Category Self Love

What are you doing?

Do you catch yourself always making or being available for everything and anyone? Not setting boundaries? Stop that! It’s time for some self-care. STOP putting your needs aside and face up to the fact that you need to build some fences.
Being selfless, helpful, and nurturing is admirable but, there comes a time when you need to set conditions. This also means limiting access to your time and sacred space. I’m all for “doing” but when or, at what point do you replenish and renew yourself  (i.e. self-care, tend to your own needs, etc) or even ask for some assistance for yourself or for a personal task?

When you’re always available you’re NOT setting boundaries

That’s not being unselfish or “giving”, that’s what I call INSECURE;  unable to separate your own worth or value from your ability to “help” or be “available.”  More specifically, coupling your identity and self-worth to your ability to “help” or be needed by someone else.

Breaking the cycle

In other words, if you find yourself constantly stuck in a cycle (a.k.a. hamster wheel going nowhere) of continuous tasks, obligations,  or activities for other people  (and finding it difficult to say no), you’ve got a problem and not the other way around. There was a time when I too found it not only difficult to say no but also found it hard to set limits for other people and things.

Balance

Setting and being able to set boundaries also speaks to the issue of balance. It’s also an aspect of personal development in terms of what and who you allow into your sacred space (a.k.a your home, environment or personal space, etc). For instance, not knowing when to say no to a request is a problem! That goes for double for anything that is not in alignment with your wants, comfort level, etc. It’s also a flashing red light that says,   more”inside” work needed!

The point

In other words, you shouldn’t feel pressed into agreeing with a position if it goes against the core of your being. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with refusing to engage or feel obligated to do something that you know will take you out of alignment with your core beliefs or feels invasive. To me, that’s not a growth-driven discomfort but rather smacks of someone trying to get in your Koolaid without knowing your flavor!

In retrospect

Looking back, I’ve seen soo many instances where I was not setting boundaries because of my own personal development shortcomings. At the end of the day,  I wound up on the losing end of things. I’ve since discovered I’m not alone in this experience and for women, this seems to be one of our weak points. Not knowing our own value and failing to appreciate our unique authentic selves, is what society has trained us to do.

There’s always that one client who asks “what does that have to do with getting fit?” A lot actually! My question to you today is, ARE YOU READY TO DO WHAT’S NECESSARY, start setting boundaries, OR stay on the hamster wheel going nowhere?

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog. She helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her belief is that “the cookie-cutter method only works for cookies”. This means that she helps each woman in a way that is unique to each woman. By doing this, she’s better able to help them transform their lives from the inside out. Her ultimate goal is to help women become healthy and empowered through the transformative self-care journey!

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Well, the first month of 2017 bites the dust! You can bet there already quite a few people who’ve thrown in the towel and muttering “mea a culpa, mea culpa”, under their breath as they remain stuck on that hamster wheel with no destination in sight. It’s been my experience that, the hardest part of any challenge, journey, process, etc,  is actually taking that first step. 

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Well, the first month of 2017 bites the dust! You can bet there already quite a few people who’ve thrown in the towel and muttering “mea a culpa, mea culpa”, under their breath as they remain stuck on that hamster wheel with no destination in sight. It’s been my experience that, the hardest part of any challenge, journey, process, etc,  is actually taking that step. Yes, it’s not easy and yes, it can seem daunting, but I believe we humans are meant to grow and thrive through challenges and those uncomfortable places. Have you ever noticed the beauty of the climbing rose, marveled at the complexity of a spider’s web? They both have something in common; creativity through the challenge, adaptation through variation, etc.

Most living things require some degree of stress or “stretching”  in order to grow. While I don’t subscribe to the notion of “survival of the fittest” there is something to be gained from experiencing challenges and as well as getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. I always tell my clients to shed the illusion of comfort in order to gain freedom being stuck and stagnated. I’ve learned from personal experience, that “this” is one of the greatest barriers to both personal growth and pursuing your passion; needless to say that path leads to regret and dissatisfaction and an overall unhealthy mindset and by extension, an unbalanced life.

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With that in mind here are a few quick tips:

1. Store dairy products at the back of the fridge. While it may make for easy access, keeping your milk at the front of the fridge makes it more prone to spoilage due to temperature differences. This is because the back of the fridge is colder and will, therefore, give your dairy products are longer shelf life.

2. Place your meats on the bottom shelf so that their juices do not drip on other food items (i.e. produce, etc) and contaminate them. If space is an issue, place your meat products on a tray or inside a leak-proof container in order to catch any drippings. Better yet, prep and package your meats into manageable portions (i.e. serving sizes for soups, meals, etc) and then store them in the freezer until you’re ready to cook your meals. Also, separate lunch meats from raw meats in order to prevent illness associated with cross-contamination.

3. Like any other plant, well-hydrated herbs will last longer and be less likely to spoil when you store them properly. Fresh herbs, like basil, asparagus, and green onions will last a good while if you store them upright in a jar of fresh water. Simply trim the stems, cover them with a piece of plastic wrap, and place them in the refrigerator for storage and use as needed.

4. Be aware of where to store fruits and vegetables. Not all fruits and veggies require refrigeration and in some instances, refrigeration affects the taste quality of some fruits and vegetables. For instance, avocados (yes, technically it’s a fruit because it has a seed y’all), citrus, bananas, nectarines, pears, peaches, onions, tomatoes, and potatoes do best outside of your fridge at room temperature or in your pantry. A quick warning though; don’t store onions and potatoes together due to the ethylene gas which can cause them to spoil each other faster.

5. I’ve been doing this for years ( thanks, momma), but did you know it really helps when you wrap your greens in paper towels. They’re great at preventing slimy residue from accumulating and making a science experiment in your bag of lettuce, spinach, or other leafy greens. Simply use paper towels to soak up excess moisture and lightly wrap your green in a few paper towels. This also works for leftover salad greens in food storage containers (minus the salad dressing of course).

6. Cover the crown of your bunches of bananas with plastic wrap. It helps to slow the release of that ethylene gas which is the meany responsible for breaking (the natural process that causes your produce to spoil) down one of my go-to mid-morning snacks. This is a good way to preserve your bananas if you’re not going to eat them right away.

7. Did you know wrapping your bunches of celery in foil helps it stay fresh and crunchy for up to as much as four weeks?  Yep, wrapping it up in foil and then placing it in your fridge’s crisper drawer will help extend the life of your celery. The foil does this by allowing just the right amount of moisture in, and the ethylene gas out.

8. Stop! Don’t wash all your produce at once. I know it’s counter-intuitive but it’s much better to wash your produce as you go if you want to maximize its shelf life. Unless you plan on freezing your food, you should only be washing things you’re ready to eat right away or soon after. This will reduce the chances of mold growing on damp produce.

9.  Another “who’d a thunk it?” If you want to keep those berries mold free, soak them in vinegar. If you’re not going to consume them all at once, simply quick soak your berries in a solution of three parts water, one part vinegar in order to kill bacteria and prevent molding. Once you’ve done that, give the berries a thorough pat dry and store in the fridge.

10. Another great time saver and a great way to preserve your veggies to simply roast them prior to storage. By roasting vegetables such as broccoli and cauliflower,  you can extend their shelf life. Not only that, it’s also a great meal prep tip to have cooked veggies on hand that you can quickly incorporate into any meal.

11. I can say this enough! Store grains in air-tight containers!! While buying in bulk is a great way to save money when grocery shopping, you want to make sure that you store it correctly so the extra food doesn’t go to waste. It’s critical that you make sure to transfer your grains into an airtight container to maintain freshness, as well as keep those pesky bugs away. Do yourself a favor by labeling your containers with the purchase dates so you’re able to keep track of expiration dates and avoid wasting stored foods.

12. Always Double-check your fridge’s temperature especially as the seasons’ change (i.e. summer vs. winter months). You want to make sure that your fridge is set at the correct temperature and that your thermostat is in proper working order to prevent spoilage and reduce the risk of food born illnesses. The recommended temperature is 40 degrees Fahrenheit or 5 degree Celsius for those of you who are using the mks measurement system.

If you’re still not sure where to begin, grab my FREE Pantry Detox Gude GUIDE HERE

For the complete Introductory Produce, Shopping Guide grab a copy HERE!!

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, etc. Wow, who can keep up with all the social media plans? I love having different media to explore, but the unrealness of some of it all boggles the mind! So what’s your story? I always wonder as I look around at the various shapes, sizes, and body types,  “what’s going through her head when she looks in the mirror?” ( I do this a lot when I’m people watching, by the way, *snicker*). Just by the facial expressions alone; some look happy, sad, and the others? Well, I’m not so sure of their place in this colorful complex world but hey, we all have to find “ourselves” and come into our own at some point.

I can’t say I get it as to why we women, seem to struggle so much with finding and embracing who we are; be it in terms of our physical shape and weight (facial features, physical attributes, etc) or some “thing” about ourselves that we perceive as our individual shortcomings or the less “pretty” parts of ourselves. Whatever it is, we all need to stop and evolve beyond these destructive tendencies. Which leads me to my next rant-

I won’t go into details but suffice it to say, it was “mean girls” on steroids; nothing funny about that at all. As an adult I get it: insecure, inadequate, immature women (and some adults in general) have a tendency to lash out or project their problems onto the closest target, usually manifesting itself in bullying or some other destructive behavior ( at least that’s been my observation). If there is one thing we really need to outgrow as females (of any age), it’s turning on one another, comparing (and finding deficiencies or inadequacies, etc) ourselves to other women, and trying to fit ourselves into mainstream media’s warped image of the “perfect” female!

I truly believe that if  (or most) mothers and fathers out there, taught their daughters to value themselves based on what they carried within (as well as the beauty contained embodied in their uniqueness), rather than what’s on the outside, women, and girls would find it much easier to be true friends and colleagues, rather than predator vs. prey, mean girl vs. the nerd, same vs. other. I guess I’m just disappointed to see that we still allow ourselves to be victimized and manipulated by both the media society as we struggle to find ourselves even as we stare blankly at the girl in the mirror…I’m still hopeful that in the end, we (women and girls) will finally get a clue and realize that we are own worst enemy.

About the author

Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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Season’s Greetings and on with getting your holiday hustle on, Y’all! Now that we’ve got most of the year’s holidays done, I refuse to forget the effort I used to power through this journey and,  the vision that led me to this point. I love the holidays and most of the seasons (still working on “loving” winter) but I certainly don’t want to fall victim to the “holiday blues”, a.k.a “woulda, coulda, shoulda, regret, *sigh*. I’ve finally learned that all of “that” just locks you into a negative mindset and an inability to move forward with the action (a.k.a . being stuck in the crossroads) necessary to make change and progress in your life.

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Season’s Greetings and on with getting your holiday hustle on, Y’all! Now that we’ve got most of the year’s holidays done, I refuse to forget the effort I used to power through this journey and,  the vision that led me to this point. I love the holidays and most of the seasons (still working on “loving” winter, hahaha) but I certainly don’t want to fall victim to the “holiday blues”, a.k.a “woulda, coulda, shoulda, regret, *sigh*. I’ve finally learned that all of “that” just locks you into a negative mindset and an inability to move forward with the action (a.k.a . being stuck in the crossroads) necessary to make change and progress in your life. Whether you started this year with a goal of trying to lose a few pounds (or a lot) or something more life changing (i.e. committing  to a healthy lifestyle, improving your health and fitness, changing your diet, regaining balance in your life, etc), the fact remains that you’re only a loser, if  YOU give up!The holidays are usually stressful and quite emotional because this is a time when most of us reflect on the past (and yes, sometimes, dwell ) a tad too much and can’t see the forest for the trees (i.e. blinded by our perception of our own “failures” or inadequacies). I don’t claim to have a magic pill for this, only a few words of advice based on my own personal experience and observations: life is about G.R.O.W.T.H. and it will stretch you whether you’re ready for it to do so or not. Bottom line? Get comfortable with being uncomfortable and your life will be filled with more fulfillment, passion and balanced!

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I often say three things to all my potential clients: 1.make a decision, 2. get a plan, and 3. take action! If YOU want to take back control of your life and by extension, your own personal wellspring of power and passion, YOU must get passed all those “negative thoughts” and “things” that have been telling you that you’re a failure or you’re not strong enough to make it to the finish line. I always remind my tribe that good health and fitness is a reflection of an empowered and fulfilled individual. In other words, just as fatigue, stress, insomnia, obesity etc arere indicators of an unhealthy and unbalanced life, the reverse is also true! Good health, fitness (i.e. mind-body and soul) point to a life that is in balance.

Rather than dwell on the failings of the past year, renew your determination to push through to your own personal victory and accept the challenge to “get uncomfortable” and enjoy this journey to true fitness and health and leave behind the gimmicks, tricks and lies we often tell ourselves in order to avoid  real C.H.A.N.G.E. Now, having said all that, I’m gonna keep on with my holiday hustle to end 2016 with a bang and not a whimper of defeat and regret! What about YOU? Are YOU up for it?…

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Tonye Tariah, Holistic Health Strategist and founder of Freedom at The Crossroads Blog, helps free women from inaction and unhealthy habits so they can get fit, healthy, and live free. Her approach is “the cookie cutter method only works for cookies,” meaning she helps each person in a unique way helps them transform their lives from the inside out. She’s not about helping you lose weight quick. She’s about changing your habits and helping you fall in love with yourself so you can live a life with pure joy.

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