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Let me start by asking, can we normalise selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day? I’m like really! It’s a new year and that tired idea of “treating” yourself and calling it selfcare, is old and pathetic at this point. Not only that, it’s costing women their lives, health and happiness! Selfcare has become an increasingly popular term in recent years, but it’s often associated with special occasions like Valentine’s Day. While it’s great to have a day to celebrate love and self-love, the truth is that selfcare is a year-round practice, and it’s something that every woman needs!

The reality of it all

Normalising selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day means recognising that taking care of yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity. It means making self-care a regular part of your daily routine and prioritising it just as much as you would any other important task.

So, how can you normalise self-care beyond Valentine’s Day? Here are a few tips:

  1. Make it a daily habit

Selfcare doesn’t have to be fancy or grand. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to do something that makes you feel good. This could be anything from taking a relaxing bath to practicing yoga to reading a book. The key is to make it a daily habit, so it becomes a natural part of your routine.

  1. Find what works for you

Selfcare looks different for everyone, so it’s important to find what works for you. What makes you feel relaxed and rejuvenated? What helps you recharge after a long day? Some people might find solace in nature, while others might prefer meditation. Experiment with different selfcare practices until you find what resonates with you.

  1. Make time for it

One of the biggest barriers to selfcare is time. It’s easy to put off taking care of ourselves when we have so many other things to do. But the truth is, selfcare is just as important as any other task on your to-do list. Make time for it by scheduling it into your day or week. Treat it like an important appointment that you can’t miss.

Some more tips on selfcare

  1. Let go of guilt

Many women feel guilty about taking time for themselves. We’re conditioned to put others’ needs before our own, but selfcare is not selfish or incidental. It’s critical for our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Let go of the guilt and give yourself permission to prioritise selfcare.

  1. Create a support system

Selfcare is more fun and effective when you do it with others. Create a support system of friends or family members who are also committed to prioritising selfcare. You can share ideas, motivate each other, and hold each other accountable.

Bottom line, normalising selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day is about recognising that taking care of yourself is a year-round practice. It’s about making self-care a daily habit, finding what works for you, making time for it, letting go of guilt, and creating a support system. By prioritizing self-care, you’ll not only feel better but also be better equipped to handle the challenges that come your way.

Priorities ladies!

I can’t say it enough; selfcare beyond Valentine’s Day needs to be your mantra for the rest of the year. It’s not you being needy, whinny, or some other socio-cultural shaming terminology. This is you making your health and well being, the center of how you move through this world.  For some concrete tips and ideas for creating your own selfcare routine, read this earlier viral post right here!
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Barriers to selfcare for Black and other women of color 

1.  Lack of representation

Women of color may feel that the mainstream wellness industry does not represent their needs and preferences. The lack of representation can lead to feeling excluded, invisible, and not valued. It can also lead to difficulty finding resources that are culturally sensitive and appropriate.

2.  Intersectional discrimination

Women of colour, especially Black women face multiple forms of discrimination, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism. These forms of oppression can cause stress, anxiety, and trauma, which can make it difficult to prioritise self-care.

  1. Systemic barriers

Women of colour may face systemic barriers to accessing self-care resources, such as limited financial resources, lack of affordable and accessible healthcare, limited access to healthy food options, and lack of safe and supportive environments.

Other barriers to consider

  1. Caregiving responsibilities

Women of colour are often expected to take on caregiving responsibilities for their families and communities, which can make it challenging to find time for self-care. The pressure to put others’ needs before their own can lead to feelings of guilt and self-neglect.

  1. Mental health stigma

Women of colour may face stigma and shame around mental health, which can prevent them from seeking help and support. The fear of being perceived as weak or vulnerable can lead to self-isolation and a reluctance to engage in self-care practices that may benefit their mental health.

My final thoughts

Let’s start a clean slate for this new season by recognising that women are facing a global health crisis. That crisis is the absence of selfcare that has become even more critical in a global system of patriarchy, anti-blackness and misogyny.  For women of colour, they’re are additional barriers to selfcare that need to be recognised and addressed. These barriers include lack of representation, intersectional discrimination, systemic barriers, caregiving responsibilities, and mental health stigma. By acknowledging and addressing these barriers, we can create a better world for all women across the globe! Also, check out this short post more selfcare ideas for newbies!

Selfcare Beyond Valentine’s Day

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Why a spiced elderberry and echinacea tincture?

With everything that’s happening today (i.e. global pandemic), this certainly isn’t the time to neglect your health. That’s why I’m pulling out my spiced elderberry and echinacea tincture today!  Fall and winter are usually the seasons when we tend to bone up on our teas, infusions, and whatnots, in preparation for the flu season. Over the last few years, I’ve begun to pull back on the use of over-the-counter medicines in favor of home remedies and traditional health support herbs, etc.

My thoughts on conventional cold and flu drugs

Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for conventional pharmaceuticals, but I’ve since come to appreciate and realize that traditional remedies can be far more effective and less damaging to the body. I’m not making any health claims here, but for me, I believe traditional medicines seem better able to work in harmony with the body’s own natural mechanisms for healing itself.

Going back to my roots

Drawing on the traditional teachings of my own ancestors within my family as well as my own experience as a novice in herbalism, this is my preference. Always consult your own healthcare provider for any treatment regimes or medicines.  This simple spiced elderberry and echinacea tincture is one I love and have added to my home remedies cabinet! It’s cheaper and works best for me and mine even as I’m sharing this recipe with you.

**As always, make sure you check with your healthcare provider to ensure that these ingredients are safe for you to consume, especially if you have medical conditions or medicines that might interact with any of these ingredients!!
**Please also note that this post contains affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

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Making my  batch of spiced elderberry and echinacea tincture

I always start with organic or homegrown ingredients especially, when it comes to something you’re going put in your body. If you’re like me and don’t have tons of space for a large backyard garden, I love the versatility of dried berries. Organic all the way baby, even the spices! There are so many recipe options for elderberry tinctures out there. I’m using this combination of spices and other ingredients because it not only tastes good, but the spices also have some healing benefits as well!

Simple things you’ll need for this recipe

  1. 1 cup of organic dried elderberries.
  2. Use high-quality alcohol like vodka or you can use rum. Just make sure it has a high concentration of alcohol; 80 proof).
  3. 1/4 cup of organic dried echinacea.
  4. 1/2 teaspoon of fresh ground nutmeg.
  5. Next, add 1/4 teaspoon of ginger powder.
  6. You will also need 1/4 teaspoon of ground cinnamon.
  7. 1/4 cup of organic raw honey (to be added after the curing process).
  8. Small and medium-sized wide-mouth mason jars.
  9. 1 oz Dropper bottle
  10. Cheesecloth (or a fine-mesh sieve)

About the two main ingredients

Echinacea: 

Well known for its many health benefits, echinacea reduces inflammation, improves immunity, and lower blood sugar levels. Also, it’s used as a natural pain reducer, helps with digestion as well as skin-boosting benefits too! Extensive research has been done on it’s medicinal properties and confirmed to be antifungal and antibacterial and is safe with few side effects. Also, for maximum effectiveness, it’s best to take it at the first signs of illness.

Elderberry:

Elderberries have been widely studied in Europe and believed to be one of the most potent natural plants for fighting cold and flu viruses. Not only that, they are loaded with antioxidants, vitamins, boosts, fights infection, and supports the immune system. Elderberries have powerful antiviral properties and are helpful for treating upper respiratory infections and reducing fever.

How to make your elderberry and echinacea tincture

Take all of your dry ingredients, including the spices, and fill your jars ½ – ¾ full. Next,  completely cover them with the vodka or rum and then tightly cover your mixture with the lid. Then, gently invert your mixture several times to ensure that the alcohol is fully incorporated. Store it in a cool and dry place (I use my pantry) for 4-6 weeks, periodically inverting it for the entire time frame.

Once it’s ready, simply strain the mixture with a cheesecloth or fine mesh (be sure to get as much liquid out as possible) and pour it into a dropper bottle or small jar. Don’t forget to date and label your tincture and include the recipe.

A quick note on storage

No refrigeration is needed because of the high alcohol content used in the process. This is why it’s important to use at least 75 proof or higher vodka, rum, etc because it has much lower water content plus a longer shelf life (a year versus a few weeks!).

Before you go

There are so many health benefits to be found in a variety of fruits, veggies, and herbs. From tinctures and syrups to dried fruit and vegetable snacks. Read my post on making nutritious homemade dried fruit snacks here!

About the author

Tonye Tariah is a Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

Spiced Elderberry and Echinacea tincture

Why Selfcare is difficult for women

I know how difficult it is to find time to actually practice self-care. Like most women around the world, each day is usually a constant balancing act of taking care of other people, their expectations, and a whole slew of obligations! Regardless of what corner of the world we live in, selfcare is difficult for women to varying degrees.

 

The daily reality for the average woman

There are few women in the real world, who can say they are always able to make time for their self-care needs and without the guilt and burden of constantly trying to live up to the expectations of others (including society). For every woman that has struggled to break free from that cycle of guilt around making time for their own self-care and their needs in general, it really is “all in your head!”.  Yes, selfcare is difficult for women-especially if you’re trying to first meet the needs and expectations of other people, etc.

What selfcare is not

Let’s be clear, doing for both family and community is something we should all aspire to but that is not to say that one should neglect one’s own wellbeing. Historically, women have had to choose between their own self-care and the needs of others. That’s in addition to the demands made by society and culture.

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A bit of history about the self-care movement 

The self-care movement was birthed during the anti-war and civil rights movements. It has it’s origins in the medical sphere as both physicians and academicians were looking at strategies to mitigate the effects of high-stress work environments on healthcare workers. Later on, it transformed into a broader movement as it became politicized during the civil rights and women’s movement of the ’60s and early ’70s.

 

With that in mind here are a few quick tips to help you begin to break the cycle

1. Start saying “NO”! I know it sounds easy, but I also know how difficult it is to do this when you have been conditioned and silenced by society for so long. Like most women, I put my needs, desires, and health far below that of family and other obligations. I also watched women in my family and lineage suffer the same fate. Experience has shown me that the only way to break the cycle is to start with the word “NO”.  Believe it or not, this one word contains a lot of power and has the effect of shaking up the status quo and activates a place in your core that has long been silent and ineffectual.

2. Know what it means to have boundaries and create them (if you don’t know).  It starts with self-discovery and identifying what is in alignment with your inner self versus what is in violation of those core beliefs and or elements.

3. Stop asking for permission to self-care. Again, sounds pretty straight forward but it will surprise you to find out how much resistance you encounter when you begin to assert yourself and enforce your boundaries!

4. Take ownership of your entire self (i.e. self-acceptance) including the good, the bad and the ugly. After all, if you don’t accept yourself, you can not expect anyone else to do so either.

What you can expect on this journey:

As I mentioned earlier, be prepared for some push-back when you begin to use your voice and as you put your boundaries in place. That being said, the freedom and level of transformation are more than worth it!

What you will gain this journey:

One of the most meaningful gains from this process is empowerment. Freedom from self-sabotage and servitude to other people’s expectations is no small accomplishment. Especially when it means regaining your power and ability to speak your truth without the fear of being judged or shamed into silence. Click this link to find out more about how to break the cycle of O.P.E!

Before you go

At the end of the day, if you don’t value your health and wellbeing, no one else will. That’s the harsh truth of the matter. If you’re struggling to come up with good selfcare ideas in the midst of this global “lockdown, read  “14 Ways To Love Yourself 365 Days A Year”14 Ways To Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

 

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

Why Selfcare is difficult For Women

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As a fitness coach, I’m learning and growing into being my own boss with the powerful realization that the ONLY one qualified to put a value on who I am, my skills, abilities, and potential, IS ME! How liberating is that? Ha ha! As women, the “odds” are definitely not in our favor when it comes down to being fairly compensated for our talents and skills, hence the draw toward being our own bosses, etc.

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I know for me it was a combination of things; first came health issues due to work-related stress and poor nutrition and second, I just got tired of not getting fairly compensated and appreciated for my skills simply because of how the deck is stacked against women in the workplace in general. Other issues definitely came into play as well, but the bottom line is that there is nothing more rewarding than stepping out on faith and taking the plunge as the creator of YOUR own destiny! YAY! *cartwheels*

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These days I’m taking the time to reach out and make new friends and connections in order to share my journey to fitness and empowerment (yep, still a work in progress *giggles*) while opening the door to new experiences and life’s adventures.You can join in too…

 

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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Hump Day and Fitness Motivation

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