s important especially when I want to make sure I’m not using toxic creams and brands on my face! This flaxseed and cornstarch mask hits some major skincare concerns for me. This flaxseed and cornstarch face mask is anti-aging, balances, and soothes all in one go.

*Please note that as an amazon affiliate I make a small percentage as a result of any sales generated from the links in this post!

A word on those department stores and luxury skincare brands

Over the years I’ve spent a lot of money on expensive luxury and department store brands. Like a lot of women, I ended up being mostly, underwhelmed. Short of major plastic surgery, most don’t have any more dramatic results than cheaper store brands or homemade skincare. Granted, some of these luxury brands have good results, but you can also DIY a lot of great all-natural treatments and moisturizers in your own kitchen. My flaxseed and cornstarch face mask is just one example. If you’ve read any of my other skincare posts (and on other lifestyle blogs too), you’ll find easy and effective recipes that work too!

The nitty-gritty of my secret weapon DIY face mask

My mom used to say “ your makeup is only as good as the skin it sits on” and that’s the truth y’all! It doesn’t matter how many breakthroughs we make in makeup r &,d. The truth is, healthy skin is a major factor in a flawless look. That being said, who doesn’t want beautiful healthy skin? That doesn’t need any makeup at all?

Even as the years go by, I strive to support and enhance the health and beautiful my skin. I do this through both diet and my skincare routines. This DIY flaxseed and cornstarch face mask include some of my secret ( no longer secret now, lol) ingredients. As always, consult your healthcare provider if you have any allergies or sensitivities before applying any of these recipes.

Nutritional benefits

Flaxseed

They are high in omega-3, fatty acids, a great source of lignans ( a type of photochemical)which may help in fighting breast cancer risks, high in Dietary Fiber, lower bad cholesterol, a good source of high-quality plant protein, may reduce blood pressure, and packed with antioxidants. Not only that, but it may also help you meet those weight-loss goals as well!

Aloe vera gel

Aloe vera has been used for centuries in cooking as well as in herbal remedies. If you don’t know aloe vera gel comes from the leaves of the aloe plant. It’s been used as a herbal remedy for constipation, IBS, and lowering blood sugar and cholesterol. These are just a few of the many health benefits of aloe vera gel!

Cornstarch

While cornstarch is often used as a thickening agent, there’s no real benefit to ingesting it. This is actually one of those things you want to limit, substitute with something else or just toss out of your pantry!

Skincare (topical) benefits

Flaxseed

The omega-3 fatty acids (aka, alpha-linolenic acid) in flaxseeds help to smooth, hydrate, and moisturize the skin. While the lignans help reconstruct broken vessels and skin cells. Omega-3 fatty acids also contain antioxidants that protect and shield the skin from damaging free radicals and UV rays, score! Did I mention the fact that they’re also anti-inflammatory? Score!!

Aloe vera gel

Aloe has been used for skin conditions like burns, dandruff, etc for centuries. Nowadays it’s popular in both skincare and beauty treatments because of its numerous skin benefits. It’s great for treating dandruff, acne, eczema, and sunburn. It also helps to even out the complexion and moisturizes without being oily. Because it’s rich in vitamin E, it helps restore moisture to the skin.

Cornstarch

When applied topically, it soothes skin irritation, like rashes, sunburn, and itching. It also has a gentle exfoliating effect and helps remove excess oil from the skin. Cornstarch soothes redness.

Rosehip essential oil: the secret superpower ingredient!

Widely used since ancient times for its valuable healing benefits, rosehip oil is rich in skin-nourishing vitamins and essential fatty acids. Also, this essential oil contains phenols that have been shown to have antiviral, antibacterial, and anti-fungal properties.

Here are the main benefits of my secret ingredient:

1. It hydrates
2. Moisturizes
3. It’s a natural exfoliant and brightener
4. Boosts the formation of collagen
5. Anti-inflammatory
6. Protects against sun damage
7. Reduces hyperpigmentation

What you will need:

1. 2 tablespoons flaxseed meal ( organic)
2. 1 tablespoon cornstarch (organic)
3. 2 drop rosehip essential oil (secret ingredient)
4. 1 drop lavender essential oil
5. Use enough organic aloe vera gel (you can use filtered water if you have aloe allergies) to make a paste with medium thickness/ consistency; approximately 3 tablespoons.
6. 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric powder (organic)
7. 1 tablespoon of chamomile water made from steeping dried flowers in hot water for 10mins.

Making your skintastic face mask

Use a small glass bowl (use it only for DIY skincare stuff!) and pour your dry ingredients into it first. Next, add the aloe vera gel, essential oils plus, the tablespoon of chamomile water. Then, gently mix everything together until the mixture is smooth and apply to clean skin. If any remains, simply store in an airtight glass container, place in the fridge, and store no longer than 24-48 hours.

Before you go!

Did you check out my other DIY face mask recipes? My avocado moisture-rich face mask is just one of my favorite recipes guaranteed to lush up your skin! Also, read this article on why women have such a hard time with self-care to help you stop the self-sabotage in 2021!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tonye Tariah is a Holistic health strategist, Coach, and the founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. Tonye helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. Meaning, she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each her situation. By doing this, she’s better able to help women transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

Staying fit and healthy through the holiday season

We all know how busy the holiday season can get especially when you’ve got multiple tasks to juggle. Let’s not even talk about trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle! This is why I’ve pulled together 5 women’s fitness and self-care tips to get you through the holidays!

The holidays can be super emotional around this time of year, given what we’re all dealing with globally. But we can’t allow our health and wellbeing to suffer because our bodies need all the support we can give them. This is true particularly for women, with multi-tasking and trying to stay on budget. A lot of us or our neighbors have lost jobs, fallen sick with, lost loved ones, etc.

What can we do to stay healthy (even during a pandemic)?

Even if we feel like we have no control over what’s happening locally and globally, there are a ton of things we can do to not just stay healthy, but make our lives more meaningful and infused with joy this holiday season. You don’t need a lot of money or complicated skills to do a lot of little things that will make a huge difference for the mind-body-soul connection.

With these 5 women’s fitness and self-care tips, you’ll be able to carve out time for yourself without getting overwhelmed. Part of being there for your family means being there for yourself when you give your needs the attention they deserve.

With that in mind here are a few powerful tips you can get and stay in “shape” this season

These are just a few tried and true solutions I’ve used over the years for myself as well as clients. The key takeaway is that you are the only one who can make these changes in your life. No one can or will do this for you so if you want to get healthy and stay that way even in tough times, do the work.

1. Start your day with a 5-10 minute “self-check” session. Lay in bed or sit in a quiet place and just take stock of how your body feels, your mood, and your general mindset. This will help ground you as well as keep you from stressing out at the start of your day.

2. Get your body moving (formal exercise or just a quiet walk). When you get your body in motion it triggers the release of those “feel-good” chemicals in your brain, releases tension, and increases focus. It’s good for your cardiovascular system as well as your mental health.

3.  Take 10-15 mins to meditate and set your intentions for the day. This allows you to focus on the activities that will give positive results rather than the negative. There is a lot of truth to the phrase “create your happy”. When you direct your thoughts and energy to those things that yield “good” outcomes, etc you’re less likely to get stressed out and overwhelmed. You feel more aligned, in control as well as focused on the things you want to achieve.

Now for the internal

4. Drink a cup of daily detox tea, water, or smoothie. If you need a few ideas, start with my super green smoothie right here!  Also, this recovery smoothie is awesome as both a  post-workout and a detox smoothie. The ingredients have anti-inflammatory as well as nutritional benefits. This helps to cleanse the body of harmful toxins, by-products of chemical processes in the body as well as support your body’s natural self-healing abilities.

5. Substitute healthy ingredients for “unhealthy” ingredients in your favorite fall and winter must-have meals. That also includes “detoxing” your fridge and pantry so that you have budget-friendly healthy meal options. If you’re  not sure where to begin, grab my FREE Pantry Detox Gude GUIDE HERE

Also, for a complete Introductory Produce, Shopping Guide grab a copy HERE!!

Final thoughts

Be grateful for those little things in our lives that create beauty in their simplicity.  Also, stop focusing on the things that are beyond your control and literally choose joy and positivity instead of the negative. This will also help you feel better physically and less drained energetically. Remember, you’ve got this and you are not alone!

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

Why a spiced elderberry and echinacea tincture?

With everything that’s happening today (i.e. global pandemic), this certainly isn’t the time to neglect your health. That’s why I’m pulling out my spiced elderberry and echinacea tincture today!  Fall and winter are usually the seasons when we tend to bone up on our teas, infusions, and whatnots, in preparation for the flu season. Over the last few years, I’ve begun to pull back on the use of over-the-counter medicines in favor of home remedies and traditional health support herbs, etc.

My thoughts on conventional cold and flu drugs

Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for conventional pharmaceuticals, but I’ve since come to appreciate and realize that traditional remedies can be far more effective and less damaging to the body. I’m not making any health claims here, but for me, I believe traditional medicines seem better able to work in harmony with the body’s own natural mechanisms for healing itself.

Going back to my roots

Drawing on the traditional teachings of my own ancestors within my family as well as my own experience as a novice in herbalism, this is my preference. Always consult your own healthcare provider for any treatment regimes or medicines.  This simple spiced elderberry and echinacea tincture is one I love and have added to my home remedies cabinet! It’s cheaper and works best for me and mine even as I’m sharing this recipe with you.

**As always, make sure you check with your healthcare provider to ensure that these ingredients are safe for you to consume, especially if you have medical conditions or medicines that might interact with any of these ingredients!!

**Please also note that this post contains affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Making my  batch of spiced elderberry and echinacea tincture

I always start with organic or homegrown ingredients especially, when it comes to something you’re going put in your body. If you’re like me and don’t have tons of space for a large backyard garden, I love the versatility of dried berries. Organic all the way baby, even the spices! There are so many recipe options for elderberry tinctures out there. I’m using this combination of spices and other ingredients because it not only tastes good, but the spices also have some healing benefits as well!

Simple things you’ll need for this recipe

1. 1 cup of organic dried elderberries.
2. Use high-quality alcohol like vodka or you can use rum. Just make sure it has a high concentration of alcohol; 80 proof).
3. 1/4 cup of organic dried echinacea.
4. 1/2 teaspoon of fresh ground nutmeg.
5. Next, add 1/4 teaspoon of ginger powder.
6. You will also need 1/4 teaspoon of ground cinnamon.
7. 1/4 cup of organic raw honey (to be added after the curing process).
8. Small and medium-sized wide-mouth mason jars.
9. 1 oz Dropper bottle
10. Cheesecloth (or a fine-mesh sieve)

About the two main ingredients

Echinacea: 

Well known for its many health benefits, echinacea reduces inflammation, improves immunity, and lower blood sugar levels. Also, it’s used as a natural pain reducer, helps with digestion as well as skin-boosting benefits too! Extensive research has been done on it’s medicinal properties and confirmed to be antifungal and antibacterial and is safe with few side effects. Also, for maximum effectiveness, it’s best to take it at the first signs of illness.

Elderberry:

Elderberries have been widely studied in Europe and believed to be one of the most potent natural plants for fighting cold and flu viruses. Not only that, they are loaded with antioxidants, vitamins, boosts, fights infection, and supports the immune system. Elderberries have powerful antiviral properties and are helpful for treating upper respiratory infections and reducing fever.

How to make your elderberry and echinacea tincture

Take all of your dry ingredients, including the spices, and fill your jars ½ – ¾ full. Next,  completely cover them with the vodka or rum and then tightly cover your mixture with the lid. Then, gently invert your mixture several times to ensure that the alcohol is fully incorporated. Store it in a cool and dry place (I use my pantry) for 4-6 weeks, periodically inverting it for the entire time frame.

Once it’s ready, simply strain the mixture with a cheesecloth or fine mesh (be sure to get as much liquid out as possible) and pour it into a dropper bottle or small jar. Don’t forget to date and label your tincture and include the recipe.

A quick note on storage

No refrigeration is needed because of the high alcohol content used in the process. This is why it’s important to use at least 75 proof or higher vodka, rum, etc because it has much lower water content plus a longer shelf life (a year versus a few weeks!).

Before you go

There are so many health benefits to be found in a variety of fruits, veggies, and herbs. From tinctures and syrups to dried fruit and vegetable snacks. Read my post on making nutritious homemade dried fruit snacks here!

About the author

Tonye Tariah is a Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

It’s Selfcare weekend again and it’s all about the lovely locks today. This is a time when we’re all looking for ways to save money, but still, keep every part of ourselves healthy. That also includes ensuring that your hair and scalp are well-nourished, balanced, and healthy! Today, I’m sharing a recipe for my favorite hair tonics, the apple cider vinegar hair rinse!

Just an FYI: this post does include some affiliate links at no cost to you. I do receive a small percentage resulting from any purchases you make via my shop easy links. 😉

Over the last few months my love of all things wellness, especially DIY, have been reinvigorated and turned up to 10!  The universe has also conspired with “these times” to reconnect me with my herbalism roots. As a young girl growing up in Nigeria, I was always fascinated by the discussions my uncle, a traditional herbalist and naturopathic doctor( even before that was a thing) would have with my mom, an educator.

Some favorite family memories and my herbalism roots:

Whenever he would fly in from the UK or some “exotic” place (yeah, India and Asia were always magical to a kid like me), he and my mom would discuss and debate about everything from holistic medicine, herbs, etc to conventional medicine and our flawed and inadequate healthcare ( it’s the same by the way!)systems.

Now, because of and some might even say, destiny, I find myself working in the health care field motivated to embrace my herbalism roots and traditional modes of supporting the body’s health. Not that it took a global pandemic to get me here; my own healthcare journey has been leading me in this direction for some time.

Why I’m getting back to basics:

Now, as I watch the failings of both conventional medicine and unsustainable healthcare infrastructures built on flawed market-centered principles rather than on human health and dignity, I’m reconnecting with my ancestral wellness teachings.

My self-care hair treatment is just one of several recipes in my personal materia medica (herbalism recipes). Each ingredient is geared toward supporting and optimizing the natural health of both the hair and scalp!

An FYI:

Just so you know, you can always tweak this recipe and make it your own, depending on your needs or intent. Also, I make no claims to being a healthcare provider, doctor, or practitioner. These are my own traditional herbal recipes that been passed down to me via oral tradition as wells as my own creativity. Bottom line, do your research, and when in doubt, contact your primary care physician, provider, dermatologist, etc.

Apple Cider vinegar Hair & Scalp Rinse (Organic)

1. I 1/2 cups of filtered water

2. 5 tablespoons organic raw coconut oil

3. 10 drops lavender essential oil

4. 8 drops rosemary essential oil

5. 8 drops peppermint essential oil

6. 4 drops tea tree oil

7. 1/4 cup organic apple cider vinegar

I use a variety of brands for sourcing my essential oils but for a budget-friendly and good quality brand, I recommend Now Brand Essential oils. Whichever brand you use, make sure it’s one you know and trust!

* Never apply any essential oil directly to the skin or scalp as they can cause irritations, burns, or other adverse reactions. Also, if you have sensitive skin or allergies to any of these ingredients, be sure to check with your dermatologist or health care provider to ensure that they are safe for you to use.

Items Needed:

1. 3.4 oz, 8 oz or 16 oz spray bottle, preferably glass for prolonged storage in the fridge as plastic tends to break down and could possibly react with essential oils mixture)

2. All of the ingredients listed in the recipe above

3. sharpie marker for recording date and time of creation.

4. Sticky label (waterproof or you can simply affix it to the bottle or use clear packing/masking tape over the writing on the label). 

Storage:

This mixture should ideally be stored in the fridge no more than a  few days; 1-week max since there are no preservatives in this DIY recipe.

Benefits of the apple cider vinegar & rosemary hair rinse:

1. Apple cider vinegar– strengthen hair and improves luster by lowering hair and scalp pH. It may also reduce scalp infections and itchiness. Apple cider vinegar has been shown to thicken hair and remove dead skin cells that can clog follicles and hinder your hair’s ability to grow. 

2. Lavender essential oil– promotes and encourages hair growth, is antimicrobial, reduces skin inflammation (anti-inflammatory), and also has a relaxing effect (aromatherapy). 

3. Rosemary essential oil– stimulate follicles, strengthening hair from the root to the tip (making hair longer and shinier), and reduces hair loss. 

4. Peppermint essential oil– shares some of the same antimicrobial properties as tea trea oil as well as helping to cool the scalp, eliminate dandruff, and encouraging hair growth.

5. Tea tree essential oil– unclogs hair follicles and is antimicrobial and also antiseptic. This essential oil is also beneficial for the hair and scalp given that it helps remove the build-up of dead skin cells, oil, and styling products. It also increases oxygen and nutrient supply to the hair follicles.

6. Coconut oil– aides overall scalp health, fights dandruff, thickens, and moisturizes dry hair. Coconut oil also reduces breakage and split ends.

If we’re honest, we all love to get something special for Valentine’s Day! But, have you ever tried gifting yourself with some TLC?  My 14 Ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, flips the script on the usual! Nurture yourself and stop giving from an empty well. To help you get started, I’ve got an introductory list of 14 ways you can show yourself some much needed TLC!

Too many times, we women overlook our own needs and desires in order to tend to those around us. Experience has shown me that on those “special” days, I need to find meaningful ways to show myself some love, especially on Valentine’s Day. Self-sacrifice is a noble thought, but neglecting your own health and wellness will take you down an ugly path of dissatisfaction, poor health, and burnout.

Every year we find new ways to up our romantic game for Valentine’s Day and rarely put ourselves in the equation for some “self” love. Department stores, media outlets, and just about “everyone” out there is trying to sell you something to buy for someone else, as a token of your affection. But I say, how about YOU show yourself some love! Prove to yourself, that you matter. Show yourself that you are more than enough without needing someone else to validate your worth. 14 Ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, helps you do just that!

With that in mind, I’ve pulled together  helpful ways that you can show yourself some TLC. These 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day will help you shift the way you think about yourself as well as begin to set concrete standards (i.e. boundaries) for how you allow yourself to be treated. You can read more about shifting your mindset and ditching the guilt and self-sabotage in one of my earlier posts here.

Carving out space for loving yourself:

1. Screen your phone calls (keep conversations /interactions with disruptive people to a min, including family members-aka, boundaries)Pick your “yeses”- don’t say yes to everything or everyone; to avoid falling into the “superwoman” trap.
2. Eat mindfully-savor your food/meals, don’t rush through eating like a truck driver at a truck stop. It’s not healthy and it’s also stressful.
3. Meditate. As much I moan and groan about this sometimes, taking up meditation is literally life-changing!
4. However or whenever you do it; sleep. Whether it’s in chunks of 3, 3 hr “naps” per day; it’s critical that you power down enough to get quality sleep.
5. Take yourself on a “self-date night”! That’s right. Go see a movie, go to dinner, etc by and with yourself. You’ll be amazed at how much this exercise will help you gain self-confidence and a sense of self. It forces you to confront any insecurities you might have about o.p.e and especially the external view of you.
6. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers. It doesn’t have to be over-the-top pricey, so appreciate the woman you are by treating yourself the way you want to be treated. When you do this, it signals your subconscious to internalize the fact that you are worthy of both love and appreciation. Also, you’re shifting your mindset into one of positivity and gratitude.

These 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day is an ever-growing list of activities that help me remain grounded and mindful.

Here are some more quick tips on how to love yourself this  Valentine’s Day:

7. Take a social media vacation: yes. Turn off and tune out all social media for at least 24 hrs. In fact, there are a number of studies that support the idea that too much social media surfing negatively impacts mental health and wellness.

8. Take a detox relaxation bath. That’s right ladies! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come home from a long stressful day at work, stripped out of clothes, and jumped in the shower even though what I really wanted was a long relaxing bath.

9. Journal. If you’ve never journaled before, this is a great time to start. You can use this as an opportunity to really have a conversation with your core self. It’s also a great way to help you get in touch with your feeling.

10.  Show some love to the person you see in the mirror today. That’s right. Sit yourself down, gaze into the mirror, and accept everything that you are today, including your imperfections. How do you do this? First, you need to accept the fact that you are far from perfect and that’s true for every other person on the planet. Next, speak aloud about everything you have accomplished to date and express your gratitude for this day.

Here are a few more ideas to round out your Valentine’s Day self-love session:

11.  Get creative! Yes, this is a great time to really dig into your inner creativity; we’ve all got it. It can be something as simple as trying out a new recipe from Pinterest or your favorite cookbook to painting a nature scene. Whatever you do, make sure it’s something that sparks your inner child.

12.  Touch every part of you. All right, here is where we’re digging deep and headed into some not so comfortable places. By this I mean, wrap your arms around yourself, and speak loving words of appreciation and acceptance to yourself about your body. You can either stand or sit in front of a mirror or find a meditation space.

13.  Deliberately structure a day for yourself alone. This is an important exercise. Don’t call any loved ones, friends, acquaintances, etc just be very deliberate about structuring a day that is fully dedicated to your own needs (and I don’t mean running errands or to-dos). Use this 24 hour period “mindfully” engage with your inner self; digging into those areas of yourself that you’ve neglected. Next, after taking the time to do this, end the day with a ceremonial (i.e. deep breathing exercise accompanied by a personal self-affirmation, etc) activity to seal your intentions.

14. Breathe. Do some deep breathing exercises and keep your mind completely blank. Just, stay in the moment and don’t allow your mind to drift beyond the present. When you do this, you release stress and mental clutter, so try it!

Final Thoughts on How to love yourself this Valentine’s Day (and every other day of the year):

These are just a few ideas for how you can show yourself some love this Valentine’s Day however if it’s a struggle I’m far from surprised. Read up on why it’s so hard for women to self-care and more in one of my earlier posts right here! Here’s another thought: get out of your comfort zone and embark on a self-care retreat to revive, rejuvenate, and empower you! At the end of the day, it’s all about honoring who you are, your needs, and embracing your authentic self. My hope for you is that this list of 14 ways to love yourself this Valentine’s Day, marks the beginning of your self-care journey.

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quickly. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.